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Thoughts, lessons, and theology from an eclectic witch from a varied background.

Monday, June 12, 2017

Godspousery Notes: Everything Goes Sideways.

It has been a little while since I updated on this topic. Part of the reason is because I wasn't quite sure what to say and part of the reason is because life has been hectic. I was sitting here wondering why everything was in such turmoil of late. And then Loki cleared it up. At which point I felt completely foolish.

We have an agreement, him and I. There is a small list of things that I have to do, which is aimed towards improving my health and my relationships with people close to me. I had been failing to make the effort towards these things. After a week of not doing these things, my luck started to go off kilter. And the chaos field around me, for lack of a better word, activated. I wasn't putting the cause together with the effects, and getting frustrated with it all.

Loki sat me down Saturday evening and had a conversation with me. He pointed out where my failings were and where I was actually struggling. He noted that my struggles counted towards doing what I agreed to because I was making the effort. The others, I had basically given up when it got hard As a result, I started having problems that were not so bad as to actually be injurious to anyone but significant enough to catch my attention.

I was oblivious as to just how out of synch things had gotten until my slow cooker decided to try to light itself on fire. And then, later in the day, chaos happened around me when I was out grocery shopping. Things like wheels falling off of shopping carts as I passed by, items falling off of pallet jacks and landing at my feet each time I walked by one, or the biggest thing, every single cash register that was open crashing all at the same time when I walked up to check out. Synchronicity was really hard to brush off at that point.

So, after that conversation between Loki and I, I apologized for my failure to hold up my end of the agreement. I was firmly told not to apologize, just fix my behavior. I said I would. A little bit later, after the conversation had been done for a little while, I started to habitually do something that was not very good for me. Cue Loki's reminder.

A bat just appeared in the apartment. I have no idea how the little thing got in here. But I spent about an hour freaking out and trying to get it out. It kept swooping me. When I initially realized it was there, it tried to land on me. (No biting or scratches.) I managed to herd it out into the entryway and I shut the front door of the apartment, thinking the matter resolved. Go use the bathroom, come back into the kitchen to find, lo and behold, the bat had crawled UNDER my shut door. It flew around in circles for a bit. I had a minor panic attack. Then managed to get it out the backdoor.

Sometimes Loki's reminders are subtle. Other times, it is literally a bat flying at your head.

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