A reading of the Bright Mother's Journey to the Cave of the World

 

A Walk with The Bright Mother.

 This time, the waves calmed as a star kindled over Her. She walked to the shores of creation and through the deep forests. As she walked, she grew greater with child and the star grew brighter. When the Mistress of All Things came to the cave at the center of the world, the entrance into the abyss, her angels and the elder kin drew about her. Her handmaiden stood at the entrance of the cave as the star's light grew ten thousandfold, illuminating the place almost as bright as day. - Clear Recital: CDV, The Birth of the Holy Daughter verses 16 to 19, pg 21 lines 12 to 22

 As strange as it sounds, right now, the Bright Mother is walking through creation to her place of laying in. Prayers to Marya are especially effective, for in this moment, we are one with her, though we do not know it. Even as she moves through the whole of creation, she moves through us to the center of our being. Take a moment, now and between Mother's Night, when she enters the Cave of the World, and meditate on the closeness of your celestial mother. Feel her love and concern for your well being that has moved her to take this action.

For in entering creation, Marya briefly sets foot upon the wheel of incarnation. In a fallen world, perfection walks to bring our deliverance. She suffers the pains of pregnancy and labor with out the grief that death may await her or her babe on the moment of delivery. Marya has become one with us, she knows our hopes and dreams. She knows our sorrows and losses. She knows us in a way that no intimate companion of this world can. She sees our true callings in this world and gently encourages us to reach for them. She comforts us as only a loving mother can as we struggle in this world.

And yet, her greatest act of love is yet to come.

The Star of Hope

 Dear Reader,

If you are reading the Clear Recital: CDV, you will find an accounting of how the Bright Mother moves through creation cloaked in the shadows of the second night. Above her is a star that grows brighter as she draws closer to her destination, the Cave of the World. This star is the star of Hope. It bespeaks the promise of the Holy Daughter to permanently fix reunion with the Bright Mother.

This causes all the children of Déa to remember themselves and put aside their striving against each other and to journey to the Cave of the world, but one. The Dark Queen weeps and laments how she has defiled herself and how unworthy she feels to approach the Bright Mother for forgiveness. Torn between her frenzied rage and her deep grief, the Dark Queen descends farther into madness and deeper into the pit of Khear in an attempt to flee the gentle light of the star of Hope. But, even into the eternal blackness of the pit of Khear, the light of the star of Hope shines. For where does hope shine brightest but in the places of despair and grief.

Veiled Witch Video: The Conception of the Holy Daughter

 Dear Reader,

Tomorrow is the holiday commemorating and celebrating the conception of the Daughter of the Bright Mother. This week's video is a reading from the Clear Recital: Children of Déa Version of that event.

I did not plan for a week to go by. Oiy.

Life caught up with me between appointments and catching this blasted cold, it's been bananas over here. That said, there's been some requests for devotional fiction. As we know, in fiction lies truths that we can not speak. I will be posting a video a bit later, but here is a story of the First War, as mentioned in the Children of Dèa Version of the Clear Recital. I hope you enjoy. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The Celestial Janyati watched as Sai Vikhë set up a loom. It's frame was made of bone. The warp was the sinews of the dead. The warp weights were the heads of dead warriors. Her shuttle was an arrow and the weft was the guts of the dead. Sai Kala walked about the loom with fascination. Sai Werde frowned as Sai Maia wept.

"Sister," Sai Mati said, "What madness is this?"

"Something necessary," Sai Vikhë answered grimly. As she picked up the arrow and threw it through the open warp, in the worlds below something previously unknown began to stir. Sai Vikhë closed the first shed and opened the second. It seemed as though the worlds below groaned under a great weight. "She must rise before she falls," Sai Vikhë said, though her explanation confused Sai Mati, the wisest of them. Sai Thamë heaved a sigh of sorrow and reached to stop her sisters from interrupting Sai Vikhë.

"Must it be so soon?" Sai Thamë asked, "Can we not wait a little longer?" Sai Vikhë shook her head, tossing her black hair about her with the vigor of the motion.

Sai Sushuri gasped and put her delicate hands over her mouth as Sai Vikhë wove faster and gore began to drip from her weavings. Sai Sushuri turned and hid her face against Sai Raya's shoulder, desperately willing the image to leave her mind. Sai Raya watched all of this with a solemn expression as she ran a hand soothingly along her younger sister's back. "How long until it is finished?" Sai Raya asked, knowing what Sai Vikhë was fashioning.

"With the dark of the moon," Sai Vikhë answered, "And the earth turns to iron as snow falls for the first time."

"That is too close to when ..." Sai Raya started to say when Sai Candrè approached with a heavy veil over her and a dark shawl swathed about her body.

"It grows cold, even here," Sai Candré. The clouds about them began to form tiny, perfect crystals that floated down towards the worlds below as Sai Vikhë threw her arrow/shuttle through the topmost shed. Sai Vikhë turned to Sai Kala. Sai Kala put a pair of shears into the gore slicked hand. As Sai Vikhë cut the gruesome thing she had woven from its horrific frame, it changed. It turned into a gauzy fabric the color of fresh blood.

"You worked mischief this night," Sai Candré said grimly.

Sai Vikhë turned to her sisters with the fabric in her hands. "Behold, my sisters, the Flag of War. Fashioned to place one who reached too high into their proper place. This shall be my banner and arms. All who march upon the road of bones and answer to the beat of the war drums shall be under it's sign. Ever on will I bear this for my Enemy has taken their place. Our first battle is long in coming but not long enough."

Upcoming recovery period.

 Dear Reader,

The challenge of NaBloPoMo kinda burned me out. I'm taking today and the next two days as a recovery period before I start posting more frequently again. In the meantime, I hope that all of you have a lovely day.

Veiled Witch Videos: It's Advent already?!

 

This weather is stupid. Go home, Nature, you're drunk.

 Dear Reader,

It seems I've caught my son's cold and I'm dealing with pre-migraine symptoms because the temperature is going to jump from in the 20s tonight to near 50 deg F. These wild swings always give me migraines and render me useless. All I can do is lie in a dark room and wait for the medicine to kick in. And sometimes, it's not quite enough. It's all a crap experience. I have ocular migraines. The vision in my right eye goes blurry and then I feel like light is stabbing me in the face. I don't recommend it to anyone.

All of this leads me to confusion as to the arguments that the visions of Hildegarde von Bingen were because of chronic, untreated ocular migraines. I've read a fair amount about her visions and compared them to what we know of ocular migraines. There's only the loosest connection that she had a headache and had to lie down in a darkened room. The rest of it just doesn't line up. Her visions are intensely detailed and dreamlike in quality. But they are not the same as what modern evidence of ocular migraines are like.

Yes, I am one of those who fall on the side of the ledger who say that either the Saint had psychosis or her visions are legit. I lean more towards legitimate insights. They're too organized collectively and internally to really qualify as psychosis. (That's an experience I don't wish on anyone. Did that as part of my post partum depression, it was awful.) 

Now, let's take a moment to look at the psychosis argument. If you are having visual and auditory hallucinations that are helping you become a better person and encourages you in your faith, is this a problem? No, they're harmless and, actually, to some extend beneficial. If your psychosis experience is discouraging your efforts to be healthy, to be a better person, and encouraging you to grow in your faith, this is a sign of dysfunction. 

From everything I have read of Hildegarde von Bingen's writings, there is no sign of dysfunction. It leads me to question of the psychosis argument, I wonder if it is counting on the popular opinion that psychosis is bad/dangerous and is an attempt to discredit Hildegarde von Bingen posthumously. 

I've got nothing witty or insightful today.

Dear Reader,

I was all set to write a post for some economical tricks you can use in your occult practices but that went out of my head as it became clear that I have some serious problems to deal with regarding access to some of the diabetes medication. Please forgive me for a moment as I veer a hard left from the typical topic matter of this blog.

Insurance companies are retconning decisions made by doctors on the basis of money, not anyone's health. We've struggled to get medications approved when suddenly they denied me access to something I had been on for the last four years. There was no reason given, just an imperious decree that I am no longer allowed to take that medication. I know I'm not the only person this happens to. There are literally millions of people with chronic illnesses that the insurance company yanks the rug out from under them on a daily basis.

Throw in on top of this supply chain issues and it gets ugly fast. Some people say this is all because of Covid. I think that Covid ripped the mask of security off of the pharmaceutical industry. I think these problems have always been with us. Covid made some of them worse. But, having our health held hostage by insurance companies that can randomly say we can't have our medication with out having to explain why is bullshit. For a long time I have said that health insurance is a protection racket. Sure, you could try to go with out insurance. That's how we lost all our savings when I first got diagnosed with my illnesses. We are slowly building it back up, since we have got the govt. run health insurance through the state, but it's going to take a while.

(Yes, I am disabled. No, I don't get Social Security. They decided I wasn't disabled enough to qualify.) 

I am at a loss because of this post migraine nonsense.

Dear Reader,

I was going to come up with a divination related blog post for you today. The problem is I had a migraine last night as a front moved through and being post-migraine makes it hard for me to put together words in a way that actually conveys what I want to express. It is highly frustrating, as well as the lingering mild headache that makes my ears ring.

To my friends in the Filianic community what special plans do you have for Advent and the holy days of the month of Astrea. (Forgive any misspellings, I can't quite see right.) One of my big plans is cleaning as much of this apartment as I possibly can. This way we just might find room for a real Nativity tree.  We have a 1 ft. fake tree that we've been using for years and it is beginning to show it's age. If I have to find a tiny wee beastie of a treelike plant, I'm going to hunt down a rosemary bush. Or, maybe I will be lucky and find a sapling of a conifer species.

Today is the Full Moon (my family call it the Hunter's Moon because hunting season for big game happens this month). I hope that Déa will forgive my lack of bread and wine to offer. I do, however, have coffee and a delicious cookie. It a very lax version of the Rite of Sacrifice, but I am not feeling well. I am sure that Mother forgives all faults and understands my struggle.

May all of you be blessed.

I don't typically post on Sundays here, so here's a pretty picture.

 

Godspousery Notes: "Your wife is a very sick woman."

Dear Reader,

Back when my sleep problems began to be a real issue, Loki and Freyr were telling me to tell Beloved "Your wife is a very sick woman. She needs help." It was a nightly thing, they were alternating evenings with that message for about a year. My response was "Of course I am, I have diabetes." They got frustrated with me and stopped with the message for a little while. (Read 1 month out of 4 years.) 

I started working with my psychiatrist to try to resolve my sleep problem. This got a grumpy "We'll see how it works." Then because of the string of loud, fractious neighbors with dogs that barked/howled at all hours, my sleep got worse. My nightmares that I had somewhat under control came back. My daytime CPTSD symptoms got worse. I kept telling myself this will pass if I have patience.

Then, I woke up in the middle of the night choking on acid reflux and phlegm. I talked to my doctor about it and got put on a stronger acid controlling medicine. Freyr muttered as I took my first dose, "Well, that's a start." I started asking them what they meant by their message. Their response at first was "Tell your husband, he'll understand." I tend to be a bit stubborn and I dug my heels in, focused on getting clarification of what they were talking about. After a while, they insisted that I talk to my primary care doctor about my sleep problems.

I was referred to a sleep doctor who had me do an at home sleep study. The results at first didn't make sense. Then Loki said, "You stop breathing in the night." That got the 'aw crap' response. I just kinda drifted along in the direction the sleep doctor got me moving in. When I got my CPAP, they were eager for me to start using it. I had to rearrange the furniture in the bedroom, which took three days. I got a call from my sleep coach asking why the machine wasn't transmitting data. I explained that we were still  making room for it in the bedroom and I was supposed to start using it that night.

Once I started using the CPAP, the consternation of Freyr and Loki settled down considerably. They still insist I need to talk to my doctor about my back pain. I am tired in the morning because I just don't sleep deeply with the CPAP. I still take my morning naps but they don't last as long. Except for when a freight train hits my head ... I mean when I have migraines. They're still concerned, I'm not sure why and they're being a couple of sphinxes about it. I think it's because of my initial 'well, duh! I have diabetes.' has them a bit gun shy about explaining, because they're expecting me to be stubborn and refuse to listen.

Tasseography: The Art of Reading Tea Leaves

Dear Reader,

During the era where bagged tea wasn't available, a popular hobby was tasseography. You and your querent would both have a nice cup of tea, with most of the leaves strained out as you pour. (The tea strainers from the 1800s are absolutely beautiful and have incredible variety of design.) Once your querent is done with their cup of tea, they tip it upside down and set it on the saucer. You may chat for a moment as you wait for the bits of tea leaves left behind settle into their places and the cup cools down.

Tasseography is a highly intuitive form of divination. What follows below is a list of suggested interpretations.

Anchor = Travel and Adventure
Cross = Change or a decision to be made
Balloon = Unsuccessful project
Butterfly = Good luck
Circles = Wealth
Wreath = Company of good friends
Vehicles = A distant journey
Arrows = Misfortune or news coming from the direction the arrow points

This is but a partial list and the meanings are all different in different contexts. It's almost as vague and flexible an art of divination as reading clouds.

A Tale of Loki's Youth (UPG/Family Lore)

 Dear Reader,

This morning I am going to share with you another tale that my mother told me. She said it was told to her by the hidden folk of the land as she was gardening. As we all know, caring for the land makes the hidden folk who live there quite kindly inclined towards us. Thus, they gave her this gift that I pass on to you, though it is bitter.

Loki and Farbuti

One day, young Loki was playing in the ashes of the hearth-fire as his mother stepped out of their home to fetch wood to kindle and burn for the day. He enjoyed drawing pictures and making them move like the puppet his mother had made for him last Yule.

"Boy, get out of those ashes and come with me," Farbuti ordered in a thunderous voice. Slowly, Loki got up. As he walked to his father, Farbuti's large hand gripped his right arm and dragged him closer. Loki could smell the sour scent of ale on his father's breath. It was not long after daybreak and Farbuti was already deep in his cups. "You're going to stop playing with magic," Farbuti growled.

Loki looked up at his angry father and swallowed hard. "It's womanly. Do you want to be ergi?" Farbuti continued. Loki's form shifted like a dancing flame as Laufey came in with her armload of wood. She hadn't heard what Farbuti had said, but she gasped in surprise at Loki's transformation into a comely girl. Farbuti shook his child in fury, certain this was one of Loki's illusions. Flaxen hair shook as the child's unchanged green eyes looked up at him with a combination of terror and fury. Farbuti smacked the girl-child in his grip once across the face. "You are to be a man," Farbuti roared with rage, "I sired no daughter."

Laufey dropped the wood to the floor with a clatter, catching Farbuti's ear. He turned and shoved Loki in the direction of his mother. "This is your fault," he growled, stalking forward. Laufey put her child behind her as she took up the spear she kept with her walking stick.

"Get out," Laufey said quietly. Farbuti reached to snatch the spear out of Laufey's hand when she struck him about the head and shoulders with the butt of it. "I said leave," she ordered him, "And never come back."

"Who are you to order me?" Farbuti snapped.

Loki transformed again, this time into a dragon just small enough to wrap protectively around his mother and fit into the house. Spitting acid and flame at his father as he spoke, Loki said, "She is my mother and mistress of this house."

Farbuti looked at the dragon in horror. He edged his way towards the door. Loki's cat green eyes watched him just as his mother's did. "Leave," Loki hissed. Farbuti fled the place he had come to call home after long years of wandering. Loki moved to follow him and Laufey patted the dragon on the snout. 

"Let him run, you have a mess to clean up and then we'll have breakfast," Laufey said. The dragon transformed again into a red headed boy. As he began stamping out the small fire he started, his mother spoke again. "Loki, you can be what ever you choose. You will always be my child and I will always love you." Loki looked over sheepishly as he stomped.

Insomnia is a great motivator to write, really!

 Dear Reader,

As you can probably tell by the time this post was published, I have been up since stupid o' clock. I got my 4 hours of sleep and then the nausea hit me and I am up for the day. I can't tell if this is anxiety, medication side effect, or a migraine aura symptom. All I know is I feel pretty rotten right now. I will do my best to stay up beat and cheerful for you in this post, but I can not promise success. I'm reaching the point of mild sleep deprivation with how bad my sleep has been over the last several weeks. Supposedly the CPAP machine was going to help with that, but it's proving a bigger annoyance than anything else. I'll get used to it eventually, I hope.

Some things that help me fall asleep, aside from the laundry list of medication I take is Celestial Seasoning's Sleepytime tea and Chamomile tea. Celestial Seasoning's Tension Tamer tea is almost as effective as the Sleepytime tea, but not quite. All three are very gentle ways to ease you into a relaxed state and help you get to sleep. They used to work all on their own for me up until three years ago.

I also use meditation to relax my body so that I can sleep. (If only meditation could make my nausea go away. Oh well.) I've tried several different meditations to relax and fall asleep. The most effective one is the one I am about to share with you. I advise you not to do this meditation if you have a full bladder, because the focus on water will make you uncomfortable until you attend to business.

The Pool

Close your eyes. Slow your breathing to an even pace (Square Breathing is great for this.) and envision a large pool of water for you. A pool of water deep enough and large enough you could swim in if you wanted.

Step into the edge of the pool. Feel the water's soothing warmth and the waves gently lapping at your ankles. As you stand there, you can feel the sandy bottom of the pool cradle your tired feet. Your feet relax and the tension melts into the water. Step forward one pace. Now the warm, soothing water comes to your knees. The aches and tension in your calves eases out into the water. Your knees feel comfortable, if not cozy in this warm water. 

Step forward a second pace into the pool. Look down and see the way the crystal clean and pure water lets you look at how the sand swirls with your footstep, gently caressing the top of your foot as it settles. The water is now up to your hips. The tension and tiredness of your thighs relaxes as your hips release their tension from carrying you through the day.

Step forward a third pace into the pool. The water is deeper here and comes up to your chest. As the waves slowly and gently roll against your skin, the stress and tension melts out of your stomach and chest, like it is carried away by the waves rolling away from you.

Lean back into the pool. Feel the water cradle you as you float on the surface effortlessly. The tension in your arms, back, and shoulders slips away from you as though it is settling in the sand. Your neck relaxes and your scalp releases the stress you've been carrying there through the day.

Float on the surface of the pool and breath deeply, slowly, and comfortably. As intrusive thoughts rise up like bubbles, watch them float away from you, leaving you at peace. Focus on the feelings of comfort, peace, and warmth as your entire body relaxes.

Loki's Children: A Tale of Hubris by the Aesir

 Dear Reader,

Knowledge is knowing tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it into a fruit salad. When the All-Father went to the Volva seeking a prophecy, he was told that Loki's children by Angboda were going to bring great misfortune and suffering to the Aesir. Odin did not listen to this warning  but reacted on emotion. This is a situation where I think things would have turned out differently if Tyr was ruling the Aesir. (It is believed that prior to the migration period of the Nordic and Germanic people, Tyr was the King of Asgard and held the title of All-Father. Much debate goes on over this point.)

Just as King Cohnochbar sought to prevent the destruction of his tribe over the beautiful woman named Dierdre, Odin ignored important elements of the prophecy out of his fear of his tribe being destroyed. Chonochbar (one of the spellings I've encountered for this name, I doubt it is correct but Anglicized.) locked Dierdre away and sought to marry her when she was of age. His prophecy said that kings and princes would seek to marry her and bring ruin to his tribe. Chonochbar in his fear for his tribe and his desire for Dierdre, locked her away and brought about the beginning of the prophecy.

Odin and a strong force of warriors came to Angrboda and forcibly removed her children from her as she cried 'They're children, what harm can they do?' Odin ignored her and cast Loki's eldest son out into the sea to seek his fortune as the Midgard Serpent. He gave Hela the lands of Helheim and rulership over the dead of the nine worlds, for none would marry her. Giving her no escort or gifts to recognize her rulership, he casted her down into that dark place.

Loki and Angboda's youngest child was but a pup. The prophecy said that he would grow in terrible size. Few had the courage to foster him. Thus Tyr befriended Fenrir and fostered him. Tyr taught Fenrir many things as he grew in size and cunning. Then it happened one day that the other Aesir came to bind Fenrir. Young as he was, he gave into their words of flattery and broke the two iron chains they loaded him down. Tyr muttered to Fenrir 'Be Cautious. Odin's guile knows as many bounds as your father's."

Then came the dwarven ribbon Glepnir fashioned of impossible things. Fenrir at first refused to continue the 'contest' that Odin had thought up. Finally, he said that he would allow himself to be bound if one were brave enough to put their hand in his mouth as a sign of good faith. Tyr knew it was a trap. Fenrir knew it was a trap. Yet, when Tyr put his hand into Fenrir's mouth, Fenrir's fury boiled over. His wrath at being taken from his mother's warm home to a place where he had to live in the cold and weather nearly blinded him. His fury at his brother casually cast away into the sea and his sister banished to the cold halls of death made his heart hammer.

Fenrir strained and the bonds grew tighter. He glanced at Tyr. For a moment, the fury cleared and there was pity. Then he bit off Tyr's right hand and bolted it down before howling his rage. As the great wolf howled his wrath at his mistreatment, a sword was put between his jaws. He shook his head to try to cast it out but failed. He continued to howl most awfully and the Aesir had an inkling of what folly they had committed. From his jaws, saliva dripped and created the river named Hope.

Long time later, Tyr tired of Odin's behavior. Taking a pair of sheep sheers, he came to Fenrir. He cut the ribbon, for it could not withstand the cutting action of the sheers. He took the sword from Fenrir's mouth. He whispered, "Remember the plan." Tyr then disappeared into the night as all manner of ill began to happen.

- The tale as recounted to me by my mother (There's more to it but none so dramatic as Fenrir's part.)

Gods preserve us from Shopmageddon.

 Dear Reader,

In case you noticed it, the no man's land of Turkey Day has been breeched and winter holiday shopping season has descended complete with musical accompaniment. Samhain has been pushed back into September but it still struggles forth despite the encroachment of Bing Crosby's music. I am retreating into my hermit hole with my knitting and crafting.

Just today, I went to pick up a few things for Turkey Day and it looked like tempers were getting short at the self check out kiosks. The line went all the way into the produce department and was three carts (approximately four people) wide. There were only two cash registers open. With a little luck, I got the one with the small line.

Shopmageddon, also known as Black Friday, looms and it troubles me. If I have errands to run, I don't want to get trampled, nor do I want them to be instantly sold out of the goods I am searching for. I hear you can make a modest shield with a large Tupperware lid and a yoga mat. I don't know if I would need it as it draws close to Yule and everyone goes mad. I should have stocked up on duct tape to make one.

The holiday shopping season, in honesty, is one I hate the most because the focus is moved away from friends and family to stuff. It is a season of greed and excess indulgence. Since getting diabetes, I've become more aware of these things because people don't stop and think about others, except as potential customers or potential show pieces for others to admire their stuff.

This reduction of humanity by the forces that sell us stuff and advertise everything under the sun didn't fully hit me until a few years ago. Some may argue that this focus shift is evidence of a decline in humanity away from the Divine. I would argue this is the evil side of mass marketing, instant fashion, and decadence in what is offered for increasing prices.

May we get through this season when we're all but ordered to go and keep up with the Joneses.

Looking for Book Suggestions: Topic - Ethical Heathenry

 Dear Reader,

If you would be so kind, I am on the hunt for books that talk about ethics from the Heathen perspective. I'd prefer if it wasn't something like a pamphlet on the Nine Noble Virtues. That looks reasonable on the surface but you dig a little deeper and you find some ugliness there. It still creeps me out that the way my parents raised me lines up almost completely with them.

I'm positive there are more to Heathen ethics and I have a couple of young men who are attempting to get ready to make their way through the world in the next few years. I have copies of the writings of Marcus Aurelianus. I actually have a significant amount about Hellenic ethics. I am hoping that there's modern texts that dive into the same waters that I can hand them to read (because they only want me to tell the old stories to them).

So, if you fine people can help out that would be amazing. My Google-Fu is not as awesome as I wish it was. Also, why on earth do the nazi-tru apologists always pop up as experts on search engines? I almost got fooled by Galina Krasskrova. Then I saw through her smoke screen.

A prayer for peace

Dear Reader,

I am calling out to an unusual quartet of janyati in this prayer.  I call to Sai Sushuri in her role as the harbinger of Déa's love and peace. I call to Sai Thamë in her role as adjudicatrix of that which is in accord with celestial harmony and peace bearer through celestial harmony. I call to Sai Rhavë as the psychopomp and companion of the dead as they journey to their place of rest and healing (not necessarily Avala, for there are many such places). And, finally, I call to Sai Kala to bring a good, clean death to those who must die. 

Dear Sai Sushuri, gentle dove of peace, I call to you.
Holy Harbinger of Our Lady's peace, I beg that you come into the war torn places of this world. Lead them away from the evils of war and to the sweetness of peace and mutual respect.

Dear Sai Thamë, wise songbird of harmony, I call to you.
Holy Peace-Bearer of the Celestial harmony, I beg that you come into the war torn places of tis world. Lead them away from the chaos of war and to the peace of concord and good will.

Dear Sai Rhave, steadfast pelican of necessity, I call to you.
Holy Psychopomp and companion of the soul on their journey to the next world, I beg that you will bear the lost and mournful dead of these war zones to a place of comfort and rest before their next turn upon the Wheel.

Dear Sai Kala, mighty raven of death, I call to you.
Holy One who severs the life thread of this mortal coil, grant, I beg, they who are doomed to die a clean death that does not scar their soul with grief of fear. 

For Love's sake, thus may it be.

No Video Post this Week

 Dear Reader,

As you may have noticed, I didn't post a video yesterday. I'm marching into migraine territory with this wonky weather and just didn't have the spoons. I am also trying to work around how Microsoft nerfed a number of features on my camera with a recent update. The video quality looks like it is from the 1990s-2000s. Some nostalgia there but not enough to make me happy. If they keep nullifying features that make their product easier to use in favor of forcing everyone to move their data to the cloud, I may get a different brand of computer. But that is a rant for another day and another blog.

I will do my best in the midst of the chaos of turkey day to get a short video up next week.

Devotional art: Prayer as a physical object.

Dear Reader,

You may have heard of prayer shawls and prayer cloths/squares. They capture the intentions of the maker(s) with every stitch and call down the blessing of the Divine upon the recipients. Another example of this is the preemie hats that I make (funded by your purchase of the Clear Recital: Children of Déa Version, we're up to 594 hats since initial publication! Great work, everybody!). Into each preemie hat goes prayers and intentions for them to grow up healthy and strong. I also invoke the blessing of Déa over the children who receive the hats for them and their families to have good fortune.

Prayer items, like rosaries, not only are made with prayers in mind but also with them recited as each bead is added. This increases the potency of their use and can give comfort and blessings to the recipient. Prayer items are touch stones that guide us closer to the Divine and helps us draw strength, comfort, and transpersonal love for the world from that holy presence. They bless the maker and the recipient in equal measure.

Progress Report: New Revisions of Books & Why Prices Climbed Upward.

 Dear Reader,

The work on new revisions to my books is stalled. Part of this is because I had pneumonia for two months, then a month of arm problems (bursitis is uncomfortable, y'all.), followed by the crafting season hit me like a freight train. Once I get past Yule, I will resume working on revisions to my books.

If you go to Amazon, you may find that some of my books are missing and the prices on those that are not have gone up by approximately $5.00. This is not to garner more profit off of these books. It is because Amazon's publishing side (Kindle Direct Publishing or KDP) has raised rates due to their publishing house raising rates citing workforce issues and supply problems. The books that are missing were deemed by the algorithm unfit for what KDP wanted to offer to customers. To say the least I am mightily vexed.

The next revisions are going to be published through a different indie publisher. I have heard that Lulu is under new management and have resolved many of the issues that caused me to step away. I am investigating this. If I can go back to Lulu and resume publishing through them, I will. If I have to go another route for publishing, I'll inform you with another update on this project.

A Year with Déa is going to go through a major overhaul. I wanted to warn you of this because the second version will be discussing things like Covid and world crises. The world has changed from when the first version came out and I'd like to update it so that it is still useful to readers in the chaos of today. Another book going through major revisions is going to be the Clear Recital: Children of Déa Version. There has been requests for changes in formatting and such. I'm going to do my best to accommodate all of them. The team that I worked with on the first revision of the Clear Recital: CDV has all become involved with their own projects. I'm still deeply thankful for their help and I'm hoping that the revisions will clarify our work rather than muddy the waters.

Progress Report: Embroidered casting cloth

 Dear Reader,

Remember how I said the project room eats everything. It's like a purse. A small black hole that takes in the ton of stuff you give it and then will randomly dump everything on the floor. I found this casting cloth that I had drawn out the design for embroidery in 2017. It was at the bottom of a bag of books. How it got there, I have no idea. I wasn't even looking for it, for I had forgotten about this project. And then poof it appeared and I said to myself "Hey, I know what that is!"

Advice on Necromancy.

 Dear Reader,

If you work with the spirits of the dead, take what they say with a grain of salt. Especially advice on major life events. After all, they're dead for a reason. Yes, it is possible it was natural causes and they are truly as wise as they seem. It is equally possible that they died from misadventure and doing foolish things. Remember the dead are as wide ranging in personalities and motivations as we, the living.

Progress Report: Making my own Dream Oracle Deck.

 Dear Reader,

I wish I could say that this project is complete since I announced it last year. Unfortunately, it is not. The initial set of cards have gone missing, much to my frustration. I haven't had time to re-draw them because I've been busy with health related problems most of this year. When I wasn't sick, I was attempting to clean house because it turns into a disaster when I'm not well and staying on top of the cleaning. (Ah, teenagers, they stack dirty dishes instead of washing them.)

I haven't begun my notations on the meaning or how to work with the cards because the cards are missing in action since July. I am really hoping that they didn't get accidentally thrown away. If I had enough random magazines, I would like to collage the cards along the themes they represent but I am not going to cannibalize my crochet magazines because there are patterns in there that I still want to make.

I just haven't had the time to poke my head in at the library to ask if they have a pile of old magazines that they want to discard. So, when I finally do find the cards, I suspect I'll be making abstract backgrounds to go with the glyph on each card.

Speaking of dreams, my dreams of late have been influenced by the news and my past trauma. On top of that anxiety inducing bit of fun, I have been diagnosed with sleep apnea which could explain some of the nightmares as well. Faceless people trying to kill you is not a pleasant dream, trust me.

Do You Have a Cauldron?

 Dear Reader,

Perhaps the most iconic symbol of witchcraft is the cauldron. In them (if the entertainment industry is to be believed), nefarious potions, brews, and curses are created. (Thanks, Shakespeare.) In truth, the cauldron is the big cooking pot of the era that the Burning Times was going on. If you have a big pot you use to make pasta once a week and your family and friends' moods are improved, congratulations you have a cauldron and done a wee bit of food magic to help ease everybody's stress.

There was this big push in the 1990s that to be a witch you needed to have a cast iron cauldron. With no education on how to season cast iron or care for it. This coupled with the cauldron was big enough to hold a mere 1 cup of water really made it an ineffective tool. I own a couple of these vintage cauldrons. They've been used to hold incense as it burns on a bed of sand. They're not large enough to hang over a tea light, let alone a fire. These miniature cauldrons really should be considered decorations.

My real cauldron is my soup pot. It is one I picked up at a camping supply store down at the southern end of the state while I was living there. Every meal I made in it, there was magical intent going into the recipe and the choice of ingredients. It isn't the traditional cast iron but with my bad back, picking up a cast iron soup pot or dutch oven can be a challenge on bad days. It's made from steel and has a blue and white speckled pattern over it. I find it charming and it makes me smile when I bust it out for use.

Practical Witchcraft: Dirt Poor Witchcraft - Stealth Altars and Shrines.

 Dear Reader,

Sometimes we find ourselves in places hostile to our religion. And yet we wish to have an icon and a small place set aside for worship. Being a bit crafty you can create everything from a portable altar to a portable shrine (as I have pictured here devoted to Freyr-Ingvi).

I'm not a big fan of stealth altars and shrines but I recognize the necessity of them and I have used them in the past when it was necessary. Candy tins and diminutive boxes are excellent tools for this sort of project. With a little craft paper, you can line the inside of the box with designs you associate with the deity or spirit in question. ModPodge is a popular adhesive used for these projects but I find it dries to fast for me to position things just right. Arleen's Craft Glue is less expensive and has just about the same versatility as ModPodge. If you're looking for a serious business method of securing things in the box, don't go with super glue because it may destroy your project. Use judicious amounts of hot glue.

Some people want to have an icon in their shrine/altar box. String dolls are an excellent way and sometimes you accidentally capture the essence of traditional figures of the deity or spirit in question. That penis shaped portion of the string doll of Freyr was entirely unintentional. I still don't know how it appeared. The choice of yarn color for the string doll was based on what I had at hand. You can be guided by traditional correspondences or your personal associations for color if you have the luxury of a range of colors available.

The most important part of a stealth shrine or altar is making sure that it can close discreetly, fit where ever you need it, and that you have all your supplies for it inside, neatly tucked away so it will close.

Divination: The Tarot Deck as the Fool's Journey to Enlightenment.

 Dear Reader,

Some of you may have heard of the Tarot Deck as a pictorial story of the Fool's journey to Enlightenment. There are cycles within cycles here. The Major Arcana give the clearest pictorial story. The division of the suits, in their own spheres of influence, repeat the story. Joseph Campbell, world famous student and author regarding mythology, holds up the story of the Tarot Deck as an example of the Hero's Journey.

I can not go over the entire cycle of the Fool's Journey. It is not because I am not versed in it but because my current migraine is making typing difficult. A rough summary that I can give you is that the Fool starts out on their journey to make their fortune in the world. They encounter various figures that give them support and that gives them challenges to encourage them to grow to the next step in the journey. 

Eventually, the Fool realizes that this journey is more than a trip to seek fortune and possible fame, but a journey to find their authentic self. Like all journeys there are setbacks and delays. And like all journeys there is good fortune and finding secret ways forward. And in the end, the Fool finds they had all that they needed all along and the cycle begins again as the Fool goes looking for something new.

Practical Witchcraft: Dirt Poor Witchcraft - Do you really need a Book of Shadows?

Dear Reader,

I am dipping a toe into some interesting waters with this post. Many occultists and witches are of the opinion that a Book of Shadows (referred hence forth as BoS) is a vital part of the practice. There are conflicting historical records about the use of a BoS during the period known colloquially as the Burning Times. In my efforts to pin down something accurately reflecting what a witch had to work with in that time period, the closest thing that one would have to what in modern times is considered a BoS is a cookbook. And that would be if the witch in question was lucky enough to own a book and have the ability to read. Many of the people persecuted for witchcraft during the Burning Times were either political targets or impoverished people who had some eccentric traits that their neighbors decided were signs of the "Devil". *

Based upon this finding, and let me tell you it took years of research with the assistance of others to come to this conclusion, you do not need a BoS. If you wish to keep a record of your workings, research, and rituals, a BoS is handy but it does not need to be some great leather bound tome with sigils burned into the cover as portrayed by theater and the entertainment industry. It can be a plain notebook that you write in with your favorite pen, for it is like a journal of sorts. Or, you can have a digital document that you keep your records in. If that doesn't work for you, it is easy enough with today's technology to make an audio recording. (Harken thee back to ye old 1990s for the ancient cassette tape, it's still on the market and super cheap.)

Some figures in history come down to us with fancy BoS called Grimoires. These were wealthy people of high status and usually some form of high society patronage. As the middle class grew, the "secret arts" became more accessible because they could afford to consult these individuals. This was mostly after the Burning Times. Today, a casual search on the internet can find you information that these historical figures like John Dee and such had in their libraries.

Returning to the topic of the storied BoS, you only need one if it helps you keep your information organized. If all you need is a pile of index cards, go for it. There are no rules on how to keep a BoS. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

* Regarding the Burning Times, I'll be doing a post soon about my research and my findings.  

Working Magic In Stitches

 Dear Reader,

As any crafter can tell you, what they do is a labor of love and a work of art. Even the kiddie artwork with the googly eyes counts because they put their heart into it and worked hard. When you start looking at old fashioned crafts (i.e. knitting, crochet, needlework, weaving, etc.), you can discover a world of folklore surrounding these crafts and myths featuring them. Careful examination of the folklore and mythos behind these crafts reveals that they are not mere past times to wittle away idle time. You will discover there is true magic hidden there.

Some of the modern folklore seems odd but unerringly true. Consider the tale of the 'Boyfriend Sweater'. A young knitter is utterly smitten with their boyfriend and decides to make them a love gift of a sweater. After many hours of tiresome and at time tedious work, the sweater is done. The knitter presents their gift to their beloved only to discover that their boyfriend's response is tepid and they never wear the sweater. Eventually, the couple parts, for our young knitter realizes that the boyfriend didn't truly appreciate them or their effort. Many knitters can tell a story like this of people disregarding their handwork in favor of mass produced goods.

There is the folk-wisdom of weaving a strand of your hair into a garment for a person will bind them to you as long as they own the garment. I've yet to hear of this little gem failing.

In ancient times, weavers were considered to have magic powers. Their ability to weave, to tangle, and untangle their work sympathetically effected their people's success on the battlefield and abroad. Spinners were also viewed in this fashion. Indeed, some cultures regarded spinners highly and with great caution because through their work they could influence one's fate.

Those who could sew (and by extension do embroidery and other forms of needlework) could bind or unbind people. They could fashion intricate sigils and spells of protection with the designs they produced. The core element in all of these crafts is not merely the fact that they are fiber arts, but they are highly effective means of casting intention into action. And such deeds could be done openly when more overt ritual practices are opposed by the overculture.

Handwork, traditional crafts, and cooking as a spiritual focus.

 Dear Reader,

As one looks around, they find that in the pagan religions there is a push to go back to the land, revive traditional crafts, and engage in artful expressions of beauty that are found in heritage crafts (in some cases requiring a bit of archeological study and experimentation to figure out how our ancestors did it). This push is also present in Filianism and Déanism, though it is more of an unspoken undercurrent.

Engaging in heritage crafts and practices (i.e. making a crochet bedspread or cooking old family recipes) does a number of things. Firstly, they keep these things 'alive' and the knowledge of how to survive in hard times is hidden in these seeds of hobbies that people engage in. Preserving food is not an easy craft to master, but it has become quite popular. You need not be a modern day homesteader or a 'prepper' to do these things. In the case of preserving food, not only can you adjust batch size with a little math, there are many books and resources about how to do it safely. As such, you can give truly unique, homemade gifts to friends and family, some that may not have been seen since your grandparents or great-grandparent's era. Such a gift is a direct link to your ancestors and they will be delighted to see you reviving the skills they used out of necessity and making beloved recipes.

I propose that in the Filianic and Déanic community, we share our successes and mishaps in our effort to revive heritage skills. Not only are we sharing knowledge and growing together in our ability to be successful in this, we can prove witness to the goodness that was present in the past and carry it forward into the future.

As a spiritual focus, heritage crafts tie us to a long line of ancestors and innovators that made life easier to bear during hard times and allows us to focus on the gratitude of the convenience of the modern day. As a spiritual focus, we learn patience, forbearance, and the value of our efforts in all areas. These heritage crafts are a gift from our ancestors and Déa to engage with them and keep their memory alive in this world. 

The devotional Scripture embroidery project is complete!

 Dear Reader,

This embroidery project was a great way to meditate on the meaning of the quote. It also did a wonderful job of helping me keep my temper when my sons were stressing me out. On my Tumblr post, I described all the stitches and the thread I used. I will spare you that level of detail. 

I believe this will be the first in a series of quotes that I will embroider. I have a habit of making samplers. This sort of came out like on with the different stitches used on different areas of the project. I think, however, I will make a legitimate sampler in an antique style for one of my quotes. 

Right now, I am busy working on gifts for Yule/Nativity. I knit so slowly, I worry if I'm going to get my eldest son's sweater done. And then there's the holiday baking to be done for the first time in years. I think I figured out some diabetic friendly cookie recipes.

Divination: Tarot - the Suit of Pentacles/Coins

 Dear Reader, 

Please forgive the lack of images to show you how various decks portray this suit. That box of tarot decks is buried under crafting materials that are in various stages of use to make Yule/Nativity presents. I have a new deck but I want to get to know it before I start posting pictures and commenting on it.

The suit of Pentacles is also known as the suit of Coins. This is in part to attempt to obscure the occult element of the Tarot deck (which originated as an Italian set of playing cards for a game called Tarocchi, which you can find directions for online). It is also the highlight the influence of this suit over the sphere of finances and work. There is, however, much more to this suit.

The suit of Pentacles is also associated with physical aspects of life such as health, strength, and vitality. There are cards within the suit that mirror cards of the Major Arcana. As with all of the suits, for some reason the fifth card of the suit is the nadir of the suit and brings generally poor news. I have tried to understand this and have yet to find anything that explains it. In all of the suits, the fifth card is a card of conflict, disappointment, and regret.

At the opposite end of the spectrum, we have the ten of Pentacles. While many point to the ten of Cups as the card of ultimate success and dream fulfillment, I have seen that the ten of Pentacles much more accurately fills this role. This, however, is a point of debate between different cartomancers. Ask five cartomancers their opinion on any of the cards in the Tarot deck and you will get six answers.

Such a heavy text!

 Dear Reader,

I am on my third read through the entire Opera Omina of the Madrian Order. The text is so densely packed. It makes me think of the two volume set of the Norton Anthology of English. I think they might be comparable in size.

My youngest son picked up the book to move it and said, "Mom, you need to read lighter books."

On this read through, I am taking notes and, dare I say it, making notations in the books as well. I want to give a through analysis of each essay and bit that went into these two tomes. I am thankful that the type font is easy to read. I am grateful for all the work Race put into the layout to make it flow well and be easy on the eyes. That said, holy cow are these big books.

I fear if I dropped them on my foot at the same time, I'd lose a toe.

Ancestor Worship and Animism in Filianism?

 Dear Reader,

Some may consider the memento mori picture to be spooky, gruesome, or scary. Generally, a picture not entirely keeping with the theme of this blog. Honestly, I find it a healthy reminder that this life wanes and another waxes as we grow older (ideally). Many people see the Dark Mother as a mysterious, somewhat intimidating figure, like death, and have a low key fear of Her.

It is the Dark Mother who is present in all things, even the very bones left behind when we expire. We must not fear death for it brings us closer to our ancestors and the very spirits of the world. We transition from a life on one level of existence to another that brings us closer to Avala. We must not fear but rather celebrate the rebirth that comes with death. We should share joyfully our memories of the deceased even as we seek consolation in each other's arms for the fact that they are no longer corporeally with us.

Ancestor worship and animism are closely entwined in Filianism. There are spirits all around us. If you work with them, you can accomplish many things and grow to have many allies you can call on when Khear's shadow over falls you. The Helati (saints) and our beloved dead stand as close to you as the Janyati (angels) to guide and protect you from evil. Taking time out of your day to pour out a glass of water for these spiritual beings in offering of kinship, love, and respect is a small act that can reap great rewards. Plants, for example, have spirits variously known as dryads, fairies, and the hidden folk. In honoring them, you honor the Earth itself and encourage these spirits to look favorably on you. Earth spirits, such as those that are associated with plants, are very protective of their chosen location. Your houseplants will defend your home from the forces of evil that try to get in just as effectively, if not more so, than a spell for home defense. And they will help you along your path to Avala and Our Lady's blessed presence.

Blessed Samhain & Tamala

 Dear Reader,

I'd have posted these sentiments yesterday but it was a day of errands and a trip to Urgent Care for myself. I didn't even get a chance to sit down at the desk until it was the end of the day. I didn't have the spoons to write an entry into my daily journal. It was exhausting and painful yesterday. Apparently I have bursitis in my right shoulder, which happens to be my dominant arm. It's making things awkward.

Now, why do I bring up bursitis? Because my late Grandfather has been around today reminding me not to push myself too hard, to ice my shoulder, to apply heat, and, most of all, to move things farther than it is comfortable. He has bursitis a couple of times and bone spurs in his shoulders. He's warned me that once you have one bout of bursitis you're at risk for future ones. I didn't like hearing that, but Grandpa has always been honest and plain about the truth.

Samhain and Tamala is the time of year that the dead draw closest to us. It is not only our recently deceased loved ones that call out to us. Our great ancestors do so as well. Those who are our ancestors by way of our blood line, by way of our educational history, and by way of our spiritual heritage all call out to us words of greeting and love. They call to us encouragement to live boldly and with joy. And, sometimes they drop some wisdom into our laps as well.

Hijabis for Peace?

Dear Reader,

Back when the war in Ukraine started, this meme went around - Babushkas for Ukraine. It's rather waned as that war has dragged on. I try to remember to do it but it's kinda hard when you have a lot of distractions.

I propose we bring that back. Maybe we pick a day that we do this tribute/protest action. And once a week, we wear that babushka in defiance of the apathy that has risen up in the face of a war that has not ended quickly.

In the light of the military action in Gaza, I additionally propose that people who cover their head wear the hijab for peace. This idea hit me today as I was trying to figure out what to wear to cover my head for my pictures on Instagram. (You can find me over there as cydira13)

The day I propose the Filianic and Déanic community who cover their heads to do this is the day of Sai Thamë. She is a Janya of peace and harmony. I would consider wearing the hijab that day as a silent prayer that Sai Thamë intervenes in the world's conflicts and bring peace among all people. If you wish, as you cover, pray for a special focus on specific regions of conflict (i.e. Gaza or Ukraine).
 

Divination: Tarot - Suit of Cups

 Dear Reader,

The suit of cups is associated with the suit of hearts in the standard pack of playing cards. (Plot twist, or not, the standard pack of playing cards used today is based on the minor arcana of the Tarot deck.) The suit of cups deal with emotion and relationships. They have their own famous cards in the suit.

• Two of Cups: Associated with love and the major arcana card of The Lovers
• Five of Cups: Associated with misfortunate, miscommunication, and breakups
• Ten of Cups: The Wish Card, associated with happy life, strong and healthy relationships, and accomplishing dreams

I apologize that I can not post a picture of cup cards from various decks I own. The room I keep my collection in is a disaster.

As you may have seen on Tumblr, I am quite ill.

Dear Reader,

I am quite ill between the pneumonia that has been lasting since, well, I think it was the last week of August I was diagnosed. I've been on three courses of antibiotics. It has been unpleasant because I am exhausted on top of the preexisting sleep problems that have been going on for nearly two years. It is currently 4:21 in the afternoon here and I will need to start working on dinner soon. I have no desire to do anything but sleep. My chest aches but I have had at no point in time since I was diagnosed has an urge to cough. This is deeply concerning because it's pneumonia, you're supposed to cough that gunk out of your chest so you can breathe.

I am trying to kick start my writing mojo back into action but it is really hard to write when you are unconscious. I have been sleeping a good deal of the day. Chores are starting to stack up again. It's rough. Next week, I will be speaking with a sleep specialist about the results of the sleep study and finding out if there's anything they can do about that problem. I will also be talking to my family doctor about this pneumonia business. I am really hoping that we don't have to take the next step and admit me to the hospital to figure this out. I have things to do and kids to mind.

I am doing my best not to worry but it is difficult when you've been sick for approximately two months.

Too many tarot decks? Naw, not enough shelves!

 Dear Reader,

My collection of tarot decks has invaded the living room. I have a box that I keep them in but it is so full it can't close. (For a former box to hold Legos, that's kinda impressive.) I look at my bookshelves and find they're filled to the point of bursting. And so a pile of tarot decks rove around the living room like a Roomba searching for dog poop to scatter everywhere. (I swear from what I have heard and seen, those things are on 'seek and destroy' mode with that.)

Some days, I ask myself why I have so many when I only need is one. And then I sit down and start looking at the artwork. They're all lovely decks for so many artistic reasons. I will peruse the internet to look at the art styles that are popular in current decks. Next thing you know, I have acquired one more deck for the pile. Some would say I have a problem with hording tarot decks. Others would say that I am curating an artistic legacy. All I know is that I love these cards and I need a better storage solution than an old Lego box. I'm considering a rolling cart with drawers. I think I could fill up a small one. If I do that, Beloved is going to laugh at me. But, then I won't have tarot decks everywhere.

Prompt No. 1: The Hardest Part of Faith

 Hello Friends,

Since I have been really struggling to write anything, I've gone to my trusty prompt box and I'm going to work through some prompts until the well fills up with ideas again. Update, for all y'all, I still am sick with walking pneumonia and having a terrible time sleeping. I have a feeling I will be getting poked and prodded at my next doctor's appointment. It is a double whammy of a pneumonia follow up and a diabetes follow up. I'm not terribly optimistic. Ironically, this leads into the prompt for today: What is the hardest part of faith?

The hardest part of faith for me is when the fallow periods hit. It seems like I have been utterly abandoned by my spiritual companions and forgotten by the gods. It hits me when I am in deep depression, which just makes it worse. I tell myself patience and continuing to pray will get me through it, but some of those prayers sound like me asking them if I should unalive myself because of how pathetic of a creature I am. That's really hard. 

Conflating depression induced headblindness (the inability to perceive the Divine in anything) with depression induced suicidal ideation is awful. I don't get mopey, I just sit there numb and question why I was born and if there was a reason for all the hideous abuse I suffered when I was younger. I sit there with those sad, lonely, awful thoughts for a long while and then my need to survive and keep moving kicks in and I am doing things slowly and in fits and spurts, but I start to claw my way up out of the depression. 

About when I clear the depressive episodes, I realize that they were all there and watching me the whole time. I wasn't alone spiritually, I just felt that way because my sickness was interfering with everything in my life.

The Catholic Saint John of the Cross called this type of experience the Dark Night of the Soul. It comes to everyone of faith at some point in their lives. Some of us get to ride that awful merry-go-round a few times a year. It is a terrible ride. I do not recommend it. -2567/10

Practical Witchcraft: Dirt Poor Witchcraft - Offerings

 Dear Reader,

Offerings are a big deal. They are part of the glue that keeps the relationship between you and the spiritual beings in your life chugging along. There's a lot of competition between folks who post pics of their altars as to who is giving the best offerings and such. There is also a great deal of unverified personal gnosis that is flying around the community as to who likes what offerings and dislikes what other offerings. Don't let all of this talk discourage you.

While offerings are a big deal, they don't have to be expensive, brand name, or luxurious. They can be simple, humble, and as mundane as a shiny stone you saw that reminded you of Them. One of the most common offerings when one is on a tight budget is water. Some may scoff at water being an appropriate offering. For millennia, potable water just couldn't be had. This is why so many ancient cultures brewed up things like beer, mead, and wine. Yes, there was alcohol but the alcohol in it was what made the water safe to drink.

Your Mesopotamian spirit friend may be quite bored with beer, as it was their everyday beverage. Giving a glass of clean water would be a delightful change of pace for them. Offering common modern beverages is also an option. Popular rumor has it that Loki enjoys an occasional bit of Mountain Dew. It doesn't have to be a special wine glass or something you inherited from your great grandmother's china to serve it in. It can be in a mini-plastic cup (they're basically shot glasses but don't call 'em that).

Breads of many forms are staples of offerings. This doesn't have to be the case. You can put out some cookies, bake some biscuits, or make an extra serving of oatmeal in the morning. Indeed, you can put a small portion of your meal aside for Them. Don't go too far and sacrifice your health in order to express you affection and devotion. Your spiritual companions want to see you doing well and as healthy as you can be. This leads to a third option in giving food or drink. Dedicate your first bite/sip to your spiritual companions. For people who come from a Christian background, this may be a bit awkward at first. 

If you have been raised in a custom where you ask the Divine to bless your meal, you can compose a blessing dedicating the meal to your spiritual companions to be said (whispered or thought) over the meal before you eat.

Divination: Tarot: Suit of Rods

 Left to Right: Kawaii Tarot, Holographic Rider-Waite Tarot
and the Celestial Tarot

 There are many ways to portray the suit of Rods (also known as wands). They are related to the suit of Swords but not interchangeable. Many associate the suit of Rods as an elemental Fire suit and read it as I read the suit of Swords. As you can tell from the image to the right, every tarot deck out there has their own way of portraying the suit of Rods.

As a green flourishing stem or the star topped image of the traditional magic wand, this suit is generally benevolent in nature and tend to speak of matters of work, travel, and striving for better things in life.

This suit, I associate with Air. As such, there are many cards in the suit that reflect communication. Inverted, the Rods are not as dire portents as the Swords, but like the Swords it is full of warnings of danger, miscommunication, and ill fortune.

Ugh.

 Dear Reader,

Life offline has become a complicated mess again. The school messed up one son's schedule in a horrific fashion. He is literally talking about dropping out of school if he is forced to participate in one of the alternative educational programs. He had a lot of difficulty in that program because of the unstructured classroom environment. As such, he has decided that if he must go back into that learning environment, he is simply going to leave and do his best to get his GED. This is a really big deal and stressing him and us out.

The other son is not quite having panic attacks about the idea of the bullies that harassed him all through middle school having co-conspirators in the high school to harass him there as well. Also, his IEP got messed up and we're trying to fix it. And did I mention we made the horrific discovery that neither young man is at grade level for their mathematics and we suspect other subjects got glossed over. It's been a bit of a nightmare over here trying to fix this mess and getting the kids to talk about their concerns with their therapists.

Gods help me, my hair is going to be white by the end of this fiasco. 

Video Post: An Update and some rambling: Did the Dark Queen Cause All Suffering?

 

Dear Reader,

I apologize for the blurriness of the video, a lot of light behind me and some stuff on the lens doesn't make for a great picture. I open this video with an explanation and an apology why I've been away for so long. It's been a rough year between my bipolar type 2 acting up and my seasonal affective disorder kicking me in the teeth roughly around a week after the solstice last year. I'm doing a bit better now, but it's utter chaos trying to pick up all the threads laying around and get the kids ready for school. Also, I have forgotten how to do algebra which is making tutoring my eldest son a nightmare. Between the two of us, I can't multiply with out a calculator and he can't divide with out one. It's been rough going.

I've been visiting with the local Jehovah's Witnesses for a little while. The gave me a tract and shared with me a video that presented the claim that the fall of the angels was due to Satan's questioning Jehovah about the possibility of a perfectly good world. And, as per their tract and video, the Jehovah's Witnesses argue that all suffering in this world is due to Satan, who has command of it.

This got me to thinking about the Dark Queen and her relationship to the world and suffering. I am of a position that suffering is a natural consequence of being in this world. It's not a punishment or the result of a sadistic anti-demiurge wanting to torture all of existence. The Dark Queen and her servants can cause mischief, mayhem, and misery but they are not the reason why I have bipolar type 2 or that my nieces have it as well. That's just flawed genetics which arises from being in an imperfect world.

The Dark Queen's power is diminished by the Daughter's Sacrifice and the Mother's Rescuing of her Daughter. The servants are as mist on the wind. They can give us a spiritual chill and make illusions dance before us in that mist, but they are powerless over us. Temptation to despair and give up hope are ultimately empty words from the Dark Queen's servants, no matter how beguiling they sound. Because in the end, they are forced to pass away from us and we see the light of Déa shining through the mist, banishing it to the place it arose from.

I humbly ask your patience.

 Dear Reader,

Over the last week, things have become challenging. My efforts to draft entries and similar bits for this blog have been falling to pieces because I am functioning on not enough sleep due to chronic nightmares because I'm coming up on a big trauma anniversary date. Well, a string of them. Complex Post Traumatic Disorder is really hard to deal with and remain functional. I'll keep trying and eventually, we'll get past this rocky period.

At some point, I may even tell you the story of what caused this trauma that makes writing difficult. For now, I ask for your patience as I work through this mess.

Practical Witchcraft: Dirt Poor Witchcraft - Herbs, Spices, and Leaves?

 Dear Reader,

It's hard to keep up with the witchy neighbors who have the luxury of a full apothecary, garden, and an on-line subscription to the ritzy places that sell every spell component you could use plus a few you really shouldn't. If you are like me, you try to keep a garden but the neighbors keep pulling flowers, dumping cigarette butts in it, and throwing garbage into the deeper foliage. Also, if you are like me, you have a limited capacity for indoor plants, with one specific plant trying to conquer the world no matter how many cuttings you give away.

It gets frustrating when you read a spell that calls for exotic things like frankincense. While bay leaves are relatively less expensive than frankincense, the cost of those bottles of spices add up quickly. Especially if the spice/herb you are using is of limited supply because of all these supply chain issues we've been having since COVID-19 arrived on the scene. 

For example, prior to COVID-19's impact on the worldwide supply chain, I was using Turkish Rosewater (which was a bit expensive but less expensive than other brands) as an offering to Déa. Now, I haven't been able to find it anywhere for the last two years. I don't know if it will be back in stock or not. I attempted to cultivate some roses and make rosewater with it but it failed horribly. As such, I am replacing the rosewater offering with plain, clean drinking water.

When it comes to spices and herbs that spells have required, I have been watching the prices go up. As such, I turn my attention to the plants in my area and what information the herbals I have gives me about their traits. Bay leaves are starting to get a bit pricey in my neck of the woods, but I found an alternative that is not toxic if you burn it. Willow leaves. They're just long enough to write a word or a small sigil on them. You can't exactly add them to recipes. But you can make sachets with them and use them in place of bay leaf. And willow is a gentle, healing tree that can be used for healing magic and helping one to sleep.

One thing that you should be careful of in foraging for spell components is that you are not getting mixed up with poisonous plants, like poison ivy, poison oak, or hogweed. These are three plants you do not want to come into contact with, especially the hogweed. And you most definitely do not want to burn them, because the smoke is just as toxic as the oils in the leaves if not more so. Also, check your plants closely because hemlock (which is an invasive plant in my region) looks virtually identical to wild carrot. The difference between the pair is subtle. A pictorial guide to your local flora and fauna is a very wise thing to take with you when you are foraging. Investing in books like this are a worthy thing to do, and just as 'witchy' as buying herbals. It keeps you from poisoning yourself or others. It gives you something to look at and compare with what is in front of you. And it helps you become more proficient in herbalism and herb magic by deepening your awareness of the plants you are working with. 

Divination: Tarot: Suit of Swords

 Dear Reader,

The suit of swords is the one that is most frequently misrepresented in popular culture and media. People assume that the swords mean death, disaster, and destruction because they are weapons of war. While this suit has a higher likelihood of having those connotations, they can also speak of courage, cunning, and overcoming seemingly insurmountable obstacles. The trick in reading the card 'right' is understanding it's placement in a pattern (i.e. the Celtic Cross) and it's relationship to the surrounding cards and the querent.

There is some disagreement as to what Elemental force this suit is aligned with. Many people say it is the Element of Air. Others say it is the Element of Fire. I personally was trained to associate it with the Element of Fire on the basis that swords are formed out of metal worked in fire. There are ancient kennings in various languages describing the wounds created by a sword as fiery. As such, it seems most logical to me that the suit of swords are associated with fire.

Divination: Tarot - The Minor Arcana & The Suits

 Dear Reader,

After some careful consideration, I looked at my pile of tarot decks and decided that we were going to take a stroll through the minor arcana and the suits. I know that there is a lot you can pull out of these cards. Simply using the minor arcana alone (or a regular pack of playing cards) you can do a full tarot reading.

Much of what I am going to present here is going to be my basic interpretation of these cards and how they relate to each other. There are some cards that have ties to the Major Arcana, we will be exploring those too. Where most of my reading is intuitive, I do have a standard set of meanings that I work with as a base for my intuitive style. And they're a bit different from the 'standard' meanings as defined in the Rider-Waite decks.

Next week, we will start with the suits. You can condense an entire deck of tarot cards down to a single suit to do a reading. It has it's challenges but it is possible to be done. That, however, is something we are going to discuss later in the series of posts (I'll be going over different tarot spreads and how to draw information effectively from them. It'll be in a series of posts after we wander along through the suits and the minor arcana. Good things to look forward to!)

My First Question that the Opera Omnia couldn't answer.

 Dear Reader,

I have spent months reading, researching, and attempting to make sense of a single line from the teaching in the Clear Recital : The Three Loves. I have discovered this teaching is missing from the Gospel of Our Mother God. I have found that it is present in all other versions of the Clear Recital, including the one I was head editor on. At the time I was working on the Children of Déa version of the Clear Recital, I was focused on improving language and format. I and my team did our very best to include as much of our research into the book. 

One can imagine my surprise as I was reading the CDV's version of the Three Loves and I came upon this line.

And rightfully it has been said that your soul shall be placed in the balance against a feather, and if the beam tip even by a fraction are you condemned. CDV: The Three Loves, Verse46; Page 104, lines 4-8

I immediately sought my other copies of the Clear Recital. Word for word, this line was present in each copy except for the Gospel of Our Mother God. I then turned to the Opera Omina for some form of exposition upon this line. I found nothing to help me interpret it in either volume. This was a large disappointment. I then began looking through the digital library of the Society for Filianic Studies via the Wayback Machine internet archive. I found a great deal of discourse about politics but little about theology and nothing to clarify this line.

Thus I was forced to sit in contemplation and try to puzzle out the answer to the questions that arose from this line. These questions are:

1. Who places our souls in this scale?
   
2. Which direction of the beam tipping are we facing damnation?
   
3. Who judges this scale?
   
4. How does this condemnation/damnation effect our eternal rescue from Khear by the Daughter?

I have thought long and hard on these questions. I chose the word damnation in this post because, to be honest it is a very functional synonym for what is expressed here. I have no answers for these questions. I have prayed over this line for many days and all I find is a sloppy connection to ancient Egyptian mythos and the weighing of the heart. The feather belongs to Maat, the goddess of justice. Anubis, the god of the dead presided over the weighing. And Thoth recorded the results. If the heart was filled with good the scales would be equal. If the heart was filled with evil, the scale would tip towards the heart. And the soul would be given to Ammut, who would eat them, for they were not the blessed (good) dead who would go to live with Osiris in paradise.

This requires deeper thought and raises more questions. Like why did the foremothers of the faith choose this connection when there had already been an established system for what happens when you die.

The Opera Omnia wasn't as helpful as I had hoped.

 Dear Reader,

I chewed my way through the Opera Omina (both books) and came up with more questions than answers. Isn't it maddening when you sit down with source material and not only can't you find explanation of material in the other primary work you're reading but a laundry list of other questions pop up. In comparing the Opera Omnia to the Clear Recital (ECE edition because it is the most popular), I couldn't find clarification of a number of things that bothered me about some passages in the Clear Recital. I couldn't help but come to the conclusion that Filianism/Déanism have an incomplete theology. Honestly, the deeper I read into it, the more I find unclear where it is said to be simple.

I know some find satisfaction in the fact that there are deeper mysteries that can not be fully comprehended. But when a statement is presented as fact and there is no follow up or exposition to explain that fact, I'm left wondering what is missing, where do I find it, and how do I present it to prevent the confusion of others. I can't help a measure of grief that much of the sacred knowledge is hidden or lost. We have a portion of the wisdom of the elders and this grieves me, for I see a time coming that we shall have need of it.

Incapacitating Migraines can be Odd.

 Dear Reader,

I now understand the theory that Hildegarde von Bingen had ocular migraines and this was the root of her visions. I have ocular migraines. The aura symptoms for me include pain, food cravings, and my vision going blurry/foggy in my right eye. I usually have to take my medicine and go lay down in a dark room for a few hours. This time the migraine lasted three days. With my eyes closed, I saw colors and wavy lines. It was odd.

When sleep finally came, my dreams were vivid in color and realistic in action. Alas, they were nightmares of past trauma. As I woke up, on day two of this fun-fest, I heard a quiet voice telling me that I am strong enough to thole this as I have other pains. Thole is an interesting word from Anglo-Saxon. It means the ability to endure suffering and continue to act. (I am slowly learning Anglo-Saxon. I don't think I'll ever have a comprehensive grasp on it. I started too late and teachers are few.)

I don't know if Hildegarde's visions came during her migraines. I know that mine do not. But sometimes, the symptoms leading up to the migraine include elements that I had seen before in dreams. It's usually right before a pretty bad migraine. Precognitive dreams are funky. You see something happen and you see yourself acting, but it is all as if it is a movie, you have no control over anything despite the hyper realism of the dream. The hyper realism thing usually happens in lucid dreams, which you can control stuff and do things like fly.

My visions hit me like my flashbacks to trauma do. I get a cold sensation in the pit of my gut and suddenly I'm not here anymore. Flashbacks, I can't act or say anything. I can only relive the trauma in full color and all the sensory awfulness that happened. Visions, I can act and I can speak. They last a minute at most, though they were longer when I was younger and not on psychoactive medication to control my flashbacks. But, given Einstein's law of General Relativity, time is relative to the frame of action. Thus that one minute can feel like an hour. And a lot can happen in an hour. 

Searching for answers.

Dear Reader,

I have decided to re-read the Opera Omnia in an effort to answer some questions that have come up in my regular reading of the Clear Recital. I've cross referenced all the editions I have on a number of quotes, there are some variations in how the things that bewilder me are phrased but nothing more to clarify the sections that keep me asking questions.

So, I am going to chew my way through the Opera Omnia again to specifically look for answers to my questions. I suspect that there will be nothing satisfactory. I, however, am in a gloomy mood and Déa will provide guidance.

As I meditate and pray, I will be working on my latest design for embroidery. It is a quote from the Clear Recital (can be found in all versions). I am not satisfied with how my lettering came out so uneven, but writing on fabric is hard. The color I'm using for the lettering is DMC's 798.
 

Divination: Random Thoughts.

 Dear Reader,

This fan is more than an embroidery project. It is a project begun by my late Grandmother and finished by myself. It has a strand of her hair woven into it, though you can not see where it is located. I still have the mount it and frame it, but I finished it Saturday. I could feel my Grandmother's approval and happiness with the way it turned out. The fan is a literal touch stone to her because of her work on it and the hair woven into it.

When you're starting out practicing necromancy, you need those touch stones to help you connect with the person you are attempting to contact. You also need a touch stone to bring you back to the present. They act as compass guides to bring you to where you want to be. The more intimate the touch stone is, the deeper the contact will be and the more you learn. It is the difference between a mass produced prayer card with their picture on it and a favorite pen they used to write letters. One resonates better than the other because it was an active part of their life here.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Practicing divination when your depressed is a crap shoot. Your depression may block or distort the psychic input of the session. If you're getting accurate results, depression's attendant problem, imposter syndrome, may leave you to think that you are just wrong about everything. If you are depressed and trying to do psychic work, be extra gentle on yourself. And get a second or third opinion, just to make sure that you are focusing on psychic input and not the garbage input that depression creates.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

In a little retail therapy a few months back, I picked up this deck. It was made in China. These cards are the most adorable things I've seen in a while. My favorite cards are The Chariot (that cat looks like it's hyper and doesn't care about the rules of the road), the Hanged Man (I can't get over how they took a 'serious' card and made it fun with the character sticking out their tongue at you), and Death (it actually looks friendly and welcoming).

I  am still working on getting the deck properly mixed up. My hands are small and the deck is kinda large.

But that Chariot card, though, utterly hilarious when you think about cats.

Divination: Rune Study - Ehwaz/Eoh

 I apologize for how long it is has been since I posted and that I dropped the ball on the Rune Study. Today we are looking at the rune Ehwaz/Eoh. The first spelling of the rune's name comes from Proto-Germanic reconstruction by a whole heap of linguists trying to figure out just how the ancient runes sounded. The second spelling of the rune's name comes from Old English and Anglo-Saxon.

This rune translates as the word horse. While some readers would say the cognate of this rune in the tarot deck would be the Chariot, I would contend it is the six of wands (frequently depicted with a rider carrying a laurel wreath topped want and surrounded by other who carry similar wands). Horses have famously been described as 'untrustworthy at both ends and uncanny in the middle'. Still if you build a good relationship with a horse and treat them well, you'll have a boon companion for just about your whole life. (Horses can live up to 30 years. I have heard rumors of one living to 50 years, but I can't confirm or deny that one.)

The six of wands shows a victorious rider arriving with all honors. It warns, however, that these honors may vanish and the horse will no longer serve the rider if the rider is not prudent. How, one may ask, does this compare to the only existent Anglo-Saxon rune poem regarding this particular rune.

"The horse is a joy to princes in the presence of warriors.

A steed in the pride of its hoofs,

when rich men on horseback bandy words about it;

and it is ever a source of comfort to the restless."

The source of this translation is the Wikipedia link given at the beginning of the article. Comparing this rune poem to the interpretation of the six of wands, we find focus on the arrival in glory and how the horse is a good help-mate to their rider. If one is inclined to read runes as reversed, they would find the result in many ways identical to the reversed reading of the six of wands. Perhaps this is a cultural memory preserved in both systems recognizing the importance, high status, and wealth indicated by horse ownership in antiquity.