Godphone: Lesson Five - When you're not well.

In the series of lessons on 'godphone', I made a point of saving the most important one for last. There are many in the pagan and related spiritual practices who say that if you start hearing things, you're going through a spiritual awakening or crisis. There is a trend to sweep mental illness under the rug, because mental illness is scary and deemed, somehow, as a way to discredit spiritual experiences. This is a trend that is reckless and irresponsible. It endangers vulnerable people and denies them assistance they need because they are frequently shamed for their experiences.

Some are going to despise me for this, but there is a written record of mystics who have gone through serious mental illness. You can find this extensive record in the writings of various Christian mystics. St. John of the Cross, for example, suffered debilitating depression (and I suspect post-traumatic stress disorder) after being imprisoned upon questionable pretenses due to friction within the Carmelite order during this period. Out of this experience came the luminous poem The Dark Night of the Soul. It was but one of many spiritual and theological writings that he had completed, perhaps the most famous of them. St. Teresa of Avila regularly endured illness and in the midst of these periods of illness had ecstatic spiritual experiences. There is also the books written by St. Thérèse of Lisieux and Dame Julian of Norwich which speak of their spiritual experiences by way of illness. (I recommend the long form of Dame Julian of Norwich's work.)

In the cases of St. Teresa and St. Thérèse, deep anxiety was held over the concept that their spiritual experiences were delusion/temptation from the devil. It was only after a great deal of discussion with their spiritual advisers and the persons who were helping them with their illnesses that it was established that these were not false experiences or fever dreams. The external reality check provided by these third parties were vital to authenticating the experiences of these women, especially in a period of history when the Inquisition was quite busy looking for more victims. (St. Teresa had to seek protection from the Inquisition. The punishment of St. John came out of a conservative sect of the Carmelite order and the Inquisition's activity.)

Hearing voices out of the blue is alarming, if not terrifying. The first thing to do is test the veracity of your experience. While many would claim this is show you lack faith, it is vital to your sanity to confirm or deny the reality of what you are experiencing. It could be as simple as looking away and then back at the vision before you. It could be as simple as holding up a mirror or looking for a reflection on a reflective surface near you. More complex reality testing can be anything from trying to drown out the sound you are hearing with your own thoughts to asking another person if they heard something. You don't have to specify what, it could be as simple as asking if they heard someone call your name.

When it is difficult to distinguish between reality and what is not real, this is when you should consult with a medical professional and a spiritual counselor. The medical professional can assist you in handling what physical illness may be causing these experiences. At times, audio distortion of ambient noise can come off as sounding like a garbled version of someone trying to talk to you all because of an earwax build up, for example. In the event that you are suffering from some form of mental illness, such as hearing people in the room when there are no signs of it and your spiritual counselor is noting signs of mental illness when you are meeting with them, medical assistance can actually make it easier for you to access your spiritual resources. With the right medication, mental clarity can be achieved and genuine mystical experiences will persist and possibly become more profound.

Being unwell can be disorienting and distressing. It can lead to a spiritual crisis or a spiritual awakening. It is, however, separate from spiritual awakening or crisis because it involves the strictly biological processes of your body. Spiritual awakening can be prompted as a coping mechanism, as per St. Thérèse following the death of her mother delving deeply into her devotional relationship with Mary. It can also be a part of how you are processing the experience of being unwell, as in the case of St. Teresa. In either case, follow three steps: observe the experience, reality test the experience, and get a third party opinion. If any manner of spiritual experience causes distress, or occurs in concert with distress, seek out assistance in handling said distress.

Postscript:

I personally have experienced hallucinations and mystic visions. From my experience, they are two different things and involve two different thought processes. Also, the gods find more ways to talk to you than just literally talking to you. Sometimes it is a person turning to you and answering a question you were just thinking about before resuming a conversation with someone else about an entirely different topic. Sometimes it is things mysteriously appearing when you need them or vanishing to a completely different place in your home when it was literally right in front of you before your turned your back. When I am ill and experiencing hallucinations, it gets confusing at times. Thus, I find the deities using other methods to talk to me. (Yes, that has included avatars. And yes, it was creepy and amazing and awe inspiring when it happened. Awe in ALL sense of the word.)