Psychic Life: A Sketch and some Ramblings.

I had this post typed up and then all the text got eaten when I tried to save it. Here is a sketch of Loki that is in progress. It is on 50 lb weight paper. I used mechanical no. 2 pencil and prismacolor pens (brush and .005mm tip). I plan on filling in with colored pencils. I have a box of them in a wide array of colors from a wide array of brands (some going back to the 80s and the company is out of business). I drew this last night after getting frustrated with writing and attempting to be social on the internet. I felt like everything I was doing was going wrong. Loki told me to draw a picture, so I started this. I kinda felt a bit better about the world after that. (Please forgive my youngest's photobomb. He does this every time I go to take a picture.)

Loki and Freyr have been having some serious conversations with me. They revolve around the fact that I am not cured of my depression despite the fact that I'm beginning to feel better. Some of the conversations have been warning me not to place too high of a set of expectations and demands on myself. Some of the conversations have been encouraging me to get back to doing things that I love, like drawing. And there have been a great deal of 'If this doesn't start to get better soon, you really need to bring it up with your doctors.'

My ancestors have also been quite vocal over the last few weeks. They are telling me that I seriously need to get back into practicing magic on an everyday basis, as I did in the past. The argument is that it is going to give the extra push to help change my situation for the better because I'm accomplishing the best I can by pure willpower and mundane means. My familial ancestors have been exhorting me to not give up on improving my health and to continue to focus on things like exercise and stable blood sugar (which they say will help get some more of my bipolar issues under control and make it easier for me to sleep at night).

My spiritual ancestors have been pushing me to finish projects I started years ago and abandoned mostly completed because I was depressed. Mostly, these have been writing projects. some of them, however, are embroidery ones that I completely forgot I had. Embroidery was one of the first connections I felt to my ancestors. It seems fitting that I'm being exhorted to engage in it again as a devotional activity as well as a way to pray my anxiety away.