Alas, still unwell.

 Dear Reader,

I am still working with my care team to get this messed up brain stuff sorted out. It's been slow and painful going. I am finally getting to where I can sleep through most of the night but the nightmares have been wildly out of control. I wake up exhausted because of them. It sucks.

As much as I love blogging, I have been spending more time on pen and paper writing doing my therapy work in an effort to get my head sorted out. Beloved, myself, and my doctor are all pretty sure that there is some manner of trauma memory trying to break through. I'm using the therapy writing in an effort to excavate that memory and deal with it. It's not going well. My emotions are all over the place. Which makes things like parenting hard, especially with two boys going through puberty.

I haven't forgotten this blog. I feel really guilty that I haven't been well enough to post regularly for a while now. My doctor assures me that between the medication and the therapy work that I am doing, I should have my c-ptsd symptoms back under control within a few months. I'll try to log in with periodic updates. They'll probably look like this one, very little good news or possibly some measure of complaint about how my disability is screwing me over.

I thank you for your patience. Right now, things are weird and crunchy. I'm sure that they'll get weirder before they get better. It pretty much always goes this way. I'm sorry, again, that I'm not posting interesting stuff for you and the running themes (like the rune study) are on hold right now. I simply don't have the brain power or energy to be posting as I am spending up to four hours a day on therapy work. It's exhausting and scary. But, if I stick with it, I'll get to the other side of this mess and back to posting better material.