Dear Reader,
This is one of the many faces of depression. Not everyone is going to look as if they're depressed and it's not a performative thing. There are a lot of stereotypes about depression. I could devote an entire post debunking them, but I want to focus on the ones that are problematic for the practitioners of magic and the witchcraft community at large.
(Brief warning, there's going to be some strong language here in parts of this.)
- If you are depressed, it is because you have too much negative energy.
- If you are depressed, you can spread your negative energy to others.
- If you are depressed, you can't do magic.
- If you are depressed, it is a sign that the Divine is not happy with you.
- If you are depressed, it is a sign that your Ancestors are not pleased with you.
- If you are depressed, it is a sign of weakness.
The list goes on and is progressively more repulsive. This is all abelist bullshit and you should ignore the person who is spouting it at you. Especially the one about it being a sign of weakness. Depression happens because of a neurochemical imbalance. Some people are fortunate enough to experience a temporary bout of depression that is relatively mild and can be resolved with sunshine, exercise, and such. More severe depression requires medical intervention. Lots of rumors go around that medical intervention is bad for your magical life. I am living proof that it a crock of shit too.
Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is ask for help. This is a form of 'high' magic. This leads to self-transformation and growth. Suffering and trying to pull yourself up by your boot-straps is a Puritanical bullshit concept that does a ton of damage. You can not will your brain chemistry into working properly. You can not do it through affirmations and crystal therapy alone. When your arm is broken, you do not rub calcite upon it in the hopes that the calcium in it will impart itself into your bones and heal them. You go to a doctor and get the broken bone set so it will heal properly.
The practical, 'old fashioned' or 'mundane' solutions of going to therapy, seeing a psychiatrist, and talking to your general practitioner are no less magical than healing meditations while holding that calcite to evoke healing of your broken arm.
I want to put special emphasis on two things in my parting note here. If you are depressed, the Divine and your Ancestors are not punishing you. If you are suffering from any form of mental or physical illness, this is not an indication that you have some how offended them. Sometimes in life, things don't work right. It's a natural consequence of having an incarnated soul. When things don't work right, like when you get depressed, seek out assistance. It is by working together that we see our greatest strength.