Life update.

Dear Reader,

I feel as though I have done wrong by you with my silence of late. While I am striving to work on another manuscript and I am still quite busy with the business of being a stay-at-home-mom, the main reason for my silence has been the fact that I have been struggling for the last several months with seasonal depression and a depressive episode at the same time. Once in a while, my bipolar and my S.A.D. synch up to make things difficult. This happens to be one of those times.

I want to write but my misfiring brain chemistry has me convinced at some level that I am an utter fraud and that my writings are nothing but vanity. It has been very bleak for me. On top of this, I am still trying to come to grips with the passing of my paternal grandparents in the last few years, the loss of a great-aunt, and the severe illness of a great-uncle. And all of the familial complications that have come with these things.

Easter was a big celebration for my family when I was younger. The celebration of familial bonds and the exuberance of spring was a big part of the happier of my formative memories. Life has changed and now the holidays that were times where we celebrated our family are just days on the calendar. I am struggling right now with this as much as I am with the neurochemistry being out of sorts.

Some one once told me that no one wanted to hear about my troubles or bad news. I was convinced for a long time that I had to be stoic about such things. I have been learning better lessons. Unfortunately, I am dealing with a lot of pain on an emotional and spiritual level right now that is making it hard for me to do much beyond the basics to keep my household running.