In flux.

Dear Reader,

I have been dealing with mild to moderate depression for several months now. It's been exhausting as has the uptick in my anxiety problems. My doctor ordered a battery of tests to determine what psychiatric medications my body metabolizes properly and what ones I do not. From this, we're going to determine what medication will actually work on my anxiety and who knows, possibly get a better handle on my depression. If I'm lucky, my sleep will improve too.

As I said, this has been exhausting. I have been on the edge of panic going out of the house to do daily tasks. While this has worked well to keep me from getting sunburnt, it has been detrimental to my social life and my ability to stay on top of everything that goes into running a household. I'm dealing with a large number of emotional flashbacks. I haven't nailed down what the triggers are. It is emotionally distressing and exhausting.  On top of this, I have been having intrusive thoughts relating to the trauma anniversaries and general bad things that happened in the past during this season.

I agree with my doctor that at least one of my medications is not working properly. I'm afraid of medication changes because in the past I wound up in the hospital due to them. Please, kindly keep me and my family in your good thoughts and prayers.