On Déa's Love.

Dear Reader,

It's been a particularly trying two weeks at my place. My youngest child has really been pushing limits and making some stunningly bad judgment calls. Throw on top of this the frustration of distance learning, the fact that his brother has been needing a bit of extra help with school work, and other familial stress, it's been rough. As my husband and I do our best to navigate the challenges that have come up, I find myself thinking about my role models for how to handles such things.

I was not raised by the most benevolent and kind mother. She was a harsh woman with a cruel streak a country mile wide. I am currently estranged from my parents due to their continued shenanigans. My grandmother was a kind woman who did her best to provide support for my dreams and for my well being. When I think of good Christians, my grandmother and my grandfather are the people who come to mind. When I hit challenges in child rearing I have this internal conflict between the way I was raised by my mother, the examples I was shown by my grandmother, and my own ethos.

Lately, as I face the challenges of parenting preteens, I have been reflecting on Déa. Déa is not a cruel mother. She is not lax in her parenting either. Déa instructs us through the natural consequences of our actions, which is the most effective parenting tool that I have witnessed in action. She is loving and sends us support and aid during our times of difficulty. Sometimes, we may not be cognizant of that support. When you're eyeballs deep in alligators, it's hard to see how many handbags you've made let alone the fact that someone is keeping them back so you can make those handbags with out getting eaten.

Déa loves us and wants us to be healthy and well. She provides for us the means to make that happen with the infinite possibilities that are laid out before us. She provides for us allies and confidants who can help us reach our dreams, some of them coming from the most unlikely of places. Déa is not a cruel, petty mother who wants to abase her children to make herself look more powerful. She has no need of that business because she is sufficient within herself. Déa is not a miserly, mean spirited mother who denies her children good things because she desires to hoard them for herself. She gives all away to her children with the desire that they are well and find their way back to the place of wholeness that is being with her.

I try to take my parenting cues from Déa and from the benevolent maternal figures that have influenced me over the years. Because I want my children to be healthy and well. I want them to be raised up to know that they are precious beyond words or any gifts one might give them. I want my children to have good things in life because I desire to have them know happiness in full measure. And it is my hope that I might lead them by example along the way to the true home of the spirit.