It is almost Kala and my goal of having everything around here picked up by then is impossible. I'm not going to stop cleaning in despair. I did that last year and I think I have enough dust everywhere I could plant things in it. (I really was at a bad place last year.) I have decided that since the world is going haywire, I might as well let myself have some extra time to get the household picked up. It's not like dishes are going to go anywhere, if you know what I mean.
A small part of me hopes that within the coming days that we'll be witness to a miracle and the republic will be restored. It is the same part of me that hoped that Christmas would come with the miracle that life was going to turn around as a kid. I am fairly sure, however, that such a hope is foolish. There are forces at work that I can not fully fathom and I doubt that I have the capacity to effect change on that front, as much as I want to. I pray, but prayer feels useless.
Instead of mumbling pleas that the decay of the US pass me by, I am focusing on what I can do and what I can change. I continue to work on getting things ready for when my eldest son graduates high school. I'm planning a garden and I'm going to get supplies for preserving food. I intend to take time to put by food for my household and some of the extended family. Part of that process is going to be learning how to can tomatoes. Hopefully, I will find a recipe for canning fruit that doesn't require a super huge amount of sugar.
I am attempting not to despair. I am resisting the urge to chronicle ever aspect of the political happenings in my country. I just know that would make everything harder. So, I am trying to refocus on practical things and what little things I can do to help people around me. I'm still making preemie hats. The rate had slowed down because of last year. But whipping those things off in a half hour does wonders for my stress levels. I plan on dropping off 90 preemie hats with the county hospital next month. I'm 2/3rds of the way to that goal. Focusing on things like that help ease some of my feelings of helplessness and gives me a bit of hope.
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