So, I have some issues socializing. I have some self esteem issues that get in the way a lot in most of my relationships. (I have a heavily trauma laden past. It eats at me daily, I dislike the long term effects greatly.) Sometimes these two things come together when it comes to talking to the people closest to me.
I was contemplating folding laundry and feeling utterly alone. I knew it was depression talking. I was doing my best to power through it. And then Loki said dryly, "Have you tried actually TALKING to, oh, I don't know, maybe your husband or your dearest friends? Instead of assuming that your depression must be accurate."
I answered "Low spoons." He held up a hand and bowed his head slightly. "What?" I asked.
"I'm looking for your spoons," he answered. I almost face-palmed. "How about you try just sitting in the same space? If you can't find the energy to talk about it, just sit with them. It's ok to just sit with people and not talk."
"I keep feeling ignored, when I know I'm not. I keep feeling like I'm going to waste their time." I answered and was about to throw out another feeling statement when I got the LOOK from him. That 'You're doing IT again, knock it off." look.
"Feelings are not facts. But feelings are still feelings. So talk about the feelings with the people you have them for. That will help the feelings feel less awful."
Still working on that.
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