Place holder post for future content, or something.

Gentle Reader,

I deeply appreciate your patience with me. I am utterly exhausted from a long day of running errands and minding the household. The eldest having a dentist appointment wasn't too bad. It was driving home in rush hour traffic from the city that got to me. I forgot how much I hated it until I was gripping the steering wheel white knuckled praying to all the gods that the tractor trailer that was tailgate-ing me didn't then knock us off the road when he cut in front of me at 70 mph. Dinner was chaos but at least I had something started in the slow cooker, right?

I've been sitting here for the last hour and a half trying to come up with something witchy. Something more profound than what you see here, even. It has been a very trying week, to be honest. I have been struggling with my PTSD acting up due to neighbors fighting a LOT. I was in a depressive episode up until Saturday. That is when I transitioned into this mixed episode.

It has just been very hard for me to function. Food is still an issue because we haven't figured out this whole diabetes thing. It is profoundly distressing for me to be limiting my food intake because I was just this side of anorexic in my younger years. It triggers deep anxiety. And, unfortunately, it is also a trigger for some of my PTSD. (I lived through some horrible things that I just don't talk about. I'm not even sure why I'm talking about this, honestly.)

My home is a mess. Partly because the kids had three days off from school due to Memorial day and partly because I haven't had the spoons to stay on top of everything. It is not a disaster, just something that's going to take me most of tomorrow to clean up. I'm as much if not more of an emotional mess as the house is. My being disabled is a thing I resent and try to act like I'm fine when I'm not because I don't want to be disabled. I struggle with great feelings of shame over it.

I want to do more here. I want to do more on my other blogs. I just has been very hard to function in general, let alone be organized enough to get daily blog writing done for even one blog. I'm sorry. I try really hard to provide you interesting and useful content. Right now, I'm having a bad week and it is proving really difficult. In the interests of honesty, and honoring a request of one of the deities I'm involved in, I am making this post. I apologize if it is upsetting for you. It was not my intent, but merely to let you know what is going on in my life that I am so sporadic in my posting.