Dear Reader,
It's that time of year where it seems there's a lot of pressure to be "good". Good is a relative term but the socially accepted version of good goes straight back to the Christian over-culture. The holiday season tends to focus primarily upon the Christian holy day of Christmas. It's exasperating. To see the Puritanical Christian roots of the social concept of good bared through this season's focus on "good" is disgusting. I'm sorry, but I am not a person who is going to be all sweetness, forgiveness, and piety on those terms. That's not my faith and that's not how I live my life. But, gods above and below, there is a lot of pressure to do things like "forgive" toxic family members and try to have that fictitious Victoriana/Hallmark Christmas experience.
In the Pagan community at large, that pressure bleeds into the discussion with people placing emphasis upon "hearth and home" and that pressure to "forgive" comes up. I see an increase in people criticizing others for not being aligned enough with the 'light' side of witchcraft. I see an increase in people trying to force witches and pagans into a socially acceptable box of "we're just lapsed Christians, we'll fit in to be nice." It is incredibly stressful to be pushed into that box. It's hard enough to go through life saying 'this is who I am and I am not Christian," it gets worse with the supposed 'war on Christsmas' people around and all of these people out there saying that the only good form of piety is Christian piety and all other forms of piety need to resemble it exactly to be valid.
A "good witch" is a token pagan member of the group who fits all the "nice" stereotypes. They're conventionally pretty in some fashion, they're willing to participate in the Christian rituals (secular and not), they don't discuss their religion at all, and they're always willing to use their resources to help make the holidays more 'magical' for others. In short, a "good witch" is muzzled, deprived of agency, and supposed to be an ornament that is useful as needed.
I've lived that life. Fuck it. I'm not a "good" witch. According to some people, I'm a very bad one. Why? Because I am not all "love and light" in my work. I recognize that there is darkness out there and it is not to be feared. I recognize that I have shadow work to do and as uncomfortable as my authenticity may make the people around me, I owe it to myself to be honest in who I am. I'm considered a "bad" witch because I refuse to give up my dignity for the sake of being a holiday prop. I am considered a "bad" witch because I am a necromancer and I am public about it. I am considered a "bad" witch because I refuse to bow to the 'Elders' of various witchcraft traditions. I've gone so far as to actually get into fights with them over stuff like accuracy in historical claims, the acceptance of LGBTQ+ people, and the right of people to practice their own religion even if it differs from their spouse.
I'm not a "good" witch. I'm a an experienced one. I am kind. If you are in need, I would give you the shirt off my back to make sure you were warm regardless of who you are. I am merciful to the weak and I am a holy terror to the smug, self-assured people of "power" because I recognize that all power is transitory and if you want me to respect you then you had better back up your claims.
Kindness can be a sword in the right hands. And a sharp tongue can be a balm in the right moment. The trick is recognize when it is the right time to act. I tend to hold back because I am a bit shy. But, there are things I don't hold back on. One of them is the attempt to force me back into the broom closet. Because that's where "good" witches live this time of year until they're trotted out for their token appearance. You don't want me to be your 'token' witch. Because I will show up and be myself, which can make your carefully planned role for me explode into unpredictable chaos. I'd blame it on Loki, but really, he just sits back and laughs as I destroy expectations by being myself.
Don't be a "good" witch. Be yourself and to Hel with anyone who can't handle it.
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