Dear Reader,
There's an ongoing health crisis in my household that I am scrambling to prepare for potential fall out and the possibility that it takes my Beloved longer to recover from his testing than he thinks it will. If you're of the inclination to pray for others, please keep my Beloved in your thoughts.
Dear Reader,
The last few days have been incredibly busy. On top of that, my home sounds like a WWII airport with all of these fans running. (Beloved says the air conditioner will be going in the window soon, possibly as soon as today. There's hope yet!) I've been having problems sleeping for the last several months and last night I got my first real night of sleep with a medication change. That medication change, however, has me running at half speed and not thinking quite clearly. As I adapt to this medication, that will clear up. But I am going to refrain from videos until I can put together a transcript that is actually legible. I tried a few times today to come up with something and I just had a lot of typos and bullet points that were loosely connected.
Give me a week or two to get my sleep schedule back in order and my brain back to full functionality. I'll still try to post, but they may be rambling nonsense like this one. Sleep deprivation is really weird, by the way. I only got to the mild stage of it, where there was the beginning of hallucination when laying awake in bed. I kept 'hearing' people in the empty apartment next door and my family talking when they were all asleep. Fortunately, I didn't panic. I just tried to go back to sleep after walking around the apartment to make sure everybody was ok. (I was hallucinating my husband calming both kids down after nightmares, when all three of them were literally snoring in their sleep at the same time. That totally doesn't count as talking in your sleep.)
This week's Rune is Fehu. It is associated with cattle and moveable wealth (i.e. money). It is popularly considered one of Freyr's runes. The rune poems are of mixed perspectives on this rune's meaning. The Icelandic and Old Norwegian poems speak of wealth as being a source of strife within a group of people. The Anglo-Saxon poem speaks of wealth as being a comfort and something to be shared freely to retain one's good name.
Fehu is popularly considered Freyr's rune but there's not a whole lot of hard evidence pointing in this direction. This appears to be a wholly modern convention. Modern changes to rune meanings, however, happen as language evolves. Some changes are good, some are not so good (see the Nazi influence upon the rune Algiz or Sowilo).
In most readings, this rune discusses financial situations. In a direct/upright orientation, it speaks of positive financial implications. Depending on how it falls in a reading, it may indicate a financial windfall that will be beneficial to the querent. In an indirect/reversed orientation, it speaks of challenging financial implications. Again, interpreting this rune in context of the runes around it, it can speak of financial hardship, increased expenses, or lost money. Typically, if Fehu pops up inverted with the rune Isa, it speaks of being stuck in a low income situation for a protracted period of time.
Dear Reader,
This is the final post on depression witchcraft. I could say a lot more on the topic but there comes a point where you just have to sit with the situation and figure out what is healthiest for you. Depression is not a case of 'low energy' after magical work. It may feel that way, but it lasts longer and has more negative sides than the lowered energy levels. It has more in common with mood drop after a kink scene, in my experience. You come away from the euphoria of the scene and then everything crashes. Your mood drops, you get exhausted, there's a measure of numbness to the world, and nothing seems quite right. You may experience physical symptoms similar to a mild touch of the flu with depression. This is not because you have the flu but because your brain is sending out signals that something is wrong to your entire body.
It can be a mild experience or it can be a gods awful one, depending on how severe it is. When you are in the midst of that experience, there are three things to remember. It is transient. It will improve. And you need to handle yourself gently while you are unwell. You can't expect yourself to perform at peak levels when you are ill with the flu. Depression is an illness that saps your energy and makes you feel rotten along with setting loose a rabid pack of brain weasels to gnaw on your brainmeats and tell you horrible things. Ask for help if things are too much. Be patient with yourself as you work towards recovery. And seek professional assistance if things don't start to improve within two weeks. ♥
There's some debate as to if this rune represents the dice gaming bag (mine pictured to the right with the rune card) or the birthing bench. In either case, this is a card of chance. Depending on how it falls in a reading, it can indicate high stakes (like what you find in birth) or random results (like what you find from a bag full of dice). Peorth is mentioned in only one rune poem, indicating that it is something pleasant. The debate about the birthing bench versus the dice bag is a modern one (within the last twenty years, as best I can tell).
In the direct orientation, I interpret it as a positive indicator that what ever risk the querent is undertaking has the potential for success and lucky outcomes. In the reversed (inverted) orientation, the rune can be a warning against undertaking the risky activity. Much of this is influenced by how the rune falls with others. For example if Peorth falls reversed with Boerc in direct orientation, the querent is looking at a situation where the gamble will have a positive result but it will require some sacrifice and enduring a challenging, random experience that comes with it.
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Yes, I am a rpg nerd of the old school variety. We've got a 1 which indicates a critical failure in your roll and a 20 that indicates a critical success. Peorth is the random chance that leaves you somewhere in that range between success and failure. It will never be fully explained because it is random. But, if you look at chaos theory, randomness is a good thing and can lead to highly interesting results.
Dear Reader,
It's been a while since I have posted. I have been under going a protracted period of mental health difficulties. The largest problem has been sleep. Failure to get a good night of sleep is challenging for neurotypical people. Sleep deprivation is awful. (It's even considered a form of torture under the Geneva Convention.) But, my malfunctioning brain is not letting me sleep all the way through the night. I've been working with my doctor to get this sorted out.
If you've been keeping score, this has been a problem since last August. About then is when there was a steep decline in posting. This is not because I plan on discontinuing the blog or anything else like that. It is simply because I have been so tired that functioning on a daily basis has been a struggle. Anything beyond the bare minimum to get through the day is an ordeal because I am so tired that I can't think straight.
Throw on top of this the challenges of being a parent to two teenagers with educational needs and stuff like other family obligations, blogging fell to the bottom of the list of things to do at terminal velocity. My difficulties thinking clearly has lead to challenges coming up with content for you. I can't remember what I have done already and I can't find my notes on what I wanted to do (because in my last hypomanic cleaning binge I threw that notebook away because it was full and I couldn't think of any reason why I needed to hang on to it. Hypomania sucks, y'all.)
I deeply appreciate your patience and your readership. I hope to start posting again soon. I have a new notebook and I'm beginning to get organized again. Mental health is treated like a luxury disease that if you're rich you can afford treatment. Us regular stiffs are stuck slogging it out and if we're lucky we find at least one good doctor to help us. (I got tremendously lucky after years of bad luck on that front and my psychiatrist is awesome.)
I'm attempting to get the paperback books that are published ready for republication in hardback format. There's some minor editing that needs to happen, but it's hard to work on it when you can't concentrate because all you want to do when you sit still is take a nap. I've gone through lots of coffee. The end result of that is I'm tired but I can vibrate through space and time. Still working with the doctor to figure out the silver bullet for this problem. As of right now, I'm working my way through a medication change. It's a bit weird and not fully addressing the problem. I have a feeling it is going to be a few weeks before we have this fully sorted out if not a month.
I'm still working behind the scenes when I have the energy for it. Next week, gods willing, I will have up on Friday a critical analysis of one of the first works in the Opera Omnia of the Madrian Orders. (It's come to my attention that hosting for the Society for Filianic Studies has lapsed but if you use The Wayback Machine site, you can get their last capture for the website that will cover almost everything on the site. And I believe the books are still available on Lulu.com. I will check and note if they are with a foot note to this post.) Also, next Monday, I am going back to the Runes dealing with the rune of chance, Pertho. I'm still working on generating content for the other days of the week.
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The books and other materials that were published by the Society for Filianic Studies are still available on Lulu.com and you have to use the search word 'filianic' to find it.
