Is it possible to be a godspouse to Déa?

 Dear Reader,

I'm opening up a controversial can o' worms right here. I want to preface my statements here with the following note:

Relationship dynamics are complicated. It is possible to be in a loving relationship that looks nothing like the stereotypical modern Western expectation. The dynamic between a devotee and deity is private and if the devotee chooses to share their experience, do not greet it with cynicism. They are opening up to you in a very heartfelt way and making themselves quite vulnerable to you in doing so. Be kind, be tolerant, and just listen to what they have to share. You might learn something.

Now, to the title question of this post: is it possible to be a godspouse to Déa? It is entirely possible because Déa reveals herself in an infinite number of ways that we might come to understand her love for us. While the most common expression of that love is parental, love is love. For the person who has too much trauma surrounding parental love, Déa may choose to reveal herself and her love in a more intimate fashion. This is not an orthodox position. Orthodox Filianism and Déanism says that Déa's love is always parental.

For one who has too much emotional and psychological trauma attached to parental love behaviors, Déa will reveal herself in other ways. There are countless ways to love. There are infinite ways that Déa may reveal herself within this world. All things in this world bear something of her within them. As such, she can reach through any element of this world to our souls and pour her blessings and love upon us. Her love may be felt as a transpersonal love for the whole of existence. Her love may be felt in close kinship to the Daughter. Her love may be felt in holy adoration of the Dark Mother that moves one to weep for its beauty. It is also possible that her love may be felt as the passionate love of one who is beloved in a romantic fashion.

There is no shame in this love. It is as pure of a form of love as a child's love for their parent. It is as  pure a form of a love as is shared between siblings. It is as pure a form of love as is shared between a submissive soul and a dominant one. It is simply a different form of love. One must recall, however, that as deep and passionate their love might run, it will always be overshadowed by the love of Déa. One must recall that while they may find completeness in their romantic love for Déa, they are separate from her and that she is complete in herself.

On the matter of submission and dominance, it is a tangled concept that has been treated as profane. If one chooses to surrender their will to Déa, is this not a holy act of submission? If one chooses to live their life in accordance with Déa's holy will, is this not an act of submission? Submission is a neutral concept meant only to describe a relationship dynamic. It is not possible to be a dominant figure in a relationship dynamic with Déa because she is the apex of existence and reality. Thus, the concept of a relationship dynamic wherein the mortal devotee is in a position of dominance is rendered moot. Upon the same vein, one can not be completely equal to Déa. This is simply because of her nature is beyond us. Thus, as a godspousery relationship might go, Déa is the one who makes the major decisions as the 'head of household'. 

This is different from other godspousery relationships because different deities operate in different dynamics in their relationships. If you are willing to follow where Déa leads and your heart is drawn to a romantic love of Déa, then you may enter a godspousery relationship. It is important to remember, however, one is not a consort because that implies some level of equality in the dynamic. If this is difficult to process, consider the relationship of a Christian nun with their god. They have taken a vow of marriage to their god as part of their vows to join the community of nuns. They take these vows seriously and remain chaste as an expression of their devotion. They spend a good deal of time in prayer with their god to express their adoration and affection for their god. They do not consider themselves equal to their god but they are their god's constant, adoring lover.

At its root, godspousery is that. Being the constant, adoring lover of a deity. It takes different shapes because every relationship is different and every deity is different, but the root of constant adoration and love remains the same. It is the same thing that is at the root of healthy marriages within the world of humanity as well.