What exactly is my relationship with Déa?

  Dear Reader,

In the light of my recent postings, one may wonder what is my relationship with Déa like and how I define it. The answer is very simple, I am an oathed servant of Déa. I was in my early teens when I had a vision of Déa, though I didn't know it was her. I was meditating in the woods behind my parents' house when a vision came over me. I felt surrounded by light. It poured over me and into me. It felt as though I was drowning in it. The light was blinding but I could vaguely make out a feminine form. I was filled with holy terror. 

The terror I felt was like the terror of being a very small being in an immense place. It was an atavistic fear. A voice filled the air. It spoke my name and I felt like I was in a rining bell. The air vibrated and I could feel the vibration from that voice fill me. When my vision returned to normal, I was no longer sitting against the tree that I had sat down by to meditate. I was laying flat upon the ground as though I had prostrated myself before this being of light. I brushed off the leaves and rushed home, as though nothing had happened. 

I kept this vision to myself and tried to make sense of it. I was practicing Wicca at the time. While this deity presence, because I could tell clearly it was a deity, was not offering me harm they filled me with fear because they were so overwhelming. I meditated and searched through the books I had access to in an attempt to find the name of this deity. I was in the midst of this searching when I had my second vision.

Again, I was in the woods, this time sitting on the hill. A vision filled my senses so completely it was as though I was bodily transported to another place. I was kneeling in a garden filled with flowers. At the center of the garden there was a noble Lady. She held lilies in her right hand and roses in her left. A silver circlet was on her brow. She wore a white wimple and veil. Her gown was a dark blue, almost cobalt in color. She held out the flowers to me and said, "Come, my chosen daughter." After she spoke, light flashed into my eyes and the sun was drawing low on the horizon.

I was fourteen. My homelife was less than ideal, to commit a greivious understatement. The benevolence of this Lady and of the One who first came to me had moved me to tears both times. Thus, on the hillside, facing the setting sun, I pledged myself to the service of this great goddess who had come for me in my time of trouble. I threw myself passionately into learning everything I could about a wide range of goddesses, knowing that at some point I would find writings of her.

My heart was filled with love for the goddess whose name I did not know but I could see evidence of everywhere. I offered prayers up to her and to other goddesses who came forward to guide me on my path. Even now, I have a special relationship with the Morrigan who brought me to the Dark Mother as I worked through difficult transitions and traumas in my life. 

I am not one to go so far as to say that I am a godslave (though there are others of different paths who have oathed themselves to this manner of relationship). I have been ordained as a priestess. I have taken a vow to offer love unto the whole world and to do my best to do good for it. I have taken a vow to be the hands of Déa in this world, working to right the wrongs that I see and attempt to bring greater harmony. And, I have vowed that I shall fight to see that all forms of love are respected because they all flow directly from Déa's love.