Godspousery Notes: Going back to Keen.

 Dear Reader,

I am not sure if I noted this earlier or not, I am going back to doing readings on Keen. It's the only platform that allows me the flexibility I need in my schedule and methods of reading. I was very frustrated when I came to this realization. Going months with out doing tarot readings or interacting with people outside my family wasn't helping me in any fashion. Frey and Loki staged an intervention.

They demanded to know why I was letting my pride get in the way of doing things that I loved. That stung. But, that was the point of that statement. After some discussion, they convinced me to give Keen another try. They gave me ideas for how to market it so that I actually build up a customer base even as I am working on other things. Most of all, they sat and held my hand as I faced my fear that I'm just not good enough to do this sort of thing.

I'm going to start posting links to Keen blog articles. The content is going to be different. I can't cross post material from Keen or to Keen. It's against their rules for blogging on their platform. I'm going to try to post daily across multiple blogs. There's going to be a bit of a learning curve here. Frey assures me that I'll master it again. I'm not so sure about it. 

I feel real hesitant about taking this step. I worry that Keen isn't acting in good faith with their advisors. Loki basically laughed and asked me what intermediary is doing that these days? I guess he has a good point. I just have to out think them and push myself to expand my social efforts, despite how much I dread doing so. If I have learned anything from 2020, it is that I must force myself to be social or I start having even worse problems with depression and flashbacks to trauma from when I was a kid.

As much as I hate to admit it, Keen is going to be a crucial part of that process of rebuilding social connections and getting more practice interacting with people. It's going to be as brutal as when I had to do physical therapy after I fell and hurt my back a few years ago, if not more so. But, if they have faith in me, it is the height of hubris to say that I can't possibly have any reason to have faith in myself. I've seen the price of hubris and my rib aches when the weather gets cold just to remind me.