Pandemic life is hard and being yourself is just as hard.

 I'm sorry that the video doesn't have a transcript. I just ramble here about how the pandemic life has been hard and the effect it's had on my family, our social lives, and my spiritual life. I also ramble on a bit about how I have been growing to be more authentic in my self presentation. Yes, that is a BDSM collar you see in the cover pic. I've been wearing it off and on for years. Over the course of the last year, a lot of my hesitancy about fully expressing myself has worn off. As a result, I'm transitioning my wardrobe over to goth with pops of color because I've always wanted to dress in that fashion (but past harassment made me reluctant to do what made me happy). I'm also wearing the collar for two reasons. One, it is a comfort item that makes me feel safe, happy, and loved when I wear it. Reason number two: fashion is awesome. I've got that ribbon on not to make the collar stand out (though I don't mind that it has that effect) but because I've worn this thing for so long that the plating on the hardware has worn off and my skin is reacting to the base metal. Metal allergies suck.

The long and short of the video is living through a pandemic is hard and terrifying. Equally hard is working to be your authentic self when you're living in a hostile climate. The boonies of New York state is not as open minded as you may want to think. I've been harassed about my religious convictions since I entered public school and it's continued into adulthood because people suck. I'm upset because the harassment is beginning for my kids and I'm at a loss for how to best support them through it. We're also in an area that proudly declares itself to be 'Trump country' and we are not Trump supporters. We've opposed the man and what he stands for long before he even got into politics. It's a bit hairy at times when the neighbors get going on a tear about how bad 'liberals' are and such. Practicing silence in the face of such things is difficult. But, if you're quiet, people tend to assume that you agree with them and eventually shut up.

But yesterday was a bad brain day and the kids were in need to some help getting their room clean, which is why this video is a day late. I apologize.