My First Question that the Opera Omnia couldn't answer.

 Dear Reader,

I have spent months reading, researching, and attempting to make sense of a single line from the teaching in the Clear Recital : The Three Loves. I have discovered this teaching is missing from the Gospel of Our Mother God. I have found that it is present in all other versions of the Clear Recital, including the one I was head editor on. At the time I was working on the Children of Déa version of the Clear Recital, I was focused on improving language and format. I and my team did our very best to include as much of our research into the book. 

One can imagine my surprise as I was reading the CDV's version of the Three Loves and I came upon this line.

And rightfully it has been said that your soul shall be placed in the balance against a feather, and if the beam tip even by a fraction are you condemned. CDV: The Three Loves, Verse46; Page 104, lines 4-8

I immediately sought my other copies of the Clear Recital. Word for word, this line was present in each copy except for the Gospel of Our Mother God. I then turned to the Opera Omina for some form of exposition upon this line. I found nothing to help me interpret it in either volume. This was a large disappointment. I then began looking through the digital library of the Society for Filianic Studies via the Wayback Machine internet archive. I found a great deal of discourse about politics but little about theology and nothing to clarify this line.

Thus I was forced to sit in contemplation and try to puzzle out the answer to the questions that arose from this line. These questions are:

1. Who places our souls in this scale?
   
2. Which direction of the beam tipping are we facing damnation?
   
3. Who judges this scale?
   
4. How does this condemnation/damnation effect our eternal rescue from Khear by the Daughter?

I have thought long and hard on these questions. I chose the word damnation in this post because, to be honest it is a very functional synonym for what is expressed here. I have no answers for these questions. I have prayed over this line for many days and all I find is a sloppy connection to ancient Egyptian mythos and the weighing of the heart. The feather belongs to Maat, the goddess of justice. Anubis, the god of the dead presided over the weighing. And Thoth recorded the results. If the heart was filled with good the scales would be equal. If the heart was filled with evil, the scale would tip towards the heart. And the soul would be given to Ammut, who would eat them, for they were not the blessed (good) dead who would go to live with Osiris in paradise.

This requires deeper thought and raises more questions. Like why did the foremothers of the faith choose this connection when there had already been an established system for what happens when you die.

Terrestrial Janyati?

 Dear Reader,

It seems I've put a bee into a few bonnets with my mention of terrestrial janyati. This is not some fanciful thing that a bunch of idle minds put together over some tea. In a letter discussing Lady Athene, Sr. Angelina notes that she is a janya that is upon the terrestrial plane. Sr. Angelina further goes on in her letter to state that she does not know how many other janyati have chosen to come to the terrestrial plane to give guidance and aid to Déa's children.

I would love to provide a link to this letter but it has gone missing from the archives that I had found it in. I assume that a technological error has lead to this happening, because the letter is quite valuable in helping us to understand our relationship with the janyati. Lady Athene (alternately spelled Lady Athena) is well known as a goddess of the Hellenic pantheon. It stands to reason that the other deities of the Hellenic (and other pantheons) are janyati that have chosen to come into the world to provide guidance, assistance, and protection for the children of Déa. There is no other reason why they would have deific power if they were not in some fashion beings that embodied Déa's will.

There are some who would be quick to argue that my stance here is overly simplistic and false. I ask them, quite simply, where is the difference between the high ones who performed miracles and intervened in antiquity during the era before the ascension of Christianity and the janyati who perform miracles and intervene? Gender presentation is a foolish argument. Déa comes to us as we may best understand her. If she chooses to appear to us in a form that resembles a masculine one, that is her will and that is her reaching us at the level we might comprehend the teachings she is giving us.

Ultimately, Déa is beyond gender. I know that I am going to anger some with that statement. But gender is a social construct. Physical sex characteristics are an accident of birth. The Divine contains within all potential manifestation. The Divine can present in any manner of method to get our attention. To argue that the Divine is limited to a specific form of manifestation is the ultimate act of hubris. One can not say that an individual rivulet is divorced from the river it flows from simply because it flows in a different direction. Ultimately, all of the janyati lead us back to Déa.

Veiled Witch Video No. ? - Filianic adaptation of the Anglican Rosary

 I have no transcript. The prayers can be located in my book (Garlands of Grace: Filianic Rosary Meditations) or at the mirror blog on >THIS< page.

From Consideration to Contemplation: A Process.

 Dear Reader,

When one is confronted with holy mysteries, it is easy to gloss over them when you cannot see their connection to daily life. Sometimes, we just shrug and say "It's a mystery and beyond our ability to comprehend." Other times, we proverbially cover our eyes and whistle past them, trying not to be unsettled by what they might mean if we looked directly at them. It is an easy path to acknowledge holy mysteries but not reflect upon their role within our faith, whatever that faith might be.

It is when we move from considering them on the holy days to contemplating them through out our days that we move deeper into faith. We begin by considering their meaning at the times that are fitting. For a Wiccan, the holy mystery of the Great Rite may become a topic of thought around the time of the Full Moon, when that faith typically celebrates it. For a Filianic or Déanic believer, the holy mystery of the Daughter's death and resurrection may become a topic of thought around the time of high holy day of Eastre. For a Christian, the holy mystery of the birth of Jesus of Nazereth may become a topic of thought around the time of their high holy day of Christmas. Regardless of your faith, there are mysteries associated with days and seasons. It is easier to consider them during those days and seasons because there are reminders about us.

More challenging is to consider the holy mysteries when there are fewer reminders immediately present. Still, with discipline and practice, one can build up a habit of thinking about the holy mysteries in relationship to their own life. One can recognize the cycles of the holy mysteries reflected in their lives and become a participant in those mysteries. For some, this is done by way of ritual prayer such as the rosary. For others, this is done by way of devotional reading and journalwork. Yet still others move along a path that blends both together.

Consideration is the act of observing the mystery and how it moves in your world. Contemplation is built upon a foundation of consideration. Contemplation is the act of engaging the mystery and how you move within it. It is changing the frame of reference from external to internal, from an event to a personal experience. As life is ever changing, the process of contemplation of the same mystery at different times evokes different experiences. Most people are comfortable with consideration. It is a depth of relationship with the Divine that allows them to percieve greater independence from the Divine. This is a socially encouraged attitude within the U.S. because our overculture places great emphasis upon "rugged individuality". Contemplation, however, opens one up to see that they are connected with the Divine through the holy mysteries and connected with the world through the same mysteries. This can be uncomfortable and it can make life complicated.

There is, however, a unique reward to engaging in contemplation. The deeper relationship that one has with the Divine, the more that relationship becomes a two-way relationship. The contemplative relationship enables one to see where the Divine is manifest in the world and the gifts offered by the Divine to the devotee. This is the first step upon the path of the mystic. A mystic is not some elevated being wrapped in human flesh. They are but a person engaged in a deeply personal and powerful relationship with the Divine. While not everyone can have the relationship that a mystic does because it runs counter to their temperment, they can still build a personal relationship with the Divine that brings them comfort and strength during times of difficulty. All it takes is contemplation.

All Gods Have A Mother.

Dear Reader,

I have been sitting on this for the last two years. It has partly been because I was under a taboo not to speak of it and partly because I was in dread of the reception it would get. Now that we are sitting here on the possible eve of world war three, my dread of being roasted by people in the comments doesn't look as terrifying. Additionally, I've been given permission by the deity who revealed this to me to share it.

First thing is first, this did not come from Loki or Loki wearing Frey's visage as a disguise. While Loki will pull stunts and play 'gotcha', this was a legit thing. Because he was right there beside Frey as he was explaining this, nodding his head like a bobble headed doll. Secondly, the message behind this goes farther than what the words say by themselves. Give it a read, think about it, and then read it again. Finally, this is not verbatim what Frey told me. There are parts of this that I am still not allowed to discuss.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

All gods have a mother. Those mothers have mothers going back until the beginning of ages. For many, the mother of gods has been forgotten. It is something that has been lost into antiquity because you no longer can read the signs of your ancestors for they have been worn away by wind, rain, and time. This, however, does not make this less valid.

There is some memory of this in the creation stories of the world's old religions. Even a trace of this memory is shown in the creation story of the Christians. The creation story of the Heathen faiths varies some in the telling and in the details of how it happened. It is a very old story and old stories grow with time.

Long ago, before all things were, there was a place where there was fire and there was ice. Between them stood a gap, vast and deep. The fire warmed the ice and the waters fell into the gap of nothingness. In this place, standing upon the ice was Audhumla, a cow of the ancient kind, wild and fearsome. Some say that Ymir was freed from the ice and they were the first present. These people would say that Ymir thirsted and waited for the fire to free Audhumla. She, however, was present before Ymir.

Aldhumla drank of the melt-waters and licked the salt of the ice of what became known as Nifheim. She warmed herself from the fires of what became known as Muspelheim. As the melt-waters diminished and the ice was licked away, Ymir was brought forth. Ymir bore their children as they slept after the nourishment from Aldhumla. As Ymir slept, Buri was brought forth from the ice. Nourished by Aldhumla, Buri waxed hale and found one of Ymir's daughter's fair. They had a son, Bor. Bor found a wife in one of Ymir's granddaughters, Bestla, and they had three famous sons, the eldest being most famous. His name is known even today among the world of Midgard when so many have been forgotten. I am not here to speak of that, however.

Aldhumla is the mother of gods in the creation story of the faith of followers of heathenry. For they were born from ice by her deeds. None speak of Aldhumla and the great good she had done for all life. Aldhumla has been forgotten in all but name. But the mother of gods can be found elsewhere for she has ten thousand names that are remembered and many, many more that have been forgotten.

One may ask, what did the mother of gods do when her children grew to no longer need her nourishment and nurturing? She watched them set out and engender themselves to discover their wyrd. And when the time of all things passes, the gods shall all return to her and be embraced. Aldhumla will welcome her children back and listen to their tales of their adventures and tragedies.

As apple trees bear apples and cherries their own fruit, gods are born of gods. Tread gently upon the faith of others, for those gods are distant kin to your own. If not for the sake of peace and frith, do so for the sake of the ancient mother of all gods. For she is your mother as well.

Goddess worship?

Dear Reader,

I have seen some consternation and deep concern that the Filianic and Déanic community is being overrun by "goddess worship" and a general complaint that there are people practicing Wiccan style worship. As one of those fringe people in the Independent Filianic community, I have a bit of bad news for these folks who are troubled by this. In all technicality, Filianism and Déanism is goddess worship. The Divine is worshiped as a feminine figure, this makes the worship practice goddess worship.

There are members of the community who would argue that I am demoting Déa by referring to her as a goddess because of some bad linguistics that was presented at one point stating that the term god came before the term goddess and that goddess is the inferior form of the term god. I have held my tongue on this piece because I did not want to kick up a hornet's nest. I think, however, it is time to put out there a few concepts that I have been operating under that are supported by actual linguistic history.

Point number one: the term god and goddess evolved parallel to each other within the English language. If you look at the ancient terms (from an English background), the term for goddess is Dis (the plural being Disir). The gods were identified as Tyr (before this became a singular name for a given deity, the pluralization of this has been lost). After that they were identified by tribe. The Aesir, the Vanir, and the Jotnar were a collective identification for each tribe. Tribal members were identified by their names or as a collective group.The names for masculine and feminine generic members of each tribe were different but related. Much like branches on a tree are related but part of the same tree.

Point number two: Dis is the elder of the identifications for deity as per what I have been able to find in my research regarding the early English language roots.

Point number three: In the post migration period of the Teutonic/Germanic/Norse peoples, the Disir came to include elevated female ancestors and spirits.

The addition of god- to the word Dis came about to distinguish the most powerful Disir. The word god- was gender neutral up until the Christianization of region. Most gods were known by their name, their tribal identification, or their by-names. In many ways, in modern pagan belief systems this has been revived. In indigenous belief systems, the use of the term god and goddess is not found (and this has been something I've spoken to someone with intimate knowledge of the last existent indigenous European religion - the Sami culture, in case you were wondering).

The point of my argument here is that "goddess worship" is exactly what we are doing. Goddess is by no means a slur or a demotion of Déa. If anything, it is restoring dignity to the highest of the Disir. It is bitterly ironic to watch the argument that "goddess worship" is not proper, especially from the Orthodox community. The Orthodox community has lifted passages from ancient goddess worship texts (the Golden Ass for example) and claimed them as their heritage.

I ask, if a child of Isis, the All Mother, comes to Filianism or Déanism, will they find welcome or will they be turned away for their 'goddess worship' despite the fact that Filianism and Déanism is partly founded upon their sacred texts? I ask, if a devotee of Deva comes to Filianism or Déanism, will they find welcome or will they be turned away because they do not worship in the same fashion that the Orthodox community desires? I ask, if a devotee of Marya comes to Filianism or Déanism will they find welcome or will they be turned away because they worship in a fashion that looks suspiciously Christian in nature?

The Chapel of Our Mother God in its wisdom did not dictate that worship should happen in a given way at a given time. It was said that Filianism is a form of Déanism, Déanism is the worship of Déa the mother of all, the supreme creatrix.

Déa reveals herself to us in ways that we might more easily come to her. Hence the Daughter. Hence the Janyati. And, I would boldly argue, hence the plurality of many deities within the world's religions. All gods have a mother. That mother is Déa. She may choose to move through them to reveal mysteries. She may choose to move through people to reveal mysteries. She may choose to move through nature itself. Déa is powerful and benevolent. It would be helpful to remember she is not limited to the iconography of Filianism or Déanism. That was revealed to make it easier for us to reach up to her.

An Excerpt for the Ritual Book, Vol. 1 - Filianic Rituals and Rites

Dear Reader,

While my training and education as a priestess is from a Wiccan and neo-pagan position, I did a great deal of research into Christian and Catholic Christian devotionals in the process of writing this book. The profession of devotion to Dea that is given in this volume of the Ritual Book is actually an adaptation of a profession of life long devotion to Mary. The version presented in the book is designed to be facilitated by clergy but it does not require clergy to be effective.

For a solitary vow of perpetual devotion, the following may be recited before one's shrine. Prior to making the recitation, it would be advised to have some manner of garment or jewelry that would be worn as an outward sign of the vow to serve as a visual reminder of one's vow and special bond with Dea. Head covering is a common outward sign of devotion but in cases where that is not possible, a special article of jewelry such as a necklace, bracelet, or ring.

The vow:

My Queen and my Mother,
I give myself entirely to you.
And to show my devotion to you,
I consecrate to you this day my heart,
my spirit, and my whole being without reserve.
Therefore, good Mother,
As I am entirely your own,
keep me, guard me, as your treasured child.

After making the vow, retrieve the items placed upon the shrine and put them on. Spend some time in contemplation of the vow and your special relationship with Dea.

Godspousery Notes: How to talk about IT?

I was asked a very good question on a comment a few weeks ago. I've been mulling over how to reply to it and I turned to Freyr for advice. Honestly, I wasn't sure how to explain the relationships between different pantheons. It came perilously close to a taboo that I've been given and I just couldn't figure out a good way to parse things. Freyr, being a diplomat and ruler himself, had some interesting things to say.

1. It isn't my place to dictate how deities relate. What my experience of how deities interact is different from what others experience. All of which is different from how the deities interact with each other and their business with each other.

2. Being a hard polytheist didn't make me a bad follower of Dea. It may make me a confusing person for people who are soft polytheists and for monotheists, but it doesn't make my relationship with Dea bad. It just made it different, which is ok because everyone has different needs that Dea meets.

3. In an infinite universe of infinite possibilities, there is an infinite number of ways for deities to interact and they all happen simultaneously. Because of the limited scope of human comprehension, we can only be aware of a limited amount of this information. Every deity that has been worshiped, is being worshiped, and will be worshiped exists. All religions are valid because of infinite possibility. We're just limited because we can't comprehend it all.

Freyr then gently reminded me that a bunch of very smart physicists detailed this sort of thing when I was young and that it was silly of me to forget one of the reasons why I fell in love with theoretical physics does apply to theology.

He then told me not to worry about what other people thought about my relationships. It didn't matter if it looked 'normal' or 'proper' as long as it was healthy and it worked for me. All of my taboos focus on keeping me healthy and relatively sane. All of my devotional work focuses on health and well being.

The books I write come out of the place of health that I am encouraged to maintain. My daily prayer devotions all serve to give structure to my day, which helps keep me healthy. My daily rituals of devotion again serve to structure my day to help me stay grounded in the present and healthy. The writings are the fruit of that structure.

An Explanation of Sayings.

Dear Reader,

It gladdens my heart that many of you are finding A Year with Dea to be of use and comfort to you. There is a question that has arisen about the sayings that I have quoted that are not canonical. While I have included a reference to the text those sayings are contained in, I think it better that I tell you the story of them in addition to what you can find in Drowning in Light.

I have had visions of Dea since I was young. My experiences with her have been confusing at times but always a comfort. My first vision happened September of 1991. I went to the woods to meditate, for I was still learning this practice and the woods was where I could escape the distractions of my parents' house. A vision came over me. I was in a place of white light. The light emanated from something so bright it blinded me. I vaguely saw a female shape but the light was so brilliant that I couldn't look on it to see her features. A voice filled the air. It spoke my name and I felt like I was in a ringing bell. The air vibrated and I could feel the vibration from that voice fill me. When my vision returned, I was no longer sitting against the tree but rather laying flat on the ground as though I prostrated myself before something.

I didn't speak of my vision to anyone. I knew that my parents would be hostile towards me for it and accuse me of making things up. I was twelve and afraid of the reaction anyone would have had towards me for it. The household I grew up in did not consider the supernatural as more than anything for a laugh and cheap movie tricks, at best. A few weeks later, in late October, I was again in the woods behind my parents' house. A voice filled the air. It was a sweet sounding female voice. It called my name and I looked around to see who could possibly be there. Then, before I could call out to see if anyone was present, the voice said to me, "All who believe are kin." In that moment, I knew that I was having some kind of spiritual experience. For the voice that spoke had the same feeling of being within a bell as happened with my first vision of her. I ran home, frightened that I was in some manner of trouble for even having an experience that my upbringing had so firmly denied.

The statement echoed. It echoed in ways that did not make sense to me at that age, not knowing much of anything about anything religious at all. Still, I looked at the different faiths in the world and saw how they were all related. I saw how everyone who had faith were somehow kin to each other, including they who had nihilistic beliefs, for they had faith in their own beliefs. Somehow, I didn't understand it, but somehow the capacity for faith had made us all kin.

Recurring dreams of a woman of queenly bearing in white and blue happened for months. In these dreams, she held flowers and walked in a garden more lovely then I had ever seen on Earth. She was always dressed as a great queen of the high middle ages. I struggled to understand the fact I kept having this dream. At the same time, I was in the midst of my early spiritual training as a witch. Thus, meditation was a thing I practiced daily and I kept a detailed journal of what came of it, as I did of my dreams as well. I came to the conclusion that the Lady in my dreams was a goddess of some kind. (At this time, I was unfamiliar with Catholicism and only had a vague concept that Mary was revered by them. For all my fascination with the middle ages, I was more interested in the stories of knights wooing their loves than I was with the era. After all, I was twelve.)

It was in the midst of all of these dreams and my confusion that I had my second vision of Dea. It was late November. I had gone off to the woods with out my parent's permission and in secret (and rather recklessly, I confess now for it was at the beginning of hunting season) to meditate where I had my first vision. It was chilly and the poplar leaves were on the ground now instead of a few up in the trees still. I was in a garden filled with flowers. At the center of the garden there was a noble Lady. She held lilies in her right hand and roses in her left. A silver circlet was on her brow. She wore a white wimple and veil. Her gown was a dark blue, almost cobalt in color. She held out the flowers to me and said, “Come, my chosen daughter.”

When it had passed and I hastened home, my mother complained that I stank of roses, as though I had bathed in perfume. I hadn't any perfume and the distance from where I had been to my parents' kitchen should have been enough to have muted the scent just because of the wind blowing. I didn't say anything of the vision because my mother was already irate that I smelled as I did and I was fairly sure I was going to be punished if I said anything that sounded strange to her.

Over the years, through out my education and studies, I sought to find and know the Lady who had claimed me as I sat in a grove of winter-ready poplar trees on a hillside. It lead me through many different paths and many different ways. In the progress of it all, I discovered that the Lady was not the only deity out there who took interest in me. But, she was always there. Always. At one point, I thought perhaps I was to become Christian and that was the meaning of this all. Then I had the confusing "It's not you, it's me," conversation with Jesus, where he said I was very clearly not one of his people, though I was a very nice and good person.

Filianism made itself known to me in 2005. I was at a dark place in my life and said that it clearly couldn't be the right path. After all, I had all of these OTHER gods around me and I deal with spirits and the dead. I was a witch, how could I be of that faith and be one at the same time, right? Filianism continued to come up as a theme time and again. When I started this blog, I finally stopped avoiding what was right in front of me.

I am a seer. Dea or perhaps one of the other gods, I honestly don't know, has given me this gift. Sometimes it seems a curse because what I see is so tragic. Sometimes I feel as though I'm going crazy. For a time, I honestly thought that my spiritual experiences simply had to be my imagination running away with me or perhaps hallucinations. Until I started having hallucinations, which was horrific. My spiritual experiences didn't go away with the hallucinations. They became the lifeline that helped me endure them until I hit a point of absolute crisis.

I'm on medication now for my psychological illnesses. One would logically expect for these spiritual experiences to cease when they are on high doses of antipsychotic medication for an extended period of time. They have not. They continue with a good degree of regularity, waxing and waning with the seasons in some cases. In others, they're just random and daily. But the sayings in the book I published and that I referenced in my other book, they have been said to me by Dea and the angels.

I am humbled by them. I am guided by them. And, I live in some degree of holy awe of them. My relationships with Dea and the angels is different from my relationships with Loki and Freyr. Dea is my mother, my Lady, and the source of all wisdom. From her all of my other loves stem. But, Dea claimed me as her priestess an a cool autumn day when I was hiding from my parents and siblings, giving me a place of refuge for my spirit that I was desperately seeking.

Adoration of the Dark Mother.

Dear Reader,

Much has been written about adoration of the Bright Mother and her Daughter. The Dark Mother is equally worthy of adoration. Perhaps Deam Mysterium is not written about because she is mysterious and hard to describe. Perhaps the Absolute Deity is too intimidating to approach because of how vast she is. When one is in the ocean, one is surrounded by the ocean. This can be terrifying. And yet, the ocean remains surrounding the person regardless if they close their eyes to it or not.

It is not unnatural to be uneasy with that which surpasses us. It is a survival trait that has served humanity and the rest of life upon this planet quite well, hence why we still live. At the same time, as thinking beings, we have the capacity to transcend that discomfort and engage with the overwhelming things that surround us. If we did not, humanity would never have built boats to sail upon the ocean with, aircraft to soar the skies, or spacecraft to explore the stars.

Such daring can be brought to our love of Dea. Though the Dark Mother is the light that blinds us, we can still love in our blindness. A child within the womb is blind but surrounded by their mother's love regardless of the blindness. We can adore Deam Mysterium with the pure simplicity of a child's love. Through that love which the Dark Mother gives us in return, she is the darkness that reveals mysteries.

In all things, let us love Dea as she loves us. Unconditionally and simply.

Scripture reading and a problem.

I have a side project that I've been working on for a few months now as I have the energy for it. I've been copying over the sacred scriptures of Filianism/Déanism into a hardbound notebook as a devotional practice and meditation. I am only partly through the Gospel of Our Mother God and one thing keeps standing out to me as I consider it all very carefully. That it does not address whom has any mantle of authority upon them by way of Dea's grace.

There are some who follow that if their ordination comes by way of an unbroken faith tradition (i.e. Christian, Buddhist, or Hindi) that it had the authority that would come from Dea as in antiquity (so claimed by scholars who have since been shown to be questionable sources). There are some who argue that their authority is given to them by way of divine grace and should be accepted upon the basis of their word. And then there are the more mercenary of those who would be clergy that argue that priesthood is recognized by humanity through pieces of paper and acquire ordination from unconventional but publicly recognized sources to support the ordination given by way of divine grace at an earlier time.

It is a question that I sit and try to make sense of on a regular basis. I look at myself in the mirror and ask how I can expect anyone to think I have the authority to speak on any of this? At the same time, I can not help but ask questions. Questions of myself and my own work as clergy, questions of the role of any clergy in society, and what exactly that relationship is. This has lead me to reading philosophical texts, instructional books, and the writings of many different faith systems (holy texts and those written by lay people of deep insight). In all of my reading, I have a general idea of how the concept of clergy is supposed to work for the Christian faith, for example, and the social contract that goes along with it. I struggle to suss out what that social contract is for clergy of other faiths, simply because they are not the dominant faith practiced in my region so it is harder to get information.

Three questions keep coming back. The first I just mentioned: how can we tell whom is clergy and has the mantle of authority upon the by way of Dea's grace? The second question is what are the responsibilities and duties of said clergy? And the third question is what is the scope of their authority? Are all clergy equal or is their a hierarchy we are not aware of? In many ways, the answers to the second question are parallel to those for when this question is applied to Christianity. But the first and third questions are far more fuzzy. It frustrates me because if one is clergy or somehow a vowed person (monk, nun, godspouse, spirit-spouse, child, etc.), the questions about how we relate to the rest of humanity is just as important as those about how we relate to deity.

Is there an abbey structure in place, for example, for nuns of Loki? Do they have a rule to follow and a Mother Superior to answer to? (From the pagan nuns I have been in contact with, there is not a Mother Superior and they instead have a council of sorts where decisions are made upon debate, discussion, and collective discernment of the will of deity. And these nuns are godspouses as well. Because I don't wish to have their arrangement be the model of what I am proposing, I will not elaborate on it.) And there are the people who would be like pagan anchorites in the world, living a life of solitude and meditation and communion with their gods. Who helps them? Because the Christian anchorites were supported by the faith community and under the direction of spiritual advisers who were trained in their faith's precepts to high degree (theoretically) and the needs they could not meet on their own were provided for them. (In antiquity, there were anchorites who lived in a walled chamber of a monastery with a small window whereby they could communicate with others and receive the necessities for life (such as food and drink) but otherwise were completely isolated from the world.)

These are important questions to find answers to. If we can not find answers, we must make them or happenstance and folly will make them for us. As a student of history, happenstance and folly are not the gentlest of teachers and can lead to utter ruin, snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. So, I ask my friends who are clergy within the Filianic/Déanic community specifically, what are the answers to:

• What is the signs of spiritual authority? How do we recognize them?
• What are the responsibilities that come with spiritual authority? What are the duties required of clergy and they who are avowed to a devotional relationship with Dea?
• What are the things that are in this world they have authority over? What in the realm of spirit do they have authority over? Where are the limits of this authority?
• Are all clergy equal despite differing traditions/sects of worship? 

Recommendations: Take a Mental Health day!

There are a lot of 'take care of yourself' memes out there. Usually, they include things like take a bubble bath, treat yourself to your favorite coffee drink, and stuff that requires spending money. If your budget is tight, it's hard to do those things. Most of us are trying to burn the proverbial candle at both ends, which contributes to burn out on pretty much all levels. Exhaustion leads to depression, which just makes you feel like life isn't worth the effort. To prevent this, you need to take care of your mental health as well as your physical health.

If you can't take a full day out of your week to rest and recover from the effort of the week. That's ok, at least try to squeeze an hour of time out just for you. No work, no social engagements. Just taking some time for you to rest. Maybe take a nap. Maybe knit something. Or just watch some program that you enjoy as you put your feet up and drink a hot chocolate. It is vital to tend to your mental health for you to be healthy in other areas of your life.

Now, I understand that this is very difficult to do. We are socialized to say that we must be productive all the time in order to be considered valuable members of society. This is not correct. This is actually a great and horrible lie. Our value does not lay in what we can produce or how many people we can please. We are valuable just as we are. It's a hard lesson to learn. I personally struggle with it a lot as I am disabled and it makes it really hard to look in the mirror and say I'm still a worthwhile person because I'm not out earning a paycheck.

The gods, however, don't care about your bank account or just how many people you make happy on a given day. They care about YOU in all your aspects, phases, and moods. You are valuable to them for reasons we can't begin to fathom, among them is that intrinsic value you have for just being yourself. They'd want you to take care of yourself because you are important. You deserve love, tenderness, and caring for your needs.

♥

Community Discussion: Apolitical or not?

If you are in the United States, you are painfully aware of what has been unfurling over the course of the last few months. It is something that has been causing great consternation and upset for a good many people. And for good reason when you consider how closely the things being done parallel what happened in the Weimar Republic. When we consider things, a question arises: should a person of faith get involved with political happenings?

Christianity has the maxim of 'Render unto Caesar, that which is Caesar's. Render unto God, that which is God's.' and I have literally lost count of the number of places where I have seen it argued that the division between faith and politics must be absolute. Even within the Filianic and Deánic community, there is a strong pull towards staying out of politics. The concern that these things carry spiritual pollution is one that makes a good deal of sense when you see just how atrocious things get when politics are involved. In many cases, there are people who have chosen the path of pacificsm and abstaining from involvement in pretty much anything that looks like politics.

I am not going to argue that these people are irresponsible or something like that. I do, however, wish to note that silence in the face of horrible things happening can be taken as implied consent. People use it everyday to justify anything from child abuse to sexual assault, to racial hatred and truly horrific behavior. The expression 'the silent majority' is one that is bandied about as some sort of proof that silence equals consent and compliance with things that are happening. Please, if you choose silence and abstaining from action, make clear that you do not support that which is done supposedly in your name in some fashion.

Is there a division between church and state? Well, yes, historically there has been within the United States. That division, however, is breached when laws, legislation, and executive orders are set down to punish an undesirable faith under color of law. That division is breached when such things are set down to promote a specific faith. Sadly, it is not something that we can look away from and say 'These are the actions of crackpots. The republic will withstand this and all shall be well.'

As of right now, the people of the nation are in real danger. Threats are being made on multiple levels against people who do not fit the mold of the overculture. Threats are being made against the people who work to continue to keep the republic in good health by way of educating the populace and attending to their needs. When the EPA is put under a gag order and have their funding frozen, one must ask just what it is that the people in power are attempting to do here? When funding for things like Public Broadcasting is frozen and talk is being made of having one of the largest of free-to-public access points of information cut out of the picture, we must ask, what are the people in power attempting to hide?

Yes, we could argue all day how it is not 'spiritual' to roll up our sleeves and step into the mess to try to salvage the republic from these people's machinations. Sometimes spirituality and faith requires more than pretty prayers breathed in the peace of our personal sanctums. Sometimes we are called by the situation to step up and actively do things to enact our faith. Yes, some argue that this is the Kali Yuga and we are powerless to do anything about the atrocities that are unfurling and coming.

If you are of a mind to argue that all of this is simply fate and we're doomed, so why bother, please consider the following:

People said the same thing about the actions of oppressors repeatedly through out history. They who decided to throw up their hands and simply accept the evils done by those people generally did not survive or profit from it. And the oppressors were stopped by the people who rose up and said 'My conscience demands that I stand against this. I will not tolerate this happening.'

I, for one, can not tolerate what I see is unfurling. I am still trying to decide what it is I must do in resistance. It is my opinion that we are called to resist when evil begins to happen around us. Because in resisting, we are actively living out our respective faiths because we are choosing the act in accordance with what our faiths teach us.

The gods generally are ones to help they who help themselves. So, yes, continue your petitions for deliverance from evil. But do not tolerate it in your own life as well, because this shows the gods that you are working to change the situation. Help will come in unexpected ways. I am entirely sure that Dea's arrival to chase the beings who serve the Dark Queen was not expected, though I am sure that people begged for her aid.

Pagan Parenting: Building Devotional Relationship

I am going to try to do a bi-monthly post on parenting in a pagan household. Please understand, much of this is a learning process for myself and what I am sharing with you is a combination of what I have learned from researching how others are approaching the spiritual education of their children and what I have cobbled together myself.

This week, I am going to share with you something that I have started doing with my boys. Up until this point, we have been very casual about devotional activities for the kids. They understand that the altar is a special space. They have learned that if they have something they want to give to the gods, they can set it there. They have also learned that if they have something they want to share with the gods, they can set it there. (Many matchbox cars and a few dinosaurs have been shared. A train or two as well, their favorite toys that they love are what they set up there to share. It is really sweet.)

The kids are curious and want to connect with pretty much any and everyone. This includes the gods and our ancestors. I was flailing around at a complete loss for what to do. Then I realized that I keep a prayer journal and they could perhaps keep one too. Where I post in my prayer journal on a daily basis, we are working with them to do so on a weekly basis (if we get organized enough for that). In the picture above is the working template that we're trying out.

I got the idea from looking at the pinterest pages of Christian folks who are homeschooling their children. As I saw the pages and worksheets that they had put together, I thought this was a great way to help them build their sense of connection with the gods. As such, I took the simplest elements of what I saw on these pages and put them together on to one.

The first element is addressing the deity they have chosen to write to and expressing gratitude for the good in their lives. It is such a simple thing and it helps a person to see just where things are going right for them. It works really well to help get a prayer session off on a good foot. Where the Christian folks have their prayer journals set up to address a single god, I left the line for the deity being addressed open. We're a polytheist household, so not the same god is going to be addressed every time.

The second element is asking the deity to help three people. I want to teach the kids that talking to the gods is not about asking for stuff. I want to help them understand that the value lies in other things, like establishing a sense of kindness and good will. As a result, I encourage them to think of three people that they would like to see helped out. This fosters in the kids a greater sense of empathy for others. It also helps them to look at the gods more as people they have a relationship with rather than ephemeral machines that dispense things if you put in enough tokens.

The final element is their own requests. I focused on the 'help' angle right now because the kids are very material oriented right now. It is positively maddening to have them asking me for new toys every time I turn around or they see an advertisement. As such, I am encouraging them to ask for help with things, to tell them something that they are proud of, and to share with the gods something that they thing is important. The distinction between things and goals is one that I think is going to serve them well down the road.

I feel that part of the objective here is to teach the boys that the process is often more important than the stuff that comes as a result. I am also working to teach them how to approach the gods as unique individuals. Right now, they have a great love for Sunna and Máni. They greet them every time they see the Sun and Moon. They tell them about their dreams and hold up toys for them to see.

Sometimes, the boys tell me about how they want to visit the gods. They talk about how they want to pet Sunna's horses and race Loki across the sky. They adore the idea that the gods take care of the world and everything there is. There is a little conflation of Sunna and Máni with the Sun and Moon, but they're slowly learning the distinction. They also are regularly excited by the idea that maybe they'll meet the gods wandering around in the world in disguise. Sometimes, they announce they are going to find the gods and bring them places that are special to them, like the park or the grocery store (which is special because that is where we get donuts, which are one of the best foods in the world according to my boys).

Giving them this platform to interact with the gods, I hope, will help them to feel more connected to them and foster a sense of love between them and the gods. The boys are so quick to love everyone to begin with, I think it will be wonderful if they learned to pick up on the care that the gods show them. And this is the first step in that process, I think.

Godphone: Lesson Four - Dissonance & Mental Noise

Godphone is often considered to be a wonderful thing. When it works, there is this idea that we have complete confidence in it and that we will always know when it is correct. It is not so simple. If I have not made it clear before now, this form of divination requires a great deal of self examination and a very deep knowledge of oneself. Even with experience and a great deal of practice, there is a significant amount of time where time will be spent just looking at the information and questioning it.

It doesn't help much that Western society tells us that it is alright to talk to the Divine but when it answers back, we must be experiencing psychosis. The subtle narrative that is built up around us by society at large that tells us this 'truth' invades our thought processes. As much as we may wish to set it aside and sincerely believe that this 'truth' is not actually an absolute truth, there will be an echo of it. It leads to us questioning our experiences pretty hard. A measure of skepticism is always useful in magical studies, it helps keep us out of serious trouble, but at some point there needs to be an acceptance of the 'absurd' when Occam's Razor winnows it out as the only answer that makes sense.

The best way to describe the effect of the cultural attitudes that serve to make it difficult to engage in pretty much any form of magical study, in my experience, is that it is mental noise. It is that background hum which we generally ignore but when we are put in a situation where ignoring it is not an option it turns into an overwhelming cacophony. Mental noise sometimes presents as your first reflexive thought upon something. Other times, it is a persistent sense of doubt that leads you to question what your senses and intelligence is telling you to be the case.

There is a meditative exercise that helps reestablish the ability to put aside the background noise of the attitudes which were steeped into our education. It consists of visualizing some sort of device making noise with an adjustable dial or other control. As you turn the control to a quieter setting, envision the mental noise decreasing to a more tolerable state. It sounds like a silly exercise. It is, however, surprisingly effective with some practice.[1]

The other major challenge that isn't really talked about with mentally based magical disciplines is cognitive dissonance. Cognitive dissonance is something of a thorny problem. Everyone has it for some reason. It is generally fairly hard to overcome. It is a case of one's thinking conflicting with evidence presented to them, resulting in the evidence being rejected somehow in favor of preserving the initial idea (which is usually fairly heavily entrenched).

A good example of cognitive dissonance in action is politics. (Now, this is not going to be a political post, but this is probably the most accessible example I can think of right now.) Imagine, if you will, a person who habitually votes for a given political party. They strongly identify with said party to the point where they have memorabilia and actively work to encourage others to associate with this party. This is something that is a part of the way they view themselves and they are quite happy and proud of this. Now, a person running for office in their region is supporting legislation that runs directly against this individual's personal interests.

How do they handle this challenge to their idea that this party promotes their welfare? They will reject the idea that the legislation even exists, in some cases. In other cases, they will deny that it is actually harmful to themselves personally (including people like themselves as being immune from harmful said effect). They will try to excuse said harmful legislation as a minor component of a larger, more beneficial action. The list of ways they try to justify their continued support of the politician supporting the harmful legislation is long and varied.

All of those methods, however, fit the same pattern of behavior. When presented with information that threatens their identity or their belief, they deny said information and reject it. This is often followed by some sort of assertion that their belief is valid. Unfortunately, the only way to address cognitive dissonance is by continually challenging it. It is difficult and in many cases, it leads to very uncomfortable situations.

In handling cognitive dissonance, we must remember that we are manipulating something of a protective function of the brain. It serves to help us cope with difficult situations until we can process them or disregard them. Thus, when you encounter it, seriously question what it is working to 'protect' you from. Also, remember that mental noise and cognitive dissonance is not an inherently a bad thing. They can present some challenges to building your skills and make it difficult to godphone, but they can serve useful functions as well.

Calling on Winter's Allies.

Winter can be a harsh and biting season. It is the time of year where the weather itself is a threat to life and limb for the unprepared. After the largess of harvest, we enter into a season defined by diminished resources and threat. There is, however, advantages to this season. The ice and snow works to keep other dangers at bay. It can be a powerful ally. Consider the ill fate of people who attempted to invade Russia in winter, for example. Snow is also known as the poor man's fertilizer with how it replenishes the nitrates in the soil even as it brings the water table up to what is needed when it melts in spring.

Ice, snow, and storm magic is not something that is generally undertaken lightly. This season is obviously exceptionally well suited towards it. Calling upon the spirits of winter and the storms can be a very arduous thing. They are known as harsh and demanding beings. When the host of the Unseelie are abroad, people even in modern times will adhere to the old wisdom of refraining from joining them when they call ¹. The Wild Hunt rides in the winter with a reputation as harsh as that of the fairies ². Similar caution is called in dealing with them. Indeed, some may argue more caution because where the fairies may be satisfied with mischief at your expense, the Wild Hunt is far more violently inclined. This only makes sense, as they are lead by Oðin himself in many instances. (Some speculate in all and that the All Father travels in disguise, as is his wont.)

Every place in the world has a name for the ones who come in winter. Those names are spoken with caution. Many of them are referred to with by-names in the hope of avoiding the direct attention of these beings. Still, it is possible to negotiate arrangements with most any of them. It must be done with great caution. Some beings, like the Wendigo ³, are best left alone because they have a long history of hostility towards humanity. Others, like the jotun maiden Skaði, will be stern and demanding, but if you observe proper manners will give you the time of day and even help you.

One may look at all of this and question why I am posting something so foreboding today. If we look at the atrocities happening in the world, we can see why we have need of allies that are as hard as the people who are seeking to destroy that which is good in the world. The season of winter is a time of hardship and the spirits that move in it are renown for their ferocity. Appealing to them as allies may be a wise decision. Moving with the essence of the storm at your side makes it easier to resist the people arrayed against you. Remember, however, a sword has two edges and can cut both ways if it is not used wisely.

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1. Fairies are known in many cultures. The Unseelie are reputed as the 'dark' court of fairies who hold sway in the autumn and winter. They are quick to anger, capricious, and possess an established reputation for casual cruelty, if not malevolence. It is my understanding, however, that their seeming 'evil' nature is simply due to a disregard for humanity. If they are moved to anger, though, the unpleasantness of their attention is well known. They are also strongly associated with the dead, death, and decay. It only makes sense considering the nature of the seasons that their reign in the realm of the fair folk.

2. The Wild Hunt is, as per my understanding, a hunting party of spirits, demigods, and the dead, along with whom ever Oðin chooses to invite to come with them. They go through the world hunting that which is harmful to Midgard and bring about a measure of ... retributive justice to those whom are deemed in need of such harsh lessons. Envision the wrath of your ancestors against someone who has murdered a relative of yours. Now think of how they and a numberless horde of friends are going to mess up that person's luck. That is the Wild Hunt in avenging mode. It's rather terrifying.

3. The Wendigo is on my list of beings to never trifle with. If you are trying to be 'edgy and cool' don't try to dance with this spirit. They will actively destroy your life - at the minimum. Go listen to some 'dark music' and ring up Alistair Crowley with your Ouija board to tell him how cool he is instead. (Don't be surprised if he laughs at you and messes with you. He's a bit of a dick.)

Prayer Beads: Chaplet of the Janyati (Part 2)

In my last post, I talked a bit about the origins of this chaplet. I also pointed out the similarities between the chaplet and the rosary. The structure of the chaplet is smaller than that of a rosary. Where the five decade rosary most frequently used has sixty beads, the chaplet has thirty three. They are used in a similar fashion. Many of the prayers used for the rosary can be used for the chaplet.

The most basic prayers are:

• Statement of faith (some call this the creed)
• Glory to Dea
• The Daughter Prayer
• Our Mother
• Hail Marya
• Hail Holy Queen

The orthodox Filianic prayers can be found at A Chapel of Our Mother God.

My rendition of these prayers can be found starting on page 127 of my book Rose Petals: A Filianic Psalter. I will also present them below if you don't have a copy on hand or easily accessible to you. They are recited in a specific order that leads the person who is praying into a mild state of entrancement which facilitates a sense of connection with Dea and aids in our efforts to communicate with her. Words flow less from the head and more from the heart at this point.

When one is in the midst of learning to pray the rosary, it is good not to place expectations for high and mighty things to happen. In the beginnings of engaging in this form of discipline, it is good to allow yourself to make mistakes and focus upon learning the simple ritual of this style of prayer. As you move from being able to recite the prayers by rote and then find yourself able to engage in contemplation, then you may be able to start the practice of meditating upon various sacred mysteries. Until you have met these two milestones, it is sufficient that you put in an honest effort to learn the prayers and spend time mindfully in Dea's presence.

The first step in saying the rosary prayers or the chaplet using these basic prayers is to take the medallion in hand and declare your statement of faith. After this, you move to the next bead and recite the Glory to Dea and the Our Mother. If you are using a standard five decade rosary, there are three beads next. Upon these beads, recite the Hail Marya. After these three beads, there is the first Our Mother bead for the first decade. Here, you recite the Our Mother and declare the holy mystery you are meditating upon. With the chaplet, after the medallion (also known as the terminal) there is the single inviatory bead. Upon this bead, you would recite the Glory to Dea, the Our Mother, and Hail Marya.

The first Our Mother bead of the first group encountered, we then proceed to the Hail Marya beads. (On a Catholic Christian rosary, the Our Mother beads are known as the Paternoster beads and the Hail Marya beads as the Ave beads. Because the Paternoster beads derive their name from the Our Father prayer that is said upon them and the Ave beads derive their name from the Hail Mary prayers said upon them, which in Latin is Ave Maria.) For each of the ten beads in the decade, a Hail Marya is recited. On the chaplet, it would be upon each of the seven beads in the 'week.' When reaching the conclusion of the first grouping of beads, it is time to recite the Glory to Dea and the Daughter prayer. In many cases, these prayers are said holding the thread in the space between the Hail Marya beads and the Our Mother beads.

The next Mother bead starts the process of stating the Our Mother and then declare what mystery you are meditating on, if any. Proceed through the Hail beads in the same fashion as done for the first group. When you reach the end of the final group, you will recite the Glory to Dea and the Daughter prayer before moving to the medallion. On the medallion, you would pray the closing prayer. In most cases, if you are simply praying the basic rosary (be it upon the five decade rosary or the four week chaplet), that prayer would be Hail Holy Queen.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*    The Prayers *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

1. Statement of Faith
   I believe in Dea; the Mother Marya, the Daughter Anna, and Deam Mysterium, three who are One and have no equal. I believe that my soul was create in the beginning and that I turned from grace^[1]. I believe that the virgin Daughter, born of the virgin Mother, lived, suffered unto death, and rose again by virtue of Her Mother's love. I believe that the Daughter shall save all souls and lead them into Heaven. I believe in Dea.


2. Glory to Dea
   Glory to the Mother, the Daughter, and Deam Mysterium, three who are one. Glory be upon You, as it was in the beginning and shall be at the end of all worlds.
   
   
3. Daughter Prayer
   Oh My Lady, forgive us our errors, rescue us from the harsh winds of werde. Lead all souls into Heaven, especially those in most need of Your mercy.


4. Our Mother
   Our Mother, who is in Heaven, holy is Your name. Your realm come. Your will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our errors as we forgive those who err against us. Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil.


5. Hail Marya
   Hail Marya, full of grace, blessed are You and blessed is your holy Daughter Anna. Holy Marya, Mother-God, stay with us now and at the hour of our death.


6. Hail Holy Queen
   Hail Holy Queen, Lady of Mercy. We call to You, poor lost children of Earth. To You we send our weeping, sighs, and laments in this world. Turn, most gracious Lady, Your eyes of mercy towards us and after our exile, show us into the garden of Your Mother's love. Most sweet, clement, and loving Anna, pray for us and make us worth of Your redemption.


7. Closing Prayer
   Oh Marya, whose virgin Daughter has by her life, death, and resurrection delivered us from eternal death, grant us, we beg, that by meditating upon the mysteries of the most holy rosary that we may imitate what they contain nad obtain that which they promise through Anna, our Lady.

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1. The turning from grace is a complex thing. In some Filianic/Déanic communities, it is something akin to the Christian doctrine of original sin. In others, it is an act in search of wisdom and greater knowledge. I ascribe to the second position. It is not a shameful thing as much as an act undertaken to learn more that had unforseen consequences. Errors made in ignorance and upon mistaken information are not shameful, which the turning from grace could be considered to be one. The exile that is referenced in many prayers to the Daughter is not one imposed by Dea but self-imposed by the soul that turned from grace.

The Gift of Tears.

One of my sources of inspiration are the accounts of medieval European lay piety. There are so many little myths of local saints (frequently unrecognized by the Catholic Church, but still adored by the people in that region) that it is really difficult to begin to organize them. In the 13th Century CE^[1], there was a sharp uptick in lay devotions and mysticism within Christianity. A cursory glance over the materials produced from that era and the stories that go back to this era, one finds that women were a very large part of this movement. One also finds that an enormous amount of this body of work focuses upon the establishment of a relationship between the individual and the divine.

Now, some may wonder what this has to do with what I titled this evening's post. Looking at the accounts of Margery Kempe, an English mystic who is honored within the Anglican faith but not in Catholicism (though she was a devout Catholic), there is much written of her frequent weeping for the mercy of her God and begging for his forgiveness of herself and others. This is not something that is only written within her autobiographical writings. It is also recorded to have been evident in female mystics in continental Europe during the era. This weeping was something called the 'gift of tears' by authors of that period.

It is not something spoken of today. It is actually forgotten for the most part in the accounts of mystic experiences and viewed with similar disdain as was done by the more cynical of Margery Kempe's contemporaries. The idea that one could be moved to tears by the force of spiritual experiences is alien to most people today. The idea of mysticism as something other than a blissful experience is something often swept aside by many people who write about it today. (I'm looking squarely at you, David Wolfe.)

Some people within the more ecstatic oriented Christian faiths will admit to being moved to tears, but it is always described as being something done to them by the Holy Spirit. It is something that is viewed as external and imposed upon them. Which, considering the emphasis that sects such as the Pentecostals place upon one's submission to their God's will, is not really much of a surprise. The pagan community treats the gift of tears (which does happen within the mystics of pretty much any faith you can find and those which are emerging) as a shameful secret. It is viewed as some sort of weakness and a sign of hysterics or some kind of mental illness. (There are also vast swaths of the pagan community that views mysticism as identical to mental illness as well, but that is a topic for another day.)

The gift of tears is not something that is strictly motivated by the desire for divine forgiveness and mercy, though it is one of the reasons why a mystic may be moved to tears. It also comes with the emotions of joy, grief, frustration, and pretty much every aspect of how we are moved to tears elsewhere in our lives. The gift of tears is a bit different from that which arises due to the more 'mundane' elements of our lives. Where the stressors of our daily lives can bring us to tears, the gift of tears is something that comes with a very profound sense of the presence of the divine in our lives at the time it happens.

Like Margery Kempe, the mystic who is blessed with the gift of tears has their awareness overwhelmed by the divine. They are moved to weep by the sheer force of the gods. It is an ecstatic experience, though the ecstasy is not necessarily something blissful. It is, also, a very difficult thing to bear. Because, like Margery Kempe, the mystic who bears the gift of tears finds themselves alienated by their peers because it is so vastly different from what others experience and they will be in a position where their piety is challenged and possible accusations of mental illness or seeking dramatic attention are thrown about.

I can not claim that I have this gift. I have known people, however, who do have it. They are not the typical 'cry at the drop of a hat' people, and some of them never have teared up during a movie. Still, when they feel the presence of the divine, it is something that moves them so profoundly that they will weep. They are also people who have an awe inspiring depth of faith and adoration for their gods. When the thought of what their gods have endured and what they do for the world arises, these people do get a bit misty eyed because they can not help the force of emotion that arises from those thoughts.

We should all seek to attempt to emulate that level of faith and empathy for the divine. The heart road that is ruled by Sai Sushuri is a mystic path within Filianism (and related faiths) where the practitoner is urged to feel such love and compassion towards the divine and the world. The gift of tears, when viewed from this context, is perhaps one of the gentlest ways that the divine may lay their hand upon us. To be so overwhelmed by love that one has tears streaming down their face can be a profoundly beautiful experience for the person moved to tears and those witnessing them, think of the mother who weeps when her child is married and they're so filled with love and happiness for their child that they can not help it.

Tears for the sake of faith are not a sign of illness or weakness. They are a sign of strength in said faith and tenderness of the heart. Embrace them when they come to you, for I suspect that everyone at some point in their life will have this blessing come upon them. And recognize that they are truly a gift because they come with the full force of the divine's presence and blessing.

19. Let flow your tears, My children, for they are the beginning of joy. 20. For every tear of true repentance shall dissolve away a thorn, and it shall be as though it had not been.

The Temple of the Heart, The Gospel of Our Mother God^[2]

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1. CE designates Common Era, this is what I use in place of Anno Domni (AD).
2. This can be found online at the following link: http://theapedia.referata.com/wiki/The_Temple_of_the_Heart

For Freyja.

Hail to the Beautiful One!
Hail to the Lady who walks at the water's edge.
Hail to the Vanadis, the Bountiful Heart's Giver.
Hail to She who knows the reason for the seagull's mournful cry.
Hail to She whose tears are laughter and sorrow eternally gleam bright.
Hail to the Mother of Treasures.

Blessed are we to bask in your kind smile.

Atrocity, Evil, and the Gods.

It is easy to believe in the goodness of the Gods when you are safe, comfortable, and operating under the assumption that you are secure in your position. When all is well, it is very, very easy to believe that humanity in inherently good and that all the spirits of the worlds are benevolent. It is a pleasant deception. For many, it is a deception that they operate under for a very long time. It is a kind of ignorance that people mistakenly believe is innocence. Thus, when they talk about a loss of innocence, they are talking about when this state of ignorance is rather abruptly ended.

Sometimes, it ends with a death of a beloved pet. Sometimes, it is the experience of having a taste of the exquisite cruelty that humanity can muster in your life. Or, perhaps, it is witnessing an atrocity of some sort. Humans are very good at tricking themselves into believing that the horrors that happen in the world are all things that can not happen to them because they happen 'far away' or to 'other people.' We can muddle along with that false assumption for a while but something will invariably come along and rip that blindfold off and force us to look at the uglier side of existence.

In theology and metaphysics, the question as to what is the nature of the world brings us to a place where we must define what is 'good' and what is 'evil.' The most basic definition of evil that can be found is suffering. Some may add modifiers to that definition and say that it is conditional suffering wherein it serves no purpose for the person suffering and can not be avoided. Others may add the modifier that it is suffering that is inflicted upon another person for no purpose. The additional things that get defined as 'evil' all are attached somehow to this root concept that it is unwanted, purposeless suffering that we can not avoid.

When we consider things like the causal cruelty of bigotry, it is quite possible to declare it is a form of evil. Looking at that which deprives others of life and well being, it is almost universally agreed that it is a form of evil. Great tragedy that brings grief, pain, and deprivation into the lives of they who are afflicted can be called evil in many cases. The question arises, however, what of those events that are not enacted by human hands? We can look at mass murder and most any person you would discuss this with would agree it is evil. When a large body of people die from disease, malnutrition due to famine, or some form of natural disaster, we find ourselves confronted with the question of "Are the Gods evil for allowing this to happen?" It is a question that comes up even when we consider the acts of atrocity committed by humanity.

The question of 'Why did the Gods allow this to happen?' is not an easy one to answer. I don't pretend to have the answers, only theories. And I acknowledge that my theories are incomplete and lack a great deal of information. To explore this question, though, we need to take a step back and look at what we are questioning. The assumption that is made when we ask why the Gods allowed something to happen is that the Gods have an influence over the event. From this belief, we find ourselves faced with a question: are the Gods omnipotent and do they have the ability to prevent these events from happening? If the answer is yes, the question arises as to why they allowed it. If the answer is no, then we are left to question what the extent of their ability to influence events may be.

These two positions are mutually exclusive, in some respects. Marcus Aurelius wrestles with this problem in his writings. So too did Buddha and many, many other ancient philosophers and spiritual teachers. Judeo-Christian thought argues that God is omnipotent, omniscent, and benevolent. From this argument, the question of evil demands that there is some sort of anti-God being that is the source of these deeds, hence the rise of the figure of the Devil.[1] Alternatively, it is possible to argue that the Gods are not omnipotent, omniscent, and/or benevolent. Many polytheist faiths present the Gods as having some sort of 'flaw' that limits their abilities in some fashion. From their limitations, the existence of evil arises as a confluence of failures, limitations, and deliberate choices by the Gods.

All of this is before you factor in the question of human free will. And this does not even begin to touch the question of predetermination, which is a rather squirrely subset to the free will question. For example, is the rise and fall of nations due to the will of the Gods or the ultimately chaotic, self-centered will of humanity.[2] Much of these questions are going to form the core of any religious worldview. It is good to examine them and consider them. I am beginning to wander away from the general purpose of this discussion, so I'm going to let that bit lie as it is.

No matter where you look, atrocity happens in the world. No matter where you look, there are tragedies unfolding that are both the fruit of human hands and natural forces. In some cases, the tragedies are especially horrific because it is a confluence of both factors. (Starvation in Latin America and the Caribbean is a good example of this, in my opinion. The problems with Zika and Malaria in South America are also good examples of how this comes together.) It is tempting to cast all of the responsibility for these things at the feet of the Gods or spirits of the worlds. Many people do, after all there is a reason why the Devil is a reviled figure. There is a problem with this approach, in my opinion, and that is we can not wash the blood off of our own hands in that fashion.

Far more evil is done by human hands than by the Gods or spirits in my opinion. The man who walked in to the Pulse in Orlando, FL and opened fire committed an act of evil. It is possible that this was done due to factors that he had no control over, I will allow for that. I suspect, however, the likelihood is far higher that he deliberately chose this deed. A person who kills because of a deliberate decision to do so that is made while of relatively sound mind is, in my opinion, far more morally culpable than the one who does so whilst laboring under some form of delusion.

When people ask 'where were the Gods?' and 'why didn't the Gods do anything?' it is my opinion that the Gods witnessed the act of mass murder and aided the people who kept a cool head and did what they could to keep others safe. It is my belief that the Gods enabled people to do the best they could in that situation. It is also my belief that the Gods are not responsible for resolving human cruelty and human evil. Nor are the spirits of the world. It is something that rests entirely within human hands and responsibility. It is easy to blame the Gods for evil deeds done by humanity. No one wants to admit that humans have the capacity for this monstrous behavior.

Until we can acknowledge this capacity for monstrosity, we will continue to blind ourselves to the stressors that create situations that encourage these behaviors. We will deny that the murderer did not act in a vacuum, because it is painful and distressing to see how one person's act of evil can arise within the supposedly civilized context of our own culture (in the case of what happened in Orlando). We will deny that such things are happening about us on a regular basis because we feel safer when we think it can not happen to us. The slaughter in Orlando is the responsibility of the man who pulled the trigger. He did commit an egregious act of evil. The Gods did not push him into this, though.

Is it possible that he was mislead by an 'evil God'? All things are possible, thus I must confess it may be the case. I do not think, however, that is the case. The accounts from those who knew this man all point to him having a history of violence and animosity towards the people he killed. It presents a picture of someone who decided to act on these feelings and in accordance with previous behaviors. It is my belief that most cases of evil deeds are done for this sort of reason.

It leads us to honestly question if humanity is indeed good at the root of their being or not. In watching children and learning something of how they think between my formal education and just observing them, I think that humanity is, at their core, morally neutral. I think we are socialized to behaviors that are considered good and civilized. I think we are taught how to do these things and behave in this fashion. It is my belief that the Gods are our teachers in as many respects as they are ones whom we depend on for the existence of reality, for our very selves. I think that civilization and the concept of 'good' is something they taught us. I also think that they are continuing to refine these concepts and helping us to hone our understanding of them.

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1. The concept of an anti-deity figure can be tracked through the history of monotheism to Zoroastrianism.

2. Humans are, from what I have noticed, generally self-centered, except for when they're not. They're chaotic and hard to predict, often choosing to act in a manner that, from a third party perspective, goes against their apparent well being and long term goals, except for when they're not. Human morality is hard to pin down and is influenced by such a vast number of factors, I honestly can not do the discussion any justice.