Hijabis for Peace?

Dear Reader,

Back when the war in Ukraine started, this meme went around - Babushkas for Ukraine. It's rather waned as that war has dragged on. I try to remember to do it but it's kinda hard when you have a lot of distractions.

I propose we bring that back. Maybe we pick a day that we do this tribute/protest action. And once a week, we wear that babushka in defiance of the apathy that has risen up in the face of a war that has not ended quickly.

In the light of the military action in Gaza, I additionally propose that people who cover their head wear the hijab for peace. This idea hit me today as I was trying to figure out what to wear to cover my head for my pictures on Instagram. (You can find me over there as cydira13)

The day I propose the Filianic and Déanic community who cover their heads to do this is the day of Sai Thamë. She is a Janya of peace and harmony. I would consider wearing the hijab that day as a silent prayer that Sai Thamë intervenes in the world's conflicts and bring peace among all people. If you wish, as you cover, pray for a special focus on specific regions of conflict (i.e. Gaza or Ukraine).
 

Divination: Tarot - Suit of Cups

 Dear Reader,

The suit of cups is associated with the suit of hearts in the standard pack of playing cards. (Plot twist, or not, the standard pack of playing cards used today is based on the minor arcana of the Tarot deck.) The suit of cups deal with emotion and relationships. They have their own famous cards in the suit.

• Two of Cups: Associated with love and the major arcana card of The Lovers
• Five of Cups: Associated with misfortunate, miscommunication, and breakups
• Ten of Cups: The Wish Card, associated with happy life, strong and healthy relationships, and accomplishing dreams

I apologize that I can not post a picture of cup cards from various decks I own. The room I keep my collection in is a disaster.

As you may have seen on Tumblr, I am quite ill.

Dear Reader,

I am quite ill between the pneumonia that has been lasting since, well, I think it was the last week of August I was diagnosed. I've been on three courses of antibiotics. It has been unpleasant because I am exhausted on top of the preexisting sleep problems that have been going on for nearly two years. It is currently 4:21 in the afternoon here and I will need to start working on dinner soon. I have no desire to do anything but sleep. My chest aches but I have had at no point in time since I was diagnosed has an urge to cough. This is deeply concerning because it's pneumonia, you're supposed to cough that gunk out of your chest so you can breathe.

I am trying to kick start my writing mojo back into action but it is really hard to write when you are unconscious. I have been sleeping a good deal of the day. Chores are starting to stack up again. It's rough. Next week, I will be speaking with a sleep specialist about the results of the sleep study and finding out if there's anything they can do about that problem. I will also be talking to my family doctor about this pneumonia business. I am really hoping that we don't have to take the next step and admit me to the hospital to figure this out. I have things to do and kids to mind.

I am doing my best not to worry but it is difficult when you've been sick for approximately two months.

Too many tarot decks? Naw, not enough shelves!

 Dear Reader,

My collection of tarot decks has invaded the living room. I have a box that I keep them in but it is so full it can't close. (For a former box to hold Legos, that's kinda impressive.) I look at my bookshelves and find they're filled to the point of bursting. And so a pile of tarot decks rove around the living room like a Roomba searching for dog poop to scatter everywhere. (I swear from what I have heard and seen, those things are on 'seek and destroy' mode with that.)

Some days, I ask myself why I have so many when I only need is one. And then I sit down and start looking at the artwork. They're all lovely decks for so many artistic reasons. I will peruse the internet to look at the art styles that are popular in current decks. Next thing you know, I have acquired one more deck for the pile. Some would say I have a problem with hording tarot decks. Others would say that I am curating an artistic legacy. All I know is that I love these cards and I need a better storage solution than an old Lego box. I'm considering a rolling cart with drawers. I think I could fill up a small one. If I do that, Beloved is going to laugh at me. But, then I won't have tarot decks everywhere.

Prompt No. 1: The Hardest Part of Faith

 Hello Friends,

Since I have been really struggling to write anything, I've gone to my trusty prompt box and I'm going to work through some prompts until the well fills up with ideas again. Update, for all y'all, I still am sick with walking pneumonia and having a terrible time sleeping. I have a feeling I will be getting poked and prodded at my next doctor's appointment. It is a double whammy of a pneumonia follow up and a diabetes follow up. I'm not terribly optimistic. Ironically, this leads into the prompt for today: What is the hardest part of faith?

The hardest part of faith for me is when the fallow periods hit. It seems like I have been utterly abandoned by my spiritual companions and forgotten by the gods. It hits me when I am in deep depression, which just makes it worse. I tell myself patience and continuing to pray will get me through it, but some of those prayers sound like me asking them if I should unalive myself because of how pathetic of a creature I am. That's really hard. 

Conflating depression induced headblindness (the inability to perceive the Divine in anything) with depression induced suicidal ideation is awful. I don't get mopey, I just sit there numb and question why I was born and if there was a reason for all the hideous abuse I suffered when I was younger. I sit there with those sad, lonely, awful thoughts for a long while and then my need to survive and keep moving kicks in and I am doing things slowly and in fits and spurts, but I start to claw my way up out of the depression. 

About when I clear the depressive episodes, I realize that they were all there and watching me the whole time. I wasn't alone spiritually, I just felt that way because my sickness was interfering with everything in my life.

The Catholic Saint John of the Cross called this type of experience the Dark Night of the Soul. It comes to everyone of faith at some point in their lives. Some of us get to ride that awful merry-go-round a few times a year. It is a terrible ride. I do not recommend it. -2567/10