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Thoughts, lessons, and theology from an eclectic witch from a varied background.

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

Divination Notes: Rune Fehu.

Fehu is a powerful rune, like Ansuz. I skipped out of the alphabetic order I was planning to highlight
this rune that looks visually similar to Ansuz. It is commonly the first letter of the runic alphabets. It is among the runes associated with Freyr. It is the rune of mobile wealth, commonly considered to be cattle or sheep in antiquity. It is the glyph associated with the letter 'F' and is argued to be derived from the Etruscian letter that looks the same as Fehu but the branching lines are reversed along the vertical axis.

Interestingly, Fehu is associated with three rune poems that has an unexpected division in how they assess the rune. The Norwegian and Icelandic rune poems speak of wealth as a source of conflict between kin. The Anglo-Saxon rune poem speaks of wealth as a comfort to all people that should be shared equitably to attain favor with 'the Lord'. Some may argue that the Anglo-Saxon rune poem is speaking of the Christian deity and others argue that it is speaking of Freyr, whose name is translated as 'Lord'. In either case, it speaks of wealth as a boon rather than bane.

In divination, Fehu is generally considered a positive rune. It is one that, when direct, speaks of prosperity and matters of finances in generally favorable conditions. When reversed, however, it speaks of a loss of prosperity and financial challenges. It is separate from the related rune, Othala that speaks of inheritance. Fehu is often used as a shorthand notation regarding finances in spell craft by many modern practitioners.

There is not much evidence that I can find as to how Fehu may have been used in ancient rune magic. It is possible that it was used, but I am confident that it was not in the fashion that modern practitioners do.

Monday, July 10, 2017

Divination: Reading Tarot Example.

I realized in my process of presenting information about tarot reading, I didn't give any examples. So, here is an example of a three card spread that I did for myself.

I realized in my process of presenting information about tarot reading, I didn't give any examples. So, here is an example of a three card spread that I did for myself. This is a spread that is like my usual three card with the card at the extreme left as the past card, the center card as the present, and the card at the extreme right as the future. There is one small difference here, however, which is this spread is being used as a form of spirit communication with the deceased. As I shuffled the cards, I asked the spirit of Stargazer what she felt I needed to know right now.

This was her answer. (A side note, this is the same style of deck that she had and I had admired it greatly. After she passed on, I missed her greatly. Then Beloved was moved to buy this precise deck, unaware that this was the precise deck that Stargazer traded so many readings with me. It was an unexpected touchstone from two individuals that I love deeply.)

Deck: Deviant Moon Tarot by Patrick Valenza
The first card is the Magician. It isn't that clear in this picture, but he has multiple arms. This is something I haven't seen in any other deck. He is literally doing ALL THE THINGS. This is a card that speaks of not merely having ability but mastery and skill. In this reading, the card tells me that I have the abilities that I have been doubting in myself.

The second card is Judgment. It is usually a card indicating a matter of justice or something karmic. Here is the deal, though, with myself and this card. It always indicates something is going on that involves my true self. Here, I'm being reminded to trust in myself and who/what I am.

The third card is the World. This is a card of great success. It is a message that all things shall be well and I can achieve what I am trying to do. There's other layers to this meaning, but they're much more personal.

But, here's an example of a three card tarot reading for you. :)

Saturday, July 8, 2017

Godspousery Notes: Learning all the time.

Hello friends,

It has been a little while since I posted something on this topic. Given things that are happening right now, I think this is more than just a bit timely. I could post about the rambling conversations I've had recently with Loki. They all revolve around the same topics, though. So, the conversations are more like one had over the course of several weeks. He was very strongly pushing me to make sure that I got the help I needed and to make sure that I took all of my medications - along with keeping me on task doing what is healthy for me.

Not everyone who has a relationship similar to mine with Loki have him there reminding them to engage in self-care and making a point of explaining what exactly the problem is. Honestly, it looks like something that is a bit uncommon in godspousery across the board. But, I am not going to complain. I am actually really thankful for it because it is an added level of support that I needed (and will need when the next bad depressive episode comes along.

As I am trying to pick up the pieces from that depressive episode, he is regularly reminding me to pace myself and pay close attention to what is going on with my mood. Little things like my sleep being a bit off and my having a touch of insomnia are things I need to pay attention to because they can be precursors to depression or hypomania (though I'm not sure if hypomania is the right word for it). Loki makes a point of giving me some firm pushes in the directions that would make me healthier when I find myself faltering because of old mental blocks.

As a result of these nudges and conversations, I find myself learning more about myself all the time. It is a strange experience, but all seems to be fore the best, so I do my best not to worry about if I am doing things the Right Way ™. I mention my concerns and he usually points out the one detail that I'm missing that makes the stuff that I was worked up into a ball of anxiety over suddenly seem much smaller and less terrifying. And, honestly, I think that is a big thing in any kind of relationship.

When the partners in the relationship can be honest with each other and say the things that must be said, it helps make the relationship healthy and can benefit everyone in it. It works for corporeal ones too.

Thursday, June 29, 2017

Slow going, but progress.

Gentle Reader,

I am fairly sure that my improved mood today is due to a combination of factors, not the least of which is the good wishes, kind thoughts, and prayers from yourself and the wonders of modern medicine. This combination is clearly an indication of the blessings that are in the world when everything seems to be falling apart, there is still reason for hope.

You may have noticed, last week I got the Southern Hemisphere edition of A Year with Dea to press. Copies are available through all major websites. However, if you go through my links on the Books and Goods page, you will get a 10% discount. This is a printing with moderately large text. I am in the process of determining what exactly a 'pocket' edition would require. It is an idle thought, but one that might be helpful to someone at some point down the road.

I have hit the editing stage with my other major project right now, Drowning in Light. I am working to make this as concise and clear as possible. One may see some influence from some of the writings of Christian mystics in how the text is organized. I found that the way Dame Julian of Norwich's writings were organized and the way the works of Hildegarde von Bingen were structured made a lot of sense. So, I applied it to my piles of notes. I am fairly sure that there is additional notes somewhere in a box that didn't get unpacked when we moved into this apartment eight years ago. And I will probably find them sometime next year when I am looking for something entirely different, because that's always how it works. If I do find more material, a new revision will come out with that material added.

I am in the organizing my notes stage on workbooks. I didn't realize the sheer volume of notes and pre-writing I had done on these topics. If things are a little delayed in getting through the actual process of writing workbooks, it is because I have a stack of paper that fills one of those three inch wide binders, with a small pile of notebooks along side. I feel like I'm slowly going to be consumed by papers and they will accept me as one of their people and never let me return to humanity. (And the kids are not in school right now, so autumn will have even more paper!)

My magical work has been limited right now. This is something that I am working on resolving. The first stages of this process, honestly, is getting things like my health under control. It is a whole heap of baby steps right now. (Like cutting my carbohydrate intake by about half and replacing it with lots of vegetables. It's a good thing I like salads!) My biggest challenge in both the magical working front and improving my health has been my depression. I am optimistic that there are going to be big, positive changes over the next few months. The fact that I have that optimism is a big change.

So, my dear Reader, thank you for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers. I am working my way back to health and producing more work for you. Thank you so much for your patience.

Warmest regards!

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Book Update: Available NOW!

Hi there dear Reader,

After a bit of exasperation and some challenges, the Southern Hemisphere edition of A Year With Dea: A Filianic Daybook is available for purchase. While I am confident that I have ironed out all of the issues, there may be a revision coming on this in a few months. (My anxiety tells me that I missed something huge and very important. Though I have rechecked my work several times. So, I'm going to go back through it in a few months, just to make sure that everything is entirely as it should be.)

The Northern Hemisphere edition will be re-released in a few weeks after I get everything set for the cover art. The plan is to have both books with similar cover art. Presently, I am narrowing down the right picture. Obviously, I am continuing with the theme of roses and celestial backgrounds.

I am also coming down to the finish line on the book that I referenced in both texts: Drowning in Light. If everything goes according to schedule, I may actually finish it by the end of July. My being unwell has delayed pretty much everything I've been working on, including finishing edits and formatting for publication.

Thank you for your patience with me in this process. I will be updating pages and including pictures of cover at as soon as I figure out how to make that work. (My computer has been a bit challenging. I have my expert helping me out, also known as my exceptionally supportive and patient husband. In the process, he has been teaching me how to work this stuff out myself. So, it can definitely be described as a learning process.)

Thank you again.

Monday, June 19, 2017

Godspousery Notes: I am doing what?

It has been a very long weekend for me. Partly because of the fact that there was a wedding that Beloved and I attended Saturday, and the whole day was a comedy of errors. Example: I left my eye glasses in the apartment, so he went in to get them before we left. Then he realizes he left his phone in the apartment. When he comes back out, we realized that my eye glasses were still inside, safely behind the locked front door. It was a bunch of silliness like that for the whole day.

[...]

It is now Monday evening. I am still trying to gather up the spoons to do things. I just haven't been well. I struggle with a massive sense of guilt for this. Loki rather pointedly reminds me "Needs trump opinions." It may sound like a really simple statement that anyone would agree with. I, however, need the reminder as much as my pride says I don't. I tend to default to a low opinion on myself and what I am worth. (It pretty much goes hand-in-hand with my disability and such.) So, when I have a day like today where I was exhausted most of the day and I can't stand to look at myself even obliquely in the mirror, I need the proverbial kick in the pants to pay more attention to the fact that as badly as I may feel about doing things like taking a nap or the daily anxiety medication when there is nothing in particular in that moment requiring the medication, I need these things and that is what matters.

Nothing is quite so unpleasant as when you are called out on neglecting yourself. Especially when you were convinced that you were doing just fine and not doing that. It is even more unpleasant when the reflexive guilt kicks in and then you get picked up by the scruff of the neck and told to knock it off, when you don't realize what you're doing until a few horrified moments later. At which point the guilt thing threatens to start up again and you get a proverbial shake with a second warning.

I could say that everything is fine. Beloved is employed and doing well at work. The boys are almost done with school and everything seems to be going just fine there. Heck, this is the first time in a while that I can say with confidence that I managed not to overspend money when I was doing my necessary shopping. But, I feel awful and I feel awful about feeling awful. It's a recursive state of misery that I hope will be resolved as I work with my new therapist and my psychiatrist.

Loki made a point of nudging me into the path of the new therapist. So, there is no question about what he thinks is going to help me out. I'm sure he's going to point out some other stuff as well. I did, after all, ask for some help and guidance. I am struggling right now. Please forgive me if I am not as cheerful as usual.

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Divination Notes: Runes - Ansuz

The runes are a challenging divination practice. They are one one hand fairly easy to pick up and the base meanings associated with them are simple, single words. At the same time, however, there is a subtle quality to them that makes the runes highly subjective. They are the foundation of the English alphabet (combined with the Latin alphabet) and most of the runes are still in use somewhere in the world, even if it is in some later generation rendering of the glyph.

While many people think of the runes as a shorthand for magical practice, they are actually a full alphabet and it is better to understand them as an alphabet, with the shorthand being treated as acronyms, much like how the individual letters of NASA are associated with separate words (and separate, discrete1 concepts). Many people start their study of the runes with the rune Fehu. I am beginning with the rune Ansuz. This choice is because it corresponds with the letter 'A' of the modern English alphabet and will be easier to remember if we follow the alphabetical order we are familiar with in studying this ancient system of letters.

Ansuz is written in a few different ways, depending upon which runic system you are looking at. The glyph is considered by many to be derived from the neo-Etruscian character that later became 'A' in the Roman alphabet, which is in turn believed to be derived from the Phonecian aleph. There is some debate as to the meaning of this rune. Different rune poems and different cultural perspectives gave rise to a series of different ways to interpret this rune, even though is most cases it was for the same letter in the alphabets of these peoples. The Norwegian rune poems indicate that Ansuz means estuary. The Anglo-Saxon rune poems indicate that it means either mouth, oak, or ash (presumably the tree) depending upon which particular variation of the Ansuz rune is used. Interestingly, in one of the Icelandic rune poems, Ansuz indicates one of the Aesir, more specifically Oðin.

Various 'experts' on runic divination have indicated that Ansuz can be a rune interpreted as signals from the gods, communication, or as an indication of the presence of the gods. In my personal experience, Ansuz can indicate communication on its own. When it comes up in a reading with Gebo, it suggests positive or beneficial communication for the querant. If it comes up with Haglaz, it suggests muddled communication at best, at worst arguments. If Ansuz shows up in a reading with the rune Isa, it is showing failed communication or a lack of communication.

I use the term 'experts' rather loosely here because the number of people who speak and use the ancient dialect is exceptionally small. And that number does not include anyone who learned it directly, as all is a careful reconstruction done with their best guesses. Thus, I have taken the liberty of going with what I can establish based on prevailing theories. My interpretations present above, however, are based upon my experience reading them for the better part of two decades. As the popular saying goes, your mileage may vary.

~*~*~*~*
1. My use of the word 'discrete' here is in the sense of individual defined units, similar to how it is used in mathematics.