6th? No, 7th day of Moura: Brain Fog Hates Me.

Dear Reader,

I looked at my calendar and realized that I was a day off in my posts. I've been having a lot of brain fog over the last week due to my not feeling well. The week right before the start of Moura, I had a medication change to my diabetes medicines. Since then, my blood sugar hasn't been right and I haven't felt very well physically. This has had a negative impact upon my mood, which was already not too great because of seasonal affective disorder and complex post-traumatic stress disorder making me miserable. There's been a lot of brain fog where I've been completely forgetting to do important things. It makes me feel bad and guilty for being sick like this.

A vicious part of me, that is an echo of one of the people who is the reason why I have c-ptsd, keeps telling me that I am lazy and good for nothing. Regardless of the fact that when my blood sugar runs high, I get sleepy and I've had at least one migraine over the last two weeks. I'm working with my doctor to get this medication stuff sorted out. It doesn't help that this problem was created by the health insurance company randomly deciding that they weren't going to cover the combo medication that they had been covering for the last year. Now I'm taking the combo medication in its component parts and when that started, things got off kilter. It's kinda scary and I'm trying very hard not to listen to the harpy in my head shrieking that I'm worthless and such.

The project of cleaning the kitchen is complete except for vacuuming the floor. I can't figure out how to put this brand new contraption together. I've run the little sweeper over it, but it hasn't made much of a difference. Aside from that, there's the usual tasks of dishes and cleaning out the fridge (which I do every Wednesday so that there are no science experiments to find in there).

I haven't been keeping up very well on my prayer journal writing. I pray, but I forget to write. I have not been working on my transcription project. By the time I remember to work on these things, the kids are getting home from school and we're off to the races. My sense of time has been skewed because of the brain fog. I'm trying to compensate for it, but it's not working so great.