Dear Reader,
Today found me restless and unsettled. I did my best to ground and center myself. Then I realized that there were some things bothering me on a deeply profound level. So I wrote about it and took action. It was as if a great weight had been lifted off of my chest. I anticipate that some of the fall out from the action I have taken is going to be a bit messy, but Moura is the time for cleaning up messes, I suppose.
I was going to work on finishing up the kitchen today but I had to service my sweeper. I pulled out enough hair to make a small dog out of it. I do not have a small dog or a furry pet of any kind. It was a rather disgusting experience, to be honest, but necessary so that I can get more cleaning done. I have my daily chores that are going on a haphazard way right now. It's been hard for me to focus (as I mentioned earlier) so I have been bouncing from task to task.
I am struggling with my Seasonal Affective Disorder still. Great waves of grief roll over me along with powerful surges of anxiety. My chronic nightmares have gotten worse over the last week which makes me suspect that I have some form of trauma memory attempting to break through. Yay c-ptsd, am I right? As the grief and anxiety hit me, I do my best to roll with it. I try to allow myself some time to sit with these emotions and then give them to the Gods to handle.
Today's been harder than the other days. I am not get as much done in the sense of physical house cleaning as I wanted. (The pile of laundry to sort and fold is almost as tall as I am, despite my sorting and folding it.) I am just doing my best to trust that the Gods have my best interest in mind and keep plugging away at my day. I trust Them, myself not quite so much. I'd post more, but I have a few more chores to do before the kids get home from school.
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