Oh how the last several days have been exhausting and vexing. I suppose I was doing ok up until the point where this theme developed Friday evening that had stuff flipping off tables and falling over for no apparent reason. I'm torn between chalking this up as yet another manifestation of my spectacular ability to be clumsy. (If there's just one crack in the floor, I will be the person to find it and trip over it. I also fall up stairs. I'm talented like that.) This theme has carried over into today, though I did not wind up losing lunch or dinner to it.
At the same time I am considering if this is the fruit of my own fumble thumbs, a friend of mine suggested it could be Somebody looking to get my attention. I haven't been doing as much in the devotional work with the dead over the last little while or so. I have been spinning my wheels trying to get all of the mundane details of housework, children's educational matters, and my psychiatric health business dealt with. It has made it difficult to do much else.
While Ingvi and Loki are both very present, I have been feeling a bit cut off from everything else. I could make some trite comment about the state of the stars is interfering with my life. Honestly, however, that really doesn't cover it. Things in my life tend to happen independently of what planet is in retrograde or what sign the Moon is located in at the moment. It just doesn't appear to hold much active sway in my life. Instead, I think it is just a case of my having ten thousand things on my plate and stuff falling out of my view because I'm overwhelmed.
In a perverse manner, the physical/mundane world chaos makes the psychic background noise harder to hear, thus it gets more quiet on that front in many respects. I guess it is a case of my brain filtering things out so that I don't get even more overwhelmed. It makes sense. Still, I think that there are signs that there is still a good amount of activity going on. I can't say for sure if the stuff falling over and such was one. But I have noticed my plants taking on strange changes over the last few weeks. (Accelerated growth in a few cases and one dying by just withering like it hadn't been watered, despite my keeping it well taken care of. The soil in that last case is always dry to the touch, it is really weird.)
I have been feeling the urge to shift things around on the altar and get some work done outside to tidy up the outdoor shrine. I have been feeling the urge to get busy gardening. Usually that isn't such a big deal, but there feels like there is something more behind this. There is a deeper push at play here that keeps putting plants that would be well suited to my growing conditions in my path, at some of the oddest places by the way. The gas station doesn't usually have plants for sale, but yet a few days back someone was offering me a few peonies for a few dollars.
I am going to try to act on the urges to get into the dirt and grow some stuff. I am also going to do something about my altar. It is cluttered and feels generally unready. So, when the kids are at school Monday, if I have the energy, I am going to clean it off and reorganize it. It is a bit past due for that to be honest.
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