I am mildly vexed,

Dear Reader,

The last two days have been the revenge of the head cold. My sinuses have been aching. My ear's are ringing. And I can't seem to stop blowing my nose. Plus I am exhausted. I had stuff I wanted to get done. And here I am, drinking hot beverages in the hopes it will soothe my sore throat and encourage the stuff in my head to drain out. I am not a joyful and happy camper right now.

I honestly thought I'd be over this thing by now. I was starting to feel better earlier this week. Then it all slammed into me again. Maybe I have caught another virus. I'll be really happy when my sinuses aren't so swollen that they randomly go squeak. It's the worst. I apologize for the TMI on that one. I'm not quite on point right now because I am still sick.

In the midst of this, I have been editing The Unabridged Filianic Devotional. There's going to be two versions. The first one is called the Universal edition and it will include a devotional journal. That'll be one line per day for the whole year. The second one is called the Condensed version that doesn't include the devotional journal. I will also be making the devotional journal available as its own text after some tweaks to it. (I want to throw in some quotes from the Clear Recital to provide inspiration and comfort.)

It is shocking how bad my hand writing gets when I am writing in a rush. I'm typing my next text. It was kinda fun to do this thing by hand, but for the sake of my sanity, I think I'll be typing my next book's first draft.

No witchery post today.

Dear Reader,

Today has been hectic and I'm still a bit under the weather. I will strive to get back to my regular posting schedule tomorrow, provided this fever breaks and I actually get a decent night's sleep. I'll be so happy when this head cold goes away.

Filianic month of Brighe!

Dear Reader,

We are currently 3 days into the Filianic month of Brighe. I'm a little behind schedule with everything that's been going over here at my house. The month of Brighe is named for the Janya Brighe. Brighe is a janya of transitions and liminal spaces. She is the guardian of bridges, doorways, and similar places. The month of Brighe has two low holidays in it. Brighe 11 (February 2nd in the Gregorian calendar) is the holy day of Luciad (known in the Janite tradition as the Feast of Divine Light). This is the date where the Holy Daughter takes on her Fate. The other low holiday is on Brighe 28 (March 19 on non-leap years, March 18 on leap years) is the Filianic equivalent of Mardi Gras, Moura Eve.

Brighe is the final month of the season of Winter. It is the transitional period between the ordinary calendar year and the season and month of Moura. This is a time marked with preparations for Moura and with celebration of the incarnate Daughter. During the holy day of Lucaid, candles for the year are blessed to carry the light of Dea in our lives symbolically and literally. If one hasn't enough candles for said blessing, it is good to bless one candle for this purpose and ritually pass the live flame from it to the next candle when it burns low. This is similar to the fire festival of Sai Herthe's day, where the hearth flame is ritually relighted with the sacred light of Dea. While many of us lack a hearth, a candle can serve such a purpose equally well.

Divination: Tarot Tour - Major Arcana No. 17 - The Star

Image Via Wikipedia.com

This week's featured card is The Star. The card depicted comes from the Rider-Waite deck, the deck that is the basis for most of the modern 'standard' tarot decks. The image features a young woman pouring water from two pitchers. The first pitcher on the right pours out streams onto the earth, one of which joins the pool of water. The second pitcher pours into the pool of water. The young woman is kneeling with one foot on the land and one in the pool. Above her head is one large eight rayed star with seven smaller eight rayed stars around it. A bird is depicted on the tree behind her, said to be an Ibis.

After all the darkness and confusion of the prior cards, the Star is a breath of fresh air. This is a card of hope and new beginnings. It is a card of wishes coming true. It is a card of innocent bearing and the accidental wisdom of others from haphazard comments that bear fortunate fruit. This is one of the rare cards that has no negative connotations in the reversed orientation. It only indicates that hope is delayed in arriving, but it is still on its way.

In the Fool's journey, the Star is a sign of redemption and renewal. It is hope for new beginnings.

Posting on hold this week.

Dear Reader,

Due to a combination of factors (the kids having off from school two days this week, my having a nasty cold, and familial duties), I am stepping back from blogging this week so that I can stay on top of "real life" stuff. In other news, I didn't realize that my sinuses could be so plugged and yet still be able to smell the horrible scent of burnt hair. I offered some of the fiber I had spun in a burnt offering to the gods. The smell of burnt hair didn't clear my sinuses out but it was definitely strong enough to make me think burning the offering may not be the best method. The scent of burnt wool smells the same as the scent of burnt human hair, by the way. (The latter I learned by misadventure when I was young. I didn't need a haircut because of it, but it was a thing. Always keep your hair pinned back when dealing with open flame, even if you think it is too short to be caught.)

Thank you for your patience. See you next week.

Book Progress Notes: The Unabridged Filianic Devotional

Dear Readers,

I have a project that is now almost ready for edits. It is a devotional book divided up by season. The first half of the book is a collection of devotional poems and prayers for the year based upon the days of the week and the holidays of the seasons. I have attempted to make this as complete of a list of holidays as I can. It's taken a bit of research, which was the longest part of this project. I tried to list all of the holidays for the major Filianic sects that are presently known to the public.

The second section of the book is a daily prayer journal with space for a single line entry for a given day. It is organized via the orthodox Filianic calendar, but in the appendix, I will be listing the alternate calendars I'm aware of and their correspondence with the orthodox Filianic calendar. I will also have a section denoting the differences in titles for the Janyati from the different publicly known sects.

I will not be writing prayers for every day of the year in the second section. I will, however, be making each weekly page of prayers have a quote from the Clear Recital. It is my hope to have this completed and off to the printer by Eastre.

I know that there are things that will be missing from this book. I ask that my readers contact me with what holy days are missing from this book so that the next edition is more complete. Currently, I am working on finishing up the first section of the text (which I am writing by hand). I'm almost to the beginning of Moura. I anticipate that the editing process will be relatively painless, provided I don't have another head cold. The month of Brighe is going to be a month of work for me but I think it will go well.

Creating your own Herbal (pt 1 / 3)

Dear Reader,

It may be that you have a love for green things. It may be that you have a pervasive curiosity about how to use those green things in your magical workings. If that is the case, you may want to keep a record of your experiments and use of green things. That sort of book is called an herbal. Now, herbals have been kept since antiquity. Some of the earliest known records of how plants are identified and used date back to the ancient Egyptians and the Romans. In many ways the format of the modern herbal was established by Linnaeus and his works discussing plant life. But, these books were influenced by their predecessors going back to the writings of Pliny and others.

Herbals hit peak popularity in Europe with the rise of printing (specifically moveable type). They are experiencing a resurgence in popularity with the increased use of alternative medicines based in the use of plants. If one is looking to purchase an herbal for the sake of knowledge and getting some manner of an idea how to use a wide range of plants, the author recommends M. Grieve's A Modern Herbal. While this text is dated, the author has yet to encounter another modern herbal that is as complete in its discussion of the plants contained therein.

Creating your own herbal is a challenge. One must first identify the plant they are working with. The Audubon Field Guides to North American plants are an excellent resource to identify the plants in North America (the author's home region). In the identification process, one must determine the toxicity of the species in question. Some plants and fungi are so toxic that handling them with out gloves is not recommended. Notation on the identification of the plant and its toxicity is vital for safe usage of the plant.

Following this, one must consult other established herbals and books that use wild foraged plants for recipes. It is possible to copy recipes from these sources, but the author just finds it easier to keep a copy of the source material on hand. This is part of the reason why the notebook that was supposed to be a self-made herbal has a total of a half dozen entries. The practice of copying notes can be meditative and relaxing, for some people, and there is merit to having the recipes that you use the most in one notebook instead of having to search through a small library to find out how to make something such as rosewater.

Godspousery notes (belated)

Dear Reader,

I was going to post this last weekend but I had a three day migraine and I was busy with my children. It's been a hectic time since Nativity and Yule ended. On Mother's Night, also known a the winter solstice, I was instructed by Freyr to spend my time in rest. I wasn't feeling too great and I just didn't have the spoons to argue with him. He told me to do only the work that was necessary for running the household and let the rest sort itself out.

As a result, I found myself spending time on things like preparing for my family's Yule celebration. We celebrate the 13 days of Yule at the same time as Nativity is observed. It just makes things easier calendar wise. So far, the gods haven't objected to this. If anything, they seem to encourage this practice because it works out so well. When the work of getting ready for Yule was finished, which went surprisingly quickly, I spent my days doing embroidery and my evenings doing crochet. Below are the things that I made over the time between Mother's Night and Epiphany.

 This table scarf is something that took up most of my time. I finished it the day after Epiphany because Epiphany day was full of chaos due to things like our heater breaking over the weekend before. I was wrapped up in blankets and shawls as I was stitching and praying that my betta fish would not get too cold. Loki suggested a hot water bottle beside the tank and a scarf wrapped around it to keep the heat in. Wouldn't you know it, that fish was right up by the warm side of the tank for the whole day as the HVAC repairman was at work in the basement of the building.

This square shawl had me working up until Duodecima. It is nice and cozy. I worked on it every evening after the sun went down and I had finished dinner. Some of it was a bit vexing because the light purple colored yarn kept trying to split on me, but it was a generally relaxing project.

There was one other project that I did. It has a bit of a story behind it and ties into the things that Freyr and Loki told me to focus on during the period of time between Mother's Night and Epiphany. They told me to focus on my family. I was struggling with pretty intense depression at the time and feeling the absence of my side of the family (from whom I am estranged for various reasons). I was also mourning the loss of my paternal grandparents and the holidays passed that I spent with them.

Because Freyr told me to relax, I decided that I was going to finish a project that my late grandmother had started. It was this pillow case with the tuilps on it. You can tell pretty clearly in the difference of the weight of thread used where her stitching is and where mine is. As I worked on it, I could feel something of her presence with me. When I had it done, I laid it aside and declared that my working on it was a gift for her and my Disir. This was something that Freyr highly approved of and told me that such a gift of heartfelt effort is always appreciated.

I know that the table scarf is going to be used as an altar cloth. The shawl, I'm not so sure what it's final home is going to be. I have quite a few shawls now that I've made so many. I'm debating selling it. Freyr has been decidedly quiet on the matter. I think his feeling is I made it, I decide what happens with it. And the pillow case, well, I'm going to keep that.

Over the entire period of Yule and Nativity, I was struggling with depression. I had the good fortune of these things to keep me focused on the present and my family. My children have expressed interest in learning how to sew because of seeing me do so much needlework over their vacation from school. I'm probably going to introduce them to hand sewing before using a machine. Just because I still have to figure out what's wrong with the tension on my sewing machine. Loki suggests that it is set too low and that is why it's not picking up the thread off of the bobbin. When my sewing machine wasn't working at all, he said it was the bobbin 'thingy' that was the problem and he was right. I'm sure he's correct this time. He's got a good eye for figuring out where the snarls in a situation are, even when he doesn't create them. I think that's why he's often the problem solver for the gods.

I feel silly posting about my very domestic life with the gods. I don't do high rituals or such for them. I just love them, pour out offerings for them, and listen to what they have to share. It seems the simplest form of godspousery because it's almost exactly like my relationship with Beloved. We give each other love gifts, frequently express our affection for each other, and listen to what we have to share at any given time. That's what makes the relationship work. And we make a point of doing our best not to go to bed mad. Kinda the same thing for the deity relationships.

Practical Witchery: Egregore vs. Deity (pt. 1)

Dear Reader,

In a past post, I discussed the relationship between Egregores and Servitors. This week, I wanted to introduce the relationship between Egregores and Deities. There are many in the ceremonial magic community, including chaos magic workers, who argue that Deities are another form of Egregore. I object to this argument on the basis that Deities have greater reach and more influence than Egregores. As I mentioned before, an Egregore is a group produced thought-form that has been elevated to the spiritual plane. It is powered by the focused will and concentrated spiritual energy of the group. Deities are not.

A Deity is an independent spiritual being that is a literal force of nature ensouled. They have independent agency and free will. An Egregore is limited to what it is programmed to do by the group that created it. Deities have no such limitations. Egregores will manifest strictly as the group has mandated them. Deities will manifest however they choose to reveal themselves. Deities have their own plans, interests, and operations to engage in. Egregores lack this ability.

An Egregore is like a very complex AI. It can simulate a Deity to a limited extent if it is programmed to do so. But it only operates within the limitations of its programming. Now, one may wonder why I bring this specific point up. There are cases where Egregores grow beyond the group that created it and get 'loose'.  This makes telling the difference between a Deity and an Egregore that is programmed to be similar to the Deity a bit challenging. One must look at the behavior of the spiritual being in question. Is it repetitive? Does it deviate from the known behaviors of the Deity in question? Is it limited in what it can do/know in a given situation that is under the auspices of the Deity in question? If the answer to these questions are yes, it is quite likely that one is not dealing with the Deity but a simulation of them.

There are Egregores that are created to simulate the good qualities of a Deity. There are Egregores that are created to simulate the more questionable qualities of a Deity. In either case, the Egregore lacks the subtly and authenticity of the actual Deity it is simulating. It will only give answers to questions that it is programmed to find answers to. It will interact only in the fashion it is programmed to do. There are spectacularly complex Egregores that can fool the inexperienced into thinking they are dealing with a Deity out there. There are a collection of them based upon the Marvel!Loki concept, conflated with the actual god Loki.

Where the Marvel!Loki is generally malicious towards humanity, seeking to subjugate them and generally plays out its interactions like the character from the comic books and movies, the deity Loki is more prone to being friendly towards humanity or indifferent at worst. The interactions with Loki range wildly from loving and kind to severe and stern. The trickster god of the Norse pantheon is generally not an abusive deity, despite what Marvel and other sources have portrayed him. Loki is chaos ensouled. He is the entropy that keeps the universe from collapsing in to stagnation and oblivion. While some of his chaos is unpleasant, it is almost always necessary in some fashion. Marvel!Loki, on the other hand, is always unpleasant and the chaos created by this Egregore is always harmful, that's how the character was written.

Some may ask, aren't Deities the same thing as Egregores just on a larger scale? That is the position that many people take. I disagree with it because I have seen evidence that Egregores are severely limited in their capacity despite how much thought gets put behind them when they are compared to deities. A super powered computer is still a computer despite how much horsepower and complex programming you put to it and it will still suffer the limitations of being a computer.

Divination: Tarot Tour - The Tower

This week's card is the Tower and it comes from The Witches Tarot by Ellen Cannon Reed and Martin Cannon. The Tower is a card that has a well earned reputation for trouble. At its most benevolent aspect, the Tower speaks of sudden, painful illumination and revelations that force growth. At its most negative aspect, the Tower speaks of catastrophe.

This card is generally considered to be positively aspected when it is upright, but depending on its position within a reading it can still carry the heavy weight of its negative elements. Reversed is always negatively oriented and can speak of yet greater challenges depending on where it falls in a spread. This is a card to be regarded with caution when it pops up in a reading.

In the Fool's Journey, the Tower is a place of reckoning where the Fool faces the major crisis of their journey. As we know, all stories have their crisis and climax moments. This is one of them for the Fool and possibly the querent who is getting their reading.

All Gods Have A Mother.

Dear Reader,

I have been sitting on this for the last two years. It has partly been because I was under a taboo not to speak of it and partly because I was in dread of the reception it would get. Now that we are sitting here on the possible eve of world war three, my dread of being roasted by people in the comments doesn't look as terrifying. Additionally, I've been given permission by the deity who revealed this to me to share it.

First thing is first, this did not come from Loki or Loki wearing Frey's visage as a disguise. While Loki will pull stunts and play 'gotcha', this was a legit thing. Because he was right there beside Frey as he was explaining this, nodding his head like a bobble headed doll. Secondly, the message behind this goes farther than what the words say by themselves. Give it a read, think about it, and then read it again. Finally, this is not verbatim what Frey told me. There are parts of this that I am still not allowed to discuss.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

All gods have a mother. Those mothers have mothers going back until the beginning of ages. For many, the mother of gods has been forgotten. It is something that has been lost into antiquity because you no longer can read the signs of your ancestors for they have been worn away by wind, rain, and time. This, however, does not make this less valid.

There is some memory of this in the creation stories of the world's old religions. Even a trace of this memory is shown in the creation story of the Christians. The creation story of the Heathen faiths varies some in the telling and in the details of how it happened. It is a very old story and old stories grow with time.

Long ago, before all things were, there was a place where there was fire and there was ice. Between them stood a gap, vast and deep. The fire warmed the ice and the waters fell into the gap of nothingness. In this place, standing upon the ice was Audhumla, a cow of the ancient kind, wild and fearsome. Some say that Ymir was freed from the ice and they were the first present. These people would say that Ymir thirsted and waited for the fire to free Audhumla. She, however, was present before Ymir.

Aldhumla drank of the melt-waters and licked the salt of the ice of what became known as Nifheim. She warmed herself from the fires of what became known as Muspelheim. As the melt-waters diminished and the ice was licked away, Ymir was brought forth. Ymir bore their children as they slept after the nourishment from Aldhumla. As Ymir slept, Buri was brought forth from the ice. Nourished by Aldhumla, Buri waxed hale and found one of Ymir's daughter's fair. They had a son, Bor. Bor found a wife in one of Ymir's granddaughters, Bestla, and they had three famous sons, the eldest being most famous. His name is known even today among the world of Midgard when so many have been forgotten. I am not here to speak of that, however.

Aldhumla is the mother of gods in the creation story of the faith of followers of heathenry. For they were born from ice by her deeds. None speak of Aldhumla and the great good she had done for all life. Aldhumla has been forgotten in all but name. But the mother of gods can be found elsewhere for she has ten thousand names that are remembered and many, many more that have been forgotten.

One may ask, what did the mother of gods do when her children grew to no longer need her nourishment and nurturing? She watched them set out and engender themselves to discover their wyrd. And when the time of all things passes, the gods shall all return to her and be embraced. Aldhumla will welcome her children back and listen to their tales of their adventures and tragedies.

As apple trees bear apples and cherries their own fruit, gods are born of gods. Tread gently upon the faith of others, for those gods are distant kin to your own. If not for the sake of peace and frith, do so for the sake of the ancient mother of all gods. For she is your mother as well.

Please join me in prayer for peace.

Dear Reader,

This wasn't the post that I had planned for today. It will be written later, if I have the time this evening. But, right now, I have an ardent plea. Please join me in praying for peace as we stand on the verge of yet another war. I fear that this war will come with a greater cost than any of us can imagine if it happens. Thus, I pray to all the gods that would listen to me to prevent it.

Please, join me. Pray to what ever deity you wish. Let us petition the mighty ones for their mercy and aid. Human hands commit atrocities. War is an atrocity and must not happen. May it be that those who call for it to happen have their words lost before they reach their lips. May it be that those who seek for ways to force it to happen have their deeds fail before they may be committed. And may it be that the gods who love humanity reach forth and bring peace into this troubled world where it is desperately needed.

Blessed be.

Wishing you all a blessed Epiphany!

Dear Readers,

Yule and Nativity are complete. It was a time of family and rest for my household. I spent my days working on my embroidery and my evenings doing crochet and meditating. I have one last bit of my embroidery to finish up and I think I'll have it done by this evening's end, if my children let me.

Advent was a challenging time for me. Partly because of my ongoing struggle with seasonal affective disorder caused depression and partly because of the enormous amount of effort was put in to prepare for the holidays. I also have been struggling with my computer and only recently gotten things back into some semblance of order. The manuscripts I was working on over October and November were put on hold. Now that the season of rest and celebration has passed, I am picking up the pen again.

It will be a little bit rocky as I try to get back into the swing of daily posting even as I am catching up on essentially two weeks worth of housework. I put my faith into the gods that they will guide and help me going forward as they always have.

Some of my posts going forward are going to be a bit different from past content. In some ways, I am going back to my roots. In others, I am revealing things that I have kept quiet because of my uncertainty and tendency towards being a somewhat shy and retiring individual. Still, there are things burning on my breast that I must express. I'm performing divination to determine if a few specific taboos have been lifted. If they have been, I will be explaining some things about my personal theology that are more than a little off the beaten path.

I hope that you will join me for the adventure of 2020 and that the holy mysteries continue to bring you comfort during the times of challenge that arise.