Godspousery Notes: Sit down and rest, dammit.

Dear Reader,

I'm at that awkward point where you begin to feel a burst of energy and like you just might have enough in you to jump back into your usual routine. And then you try and you have to sit down and take a break. Each time you try. I've been doing low impact activity. I even made a point of not dithering and fretting over Beloved working on dinner in the kitchen. (I get like that when ever it isn't me cooking. Yay anxiety issues.)

Now, you'd figure since I was doing things like working on my transcription project and crochet that I wouldn't be quite so worn out. I look around and see piles of things I really need to get taken care of. And each time I start to get up to do so, I've got Freyr giving me a stern look. Then I wonder what to do with myself and either turn back to the transcription project or my crochet.

Apparently their efforts to do Moura stuff with me is enforcing that I sit down and rest when I need it, as well as inspiring some curious things when I meditate. Like my accidental, happenstance related fasting from red meat for a week and they say to me, "Do you feel better for fasting now?" I feel like I'm doing Moura wrong. They keep telling me that I shouldn't be expecting this to be the same thing as Lent, because it is an entirely different animal.

The accidental, happenstance related chastity is frustrating. Again, they ask, "Do you feel better for this restriction now?" The answer to these questions have been, "No, I don't." Then they reply with a simple question: What is the point of Moura? Moura is a time of purification. Moura is a time of spiritual discipline. It is a time to align ourselves with Our Lady in her journey down into the lands of death.

My rote answers, however, gets me a rather arch look and expressions of droll amusement. The forced time of rest and recovery while I am working on getting over the flu has done more for my spiritual discipline than all of the scrubbing that I have been doing. It has forced me to sit down and pay more attention to my spirit. It has forced me to sit down and pay more attention to my prayer life. And it has lead me to deeper study of the scriptures of the Filianic faith.

Loki prods me to work on my prayer shawl. (He insists that the color is perfect for Moura despite the fact that it is fuchsia. Because fuchsia is an optical illusion that happens when you put the colors from the opposite ends of the spectrum beside each other. In the right light, it looks a rather queer lavender sheen or it has a bright pink glow to it. But the light has to hit it at just the right angle for either of these to be apparent. Generally morning light brings out the pink and evening light brings out the lavender.) He sits with me and keeps me company as I work.

Freyr pushes me to work on my personal discipline in caring for my health. He insists that as an incarnate soul, I should take care of my body and mind with great consideration. Freyr insists that it is as much spiritual discipline as it is mundane discipline for the sake of my health.

And then there is the scripture study. As I am transcribing and reading, I find myself drawn deeper into contemplation of the holy text. As I am resting and writing, I somehow find myself praying to see clarity in these words that I copy. Loki and Freyr will sit with me and ask questions of the text. It's an odd thing to have them point out parts that I should read over again and copy with great care. I never had expected this.