Veiled Witch Videos: It's Advent already?!

 

This weather is stupid. Go home, Nature, you're drunk.

 Dear Reader,

It seems I've caught my son's cold and I'm dealing with pre-migraine symptoms because the temperature is going to jump from in the 20s tonight to near 50 deg F. These wild swings always give me migraines and render me useless. All I can do is lie in a dark room and wait for the medicine to kick in. And sometimes, it's not quite enough. It's all a crap experience. I have ocular migraines. The vision in my right eye goes blurry and then I feel like light is stabbing me in the face. I don't recommend it to anyone.

All of this leads me to confusion as to the arguments that the visions of Hildegarde von Bingen were because of chronic, untreated ocular migraines. I've read a fair amount about her visions and compared them to what we know of ocular migraines. There's only the loosest connection that she had a headache and had to lie down in a darkened room. The rest of it just doesn't line up. Her visions are intensely detailed and dreamlike in quality. But they are not the same as what modern evidence of ocular migraines are like.

Yes, I am one of those who fall on the side of the ledger who say that either the Saint had psychosis or her visions are legit. I lean more towards legitimate insights. They're too organized collectively and internally to really qualify as psychosis. (That's an experience I don't wish on anyone. Did that as part of my post partum depression, it was awful.) 

Now, let's take a moment to look at the psychosis argument. If you are having visual and auditory hallucinations that are helping you become a better person and encourages you in your faith, is this a problem? No, they're harmless and, actually, to some extend beneficial. If your psychosis experience is discouraging your efforts to be healthy, to be a better person, and encouraging you to grow in your faith, this is a sign of dysfunction. 

From everything I have read of Hildegarde von Bingen's writings, there is no sign of dysfunction. It leads me to question of the psychosis argument, I wonder if it is counting on the popular opinion that psychosis is bad/dangerous and is an attempt to discredit Hildegarde von Bingen posthumously. 

I've got nothing witty or insightful today.

Dear Reader,

I was all set to write a post for some economical tricks you can use in your occult practices but that went out of my head as it became clear that I have some serious problems to deal with regarding access to some of the diabetes medication. Please forgive me for a moment as I veer a hard left from the typical topic matter of this blog.

Insurance companies are retconning decisions made by doctors on the basis of money, not anyone's health. We've struggled to get medications approved when suddenly they denied me access to something I had been on for the last four years. There was no reason given, just an imperious decree that I am no longer allowed to take that medication. I know I'm not the only person this happens to. There are literally millions of people with chronic illnesses that the insurance company yanks the rug out from under them on a daily basis.

Throw in on top of this supply chain issues and it gets ugly fast. Some people say this is all because of Covid. I think that Covid ripped the mask of security off of the pharmaceutical industry. I think these problems have always been with us. Covid made some of them worse. But, having our health held hostage by insurance companies that can randomly say we can't have our medication with out having to explain why is bullshit. For a long time I have said that health insurance is a protection racket. Sure, you could try to go with out insurance. That's how we lost all our savings when I first got diagnosed with my illnesses. We are slowly building it back up, since we have got the govt. run health insurance through the state, but it's going to take a while.

(Yes, I am disabled. No, I don't get Social Security. They decided I wasn't disabled enough to qualify.) 

I am at a loss because of this post migraine nonsense.

Dear Reader,

I was going to come up with a divination related blog post for you today. The problem is I had a migraine last night as a front moved through and being post-migraine makes it hard for me to put together words in a way that actually conveys what I want to express. It is highly frustrating, as well as the lingering mild headache that makes my ears ring.

To my friends in the Filianic community what special plans do you have for Advent and the holy days of the month of Astrea. (Forgive any misspellings, I can't quite see right.) One of my big plans is cleaning as much of this apartment as I possibly can. This way we just might find room for a real Nativity tree.  We have a 1 ft. fake tree that we've been using for years and it is beginning to show it's age. If I have to find a tiny wee beastie of a treelike plant, I'm going to hunt down a rosemary bush. Or, maybe I will be lucky and find a sapling of a conifer species.

Today is the Full Moon (my family call it the Hunter's Moon because hunting season for big game happens this month). I hope that Déa will forgive my lack of bread and wine to offer. I do, however, have coffee and a delicious cookie. It a very lax version of the Rite of Sacrifice, but I am not feeling well. I am sure that Mother forgives all faults and understands my struggle.

May all of you be blessed.

I don't typically post on Sundays here, so here's a pretty picture.

 

Godspousery Notes: "Your wife is a very sick woman."

Dear Reader,

Back when my sleep problems began to be a real issue, Loki and Freyr were telling me to tell Beloved "Your wife is a very sick woman. She needs help." It was a nightly thing, they were alternating evenings with that message for about a year. My response was "Of course I am, I have diabetes." They got frustrated with me and stopped with the message for a little while. (Read 1 month out of 4 years.) 

I started working with my psychiatrist to try to resolve my sleep problem. This got a grumpy "We'll see how it works." Then because of the string of loud, fractious neighbors with dogs that barked/howled at all hours, my sleep got worse. My nightmares that I had somewhat under control came back. My daytime CPTSD symptoms got worse. I kept telling myself this will pass if I have patience.

Then, I woke up in the middle of the night choking on acid reflux and phlegm. I talked to my doctor about it and got put on a stronger acid controlling medicine. Freyr muttered as I took my first dose, "Well, that's a start." I started asking them what they meant by their message. Their response at first was "Tell your husband, he'll understand." I tend to be a bit stubborn and I dug my heels in, focused on getting clarification of what they were talking about. After a while, they insisted that I talk to my primary care doctor about my sleep problems.

I was referred to a sleep doctor who had me do an at home sleep study. The results at first didn't make sense. Then Loki said, "You stop breathing in the night." That got the 'aw crap' response. I just kinda drifted along in the direction the sleep doctor got me moving in. When I got my CPAP, they were eager for me to start using it. I had to rearrange the furniture in the bedroom, which took three days. I got a call from my sleep coach asking why the machine wasn't transmitting data. I explained that we were still  making room for it in the bedroom and I was supposed to start using it that night.

Once I started using the CPAP, the consternation of Freyr and Loki settled down considerably. They still insist I need to talk to my doctor about my back pain. I am tired in the morning because I just don't sleep deeply with the CPAP. I still take my morning naps but they don't last as long. Except for when a freight train hits my head ... I mean when I have migraines. They're still concerned, I'm not sure why and they're being a couple of sphinxes about it. I think it's because of my initial 'well, duh! I have diabetes.' has them a bit gun shy about explaining, because they're expecting me to be stubborn and refuse to listen.

Tasseography: The Art of Reading Tea Leaves

Dear Reader,

During the era where bagged tea wasn't available, a popular hobby was tasseography. You and your querent would both have a nice cup of tea, with most of the leaves strained out as you pour. (The tea strainers from the 1800s are absolutely beautiful and have incredible variety of design.) Once your querent is done with their cup of tea, they tip it upside down and set it on the saucer. You may chat for a moment as you wait for the bits of tea leaves left behind settle into their places and the cup cools down.

Tasseography is a highly intuitive form of divination. What follows below is a list of suggested interpretations.

Anchor = Travel and Adventure
Cross = Change or a decision to be made
Balloon = Unsuccessful project
Butterfly = Good luck
Circles = Wealth
Wreath = Company of good friends
Vehicles = A distant journey
Arrows = Misfortune or news coming from the direction the arrow points

This is but a partial list and the meanings are all different in different contexts. It's almost as vague and flexible an art of divination as reading clouds.