Thoughts, lessons, and theology from an eclectic witch from a varied background.

Thursday, August 13, 2015

30 Days for Freyr: Day I

Who is Freyr?

While I could give the dry account of the role Freyr has in the pantheons of the Aseir and the Vanir, I think everybody else and their cousin who is doing this meme has that covered a thousand times over. So, I'm going to take this from an entirely different angle. I'm going to share with you who Freyr is to me. 

I have struggled with how to write this for almost a week now. It is not because Freyr is not important to me. It is because he is very important to me and I keep feeling like words are inadequate. He sat me down last night and we had a very candid conversation about that feeling. I was told in no uncertain terms that my perfectionism is what is stopping me in many areas of my life and I needed to 'knock it off.' There were some other things said regarding my perfectionism, but that wanders into entirely different territory.

Freyr is someone I love dearly. I love his smile and the way his eyes light up when he laughs. I love the way he will chuckle over my being a dork. I love how he is willing to stop in the midst of all the important work he is doing to just be with me and comfort me when I'm having a bad day or my anxiety is bad. I love how he has always encouraged me to do my best and helped me have the tools I needed to do so. I love how he has stepped in and adjusted things so that I was no longer drowning in despair because I could finally see some hope in the situation. I love how he holds me when it is the end of the day and will just talk to me as I fall asleep. (Which happens right after Beloved is done doing the same. The love from the two of them makes it my favorite part of the day.)

I love the way he'll just randomly smile at me like I am the most beautiful thing on the face of the Earth. I love how he holds my hands when we're out walking and tells me about how his day has been. I love how he will let me comfort him when he is upset with all of the horrors in the world. I love his voice, which is more than just a psychic sound but feels like being wrapped up in a warm velvet blanket on a chill evening. I love how much hope and faith he has in humanity. I love the way he does little things to help my family when things are lean. I adore his generosity and aspire to cultivate that kind of spirit in myself.

I love the way he smells when he is with me. He smells of sun warmed grain fields, honey, and that undefinable smell that mixes fresh baked bread with that of a clean house where the sun is shining in the windows and the breeze softly blowing in. Freyr smells like home to me. He never ceases to amaze and humble me with his love.

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