For the 5th day of Nativity, my true love gave to me...

It has been a very busy time. As much as I wanted to hop on here and blog, it was difficult to find time between holiday gatherings, sick kids, and the general chaos that comes of the children being on break from school. That said, I am pleased to report that the children are doing much better. We have only one broken toy thus far, which I think I managed to repair.

I have been working on updating my devotional journal over the last several days. As I have been writing and thinking hard about Dea, I find myself feeling somewhat under prepared to be writing so much about her. I have a bit of a self-image problem that tends to reflect poorly on my self confidence. I was really struggling with that over the last several days when something suddenly made sense.

My goal with this blog was never to be the authoritative voice on Filianism. I am probably one of the most heterodox Filyani/Filianists that you'll encounter. I found myself getting anxious over the idea that what I presented about Filianism was going to create horrible conflict in the community. I was really starting to worry about this when the silence from Dea deepened over the last year. As I was running around in circles thinking that I was a consummate fraud and such, she was working quietly in the background, as she does.

It was back towards the beginning of Yule that I had a sit down conversation with multiple deities. And that conversation consisted more of their explaining how things were going to work and why they were going to work in that fashion. As a friend of mine described it, it was a deity intervention. I came away from the discussion with Frigga, Freyja, Freyr, Loki, Odin, and Dea with an uncomfortable feeling. I am not very good at being compassionate towards myself. It felt awkward and wrong to be behaving in such a fashion towards myself. And yet multiple things landed in front of me that strongly encouraged this new behavior and feeling.

I was finding myself getting caught up in panic over my disability when the gods sat me down and had that conversation. I've come away from it with a new set of taboos and instructions for how to proceed forward. I thought about it and realized that these taboos and instructions (which frequently overlap) was something that I should probably share here. I'm doing so for two reasons. First, I really started this blog to share my spiritual wanderings and second, I suspect that this may be something that will prove helpful for someone else.

The List

1. I will stop lying to myself about my self worth.
2. I am to begin taking active effort in maintaining my health and welfare.
3. I am to stop apologizing for things that are not my fault.
4. I am to take time to do more of what makes me happy.
5. I am to stop saying cruel things to myself.
6. I will begin reminding myself what my good qualities are.
7. I will remember that I am a valid and valued person.
8. I will do more to take care of myself on all levels.
9. I will believe myself when I am telling myself that I am in pain or otherwise unwell.
10. I am to be more loving towards myself, like I am towards the people who are important in my life

This list is in no particular order. Some folks who are close to me know what the biggest thing on this list is. Others on this list have been added since the initial conversation. Some people have New Year's resolutions, I have a list of rules and tasks to complete. Honestly, I think that this is going to work better for me than the standard New Year's resolutions. I am now accountable to others. This is a very large motivator. I've been told that there are consequences for intentional disobedience. I have also been told that I am allowed a grace period where my stumbling into establishing these practices will be tolerated, so long as I continue to work to make these things happen.

In addition to the list of taboos and tasks, I have also had some strong encouragement to do a few other things. One of them is to talk more about the godspousery thing that I have going on. This is not to be a 'how to' manual as much as a collection of anecdotes and snapshots into what is happening. The argument has been put forth that because I am not ashamed of them, I have no reason to be ashamed of myself either. This has been a consistent argument wielded against the argument that I am doing this all wrong. (By the way, if you are ever in a position where you are attempting to argue with Loki about something which you know you are wrong but too uncomfortable to admit, just give up. He will dismantle your argument and strip away that defense to hold up the mirror to show you just what is going on. And he won't even be angry or anything, he'll just do it. EVERY TIME. When he gets annoyed with your insistence with self-deception, he's probably going to get more ... aggressive about dismantling those arguments as you begin them.)

So, I am embarking on a learning experience. I've been instructed to share it with you all. I'm not sure how I am going to work that into the posting schedule. There is some negotiating going on between myself and the People in my life on how that posting schedule is going to look over the next year. I will notify you of changes to features and such.

Yuletide

Three days into the celebration of Yule and I am feeling somewhat burned out. I originally planned to celebrate Yule and Nativity with the kids. Now, as I am sitting here on the evening of the third day of Yule, I honestly don't think I have the energy to go for the whole 17 days. Having the overlap between Yule and Nativity is pretty cool. It makes less stuff to worry about, but I am finding that it is taking a lot of energy to get stuff for this done and manage the household needs along with the remaining stuff I need to take care of for presents.

I spent the night before the Solstice meditating on the Disir. I put out some offerings just for them that evening. The night before the Solstice is known as Mother's Night. In ancient times, rituals were done to honor the ancestral mothers, known collectively as the Disir. I presume that Freyja was honored as well because she is the Vanadis and I am confident that Frigga was honored at this time. Dame Hulda (Holda, Bertcha, and many other names) is honored at this time as well. She is described alternately as a grandmotherly figure or a stern goddess known as the Lady in White. There is a good amount of folklore about Dame Hulda.

It is said that from Mother's Night to Distaff day (Jan 2) women took a holiday from their household labors, except for that which was needful. The practice of spinning was one that was notably suspended. Different opinions as to what Dame Hulda would do if she found a distaff still loaded come from different regions where she was honored. Some said that for each thread of fiber found left on the distaff, Dame Hulda would bring misfortune to the mistress of the distaff. Others said that for each thread of fiber, she would bless the owner of the distaff. Honestly, I fall on the blessing side of the ledger. But that is only because it has been my experience.

I have been giving the kids little gifts each day of Yule. We're saving the big gifts for the 25th. The rest of the extended family celebrates Christmas. It is also the first day of Nativity. Thus, we're doing the big presents from us and 'from' Odin that day. I think it will help make the holidays less confusing for them. As much as I want to do something special and unique for Nativity, I anticipate being exhausted.

Nativity is the date of the birth of the Daughter. It is a twelve day celebration. It includes the date of the Daughter's birth, the feast of Epiphany, and the day known as Duodecima or 3 Princesses day. I find myself sliding into the habit of referring to Duodecima as 3 Queen's day. It is a bit of a departure from the canon but it just feels correct. And considering that Duodecima is celebrated with Queen cakes (which are sweet heart shaped cakes) the use of the word queen only makes more sense.

The mythos surrounding Nativity eve and Nativity are in many ways parallels to modern mythos of Chrismas. At Nativity eve, the Mother Marya is understood to enter into the Cave of the World to birth her Daughter Anna*. This birth takes place at the dawning of Nativity day. The story of Nativity is beautiful and charming in its simplicity. While the story could be argued to begin with the Conception, the feast of Conception is approximately two weeks before the festival of Nativity begins.

I don't think the separation of the Conception from Nativity diminishes either. It is my understanding that the Conception is separate to reflect the importance of this event and the wonder of it, I also think this is something that is separated so that it is not lost in the Nativity narrative or somehow not given proper consideration. From a theological standpoint the mythos of Nativity is a logical extension of the mythos of creation, which is celebrated in the season of autumn. All of this, however, is better suited for its own post.

Some of the folklore that surrounds Nativity eve is similar to the secular folklore of the Western world. There is a demigoddess figure known as the Star Fairy. She is considered the Queen of the Air Fairies (some argue of all Fairies) and she goes from household to household on Nativity eve blessing each home. She rides in a chariot drawn by eight white horses and she is dressed entirely in white. It is said that she gives gifts to children who are virtuous and leaves a switch for children who are not. She is said to enter the home by coming down the chimney. In many ways, she is like the figure of Santa Claus. I like to think of her as a cross between Queen Mab and Santa, actually.

My children haven't been introduced to the concept of the Star Fairy yet. I am not sure how to approach it. I view the Star Fairy as an embodiment of the holiday spirit. Much like how others view Santa Claus. (I have some issues surrounding Santa Claus, but if I were able to suspend them, I would view Santa the same way.)
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* The orthodox Filyani spell the Daughter's proper name as Inanna. I use Anna for two reasons. One it is a logical derivative of the name Inanna and the etymology makes sense. Two, the Daughter of Filianism is different from the Sumerian goddess Inanna and I don't want to accidentally invoke one when I'm trying to reach the other. Awkward things would happen with that, at best.

Divination: Blank Cards

The use of blank cards for divination is a bit of an advanced intuitive technique. It is one that is not difficult but it depends heavily upon the spread for interpretation versus the card itself. Thus if you are using the Celtic Cross, the information you will be drawing out from the card is going to be focused more intently upon the details associated with that card position than from what can be drawn from the image upon the card. For the purposes of this post, I am going to be discussing the cards as if they are placed out in the Celtic Cross format.

Your equipment is nothing fancy. I use a standard pack of blank index cards. They're easy to acquire and don't require any special care to maintain them. If you really wanted, you could use 52 slips of paper. I use index cards because they're easier to shuffle and lay out. I use the full package of cards but I have also used 52 cards. The number of cards is not fixed and needs only be enough to complete your spread.

Where some people when doing the Celtic Cross has the querent select a card to represent themselves in the spread, with this method it is not necessary. Have the querent shuffle the deck of cards with their query firmly in mind. Then lay out the cards in the correct orientation.

With this technique, you will note it is impossible to have cards in a direct or reversed orientation. This is something I find appealing about this technique because it simplifies the reading. After laying out the cards, start reading them. When you are focusing upon an individual card, it is helpful to touch the card. This helps one to tune into the card's meanings better because it does not allow for the other cards to distract you.

Holding your first card, look at it with your mind's eye. A symbol will appear or you will have a series of emotional and mental impressions. Interpret these as if they were symbols from a dream. When interpreting the symbols, remember to keep your card's position in mind. This will color the meanings of the symbol and impressions you receive from the card. If it is difficult to keep the different symbols in mind and impressions ordered by the card positions, it may be helpful to write down on the card what impressions you received or the primary symbol.

Writing down the symbols as you use the cards is a way to develop your own divination deck unique to what your spirit and psyche communicated with to your conscious mind. While your resulting deck will not be as pretty as most divination decks, it will prove more effective for you because it uses your personal language of symbols which will be easiest for you to decipher.

No video this week.

Hi everybody,

I was really hoping that I would have my voice back by today but it just didn't happen. I can whisper now, so it is starting to come back. I was so focused on trying to get my throat healed up by today that I completely forgot to come up with a topic for this week's post.  I had something more I wanted to add but I can't recall it. The kids are home from school right now and things are a bit hectic. Such it life.

Have a beautiful day, everyone!

♥

The Heart of Water

The Heart of Water is a Filianic idea that I find useful in many different ways. Before I talk about the way this idea helps me with things, let me first explain what it is. The heart of water is a receptive state wherein the person who attains it sees the whole of existence as their kin. The person who possesses the heart of water is described in the following ways by the scripture:

• Gentle
• Meek
• Forgiving
• Possessing natural authority¹
• Obedient to those of authority

There is another element to the heart of water that is not directly expressed, but rather implied. The heart of water is responsive to the situations that arise. It is 'fluid' enough to adapt to circumstances and to respond to threats that arise. Where the heart of ice is brittle and static, the heart of water is freely moving, strong enough to absorb most energy, and resilient. The traits of the element of Water are indeed those of fluidity, resilience, and motion. In several western magical systems, Water is considered to be more mutable than Earth but less so than Air (which is in turn less mutable than Fire). The Filianic cosmological system places Water as one of the three foundational elements of existence².

It is, in fact, the first one mentioned directly in the scriptures. As a foundational element of the cosmos, Water is something that would naturally be a significant part of the theology³. The heart of water in many ways returns the practitioner to that formative time in the history of existence⁴. By maintaining a focus upon retaining the qualities of the heart of water, the practitioner is consciously realigning themselves towards the thamë of their existence⁵. They also will find that it is easier for them to access the states of grace that comes from their natural connection with Dea.

In my personal practices, working to maintain a heart of water is such that I find myself treating myself with greater compassion and love. I also find myself with greater compassion and understanding for the world around me. It also strengthens my connection with Dea and the world of the spirits. Some may argue that qualities such as gentleness and being meek don't mesh with the other deities I follow. I would offer the following rebuttal:

1. Gentleness is a choice that demonstrates considerable control over one's personal power and strength. It could even be described as a form of strength. A strength of will, if you would, that the individual exercises to retain control over themselves in the face of situations where they would otherwise be moved to be harsh. I would also contend that gentleness does not preclude one from taking measures to defend themselves or others.

2. Meek is not the same thing as being a proverbial doormat. Meek is another way to describe humility. True humility is guided by intense and intimate knowledge of oneself and their abilities. The humble need not boast to attain their fame. Their deeds speak for them. Where others may make exaggerated declarations to self-aggrandize, the humble makes simple statements of what they will accomplish. They do not embellish their tales but rather allow the facts to be as they are.

I believe that the pride that the text I linked to above is warning against is not the healthy natural pride that encourages one to be filled with self-respect and dignity. I believe it is the level of pride that leads one to bravado and foolishness. In short, arrogance and hubris.

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1. Authority is something of a state of grace that is derived from Dea. The classical Filianic view upon society is that it is a pyramidal structure like an absolute monarchy, when in it's 'correct' orientation. The vision of society that is presented by Filianism is of a benevolent absolute monarchy that is ultimately ruled by Dea herself, within the Daughter as Princess of the World. The priestess of Dea are placed as those of greater authority than the more worldly people of higher society, though ultimately the priestess and overlord (overlady? I'm not sure what is the most orthodox phrasing here.) share their duties and submission to Dea.

As a heterodox Filyani, my views upon authority are a bit different. I recognize societies are built upon social contracts. Ultimately, authority can be found within the individual. When societies develop their social contracts, I understand this particular section of the scriptures calling us to honor our obligations both as people who are submitting to the authority of others and as people who assume authority. In another post, I may discuss how I view the interplay between faith, social contracts, and politics.

2. The Filianic cosmological system is another interesting thing that falls outside the scope of this piece. It is something that is very much an implied set of things, as the texts vary rarely will define things in concrete terms. Still, there is an organized system for viewing the whole of existence and the relationships between all things within it.

3. I use the term theology as a gender neutral term. I know that others within the Filianic/Déanic community would prefer the term thealogy. I, however, struggle with the use of it. I ask that those who are disinclined towards the term theology in use discussing Filianic matters please understand this is not intended as a slight.

4. The Golden Age is a mytho-historic period wherein all of existence is in union with Dea, as per the Filianic scriptures and mythos. It is not a point of history but something that is suspended outside of our concept of time because said concept of time did not exist prior to the descent of the First Daughter into incarnation.

5. In my consideration of the matter of thamë and its implications, I have come to the conclusion that there are a few different ways that harmony with the celestial order of existence comes into play. First is that of personal thamë wherein an individual is true to their inner nature. Second is interpersonal thamë wherein all parties strive to maintain a harmonious and mutually beneficial relationship. Third is collective thamë, whereby societies work to be maintained in a harmonious and mutually beneficial way. Finally, there is global thamë where the different societies of the world work towards said goals. There are some additional nuances to this, but this my rough theory.

Divination: Runes

If you have a passing familiarity with modern paganism, you will most likely have encountered runes. Now, the term runes is used for more than just the alphabet that they are associated with historically. One meaning of the term rune is mystery. It also means a poem or song, as per the ancient rūn (this is an Old Norse word). Finally, the term rune is used for any of the characters used in the alphabets of the Germanic peoples.There are two known variants used anymore. The Anglo-Saxons had their variant that is found predominantly in the British Isles artifacts and regions where this group lived. The Nordic peoples had their own variant which is found elsewhere, including places as far from Europe as North America. The Anglo-Saxon runes are retained to a limited extent within English (þ is an example of a modernized rune). Modernized variants of the Nordic runes can be found within the languages of the Nordic peoples, but, like the modernized Anglo-Saxon runes, they occur infrequently.

In comparatively modern times, the term rune has come to be associated with magical scripts. As such, there are many magical scripts that are known as runes, though they are not derived from any of the ancient Germanic alphabet systems known. These scripts, however, fall outside of the focus of this post. I am focusing upon the modern practice of using the Norse runic alphabet for divination purposes. The practice is argued by some to be the same as what Tacitus observed when he was in Gaul  but, honestly, the observation leaves more questions than answers. The use of runes as a divination system was something of a fringe practice compared to more well known techniques such as cartomancy and crystal ball scrying.

The practice really came to the fore as a mainstream divination system in the early 1990s with Ralph Blum's text The Book of Runes and its companion rune set. Prior to this point in time, runes were predominantly were used as a divination system by people involved with Asatru and related belief systems*. Blum's text was an elaboration off of what had become the 'standard' meanings of the runes as per popular folk knowledge and adapted with some consultation of the I Ching. (Blum makes an argument for the I Ching to be used as a support tool for clarifying the meanings of the runes. I personally don't apply this. In my experience, the two systems are only compatible on the grossest of levels. When one starts looking into the practices, it becomes evident that they are entirely different fairly quickly.) Blum also introduced the blank rune. While it was a part of the rune sets that you could locate at this time, it was not formally discussed until Blum. I haven't been able to establish when the blank rune was added to the set but I have reason to believe this was something that arose in the 1960s, when a larger population began exploring divination.

There is a laundry list of sites where you can look up the commonly accepted meanings of the runes. The most basic level of rune meanings is derived from the ancient rune poems from the Norse peoples. These meanings are generally very abstract. People have then attempted to devise more detailed meanings for each character. Some have shown signs of truly being inspired (perhaps even directly stated, if I may be so bold) by Odin (from whom the runes were given to humanity). Others are clearly of a more human interpretation.

My reading of the runes is not heavily influenced by the more detailed interpretations that you can find easily on the Internet. Indeed, the major influence upon my reading of the runes are the translations of the rune poems and the most basic associations of the runes. My interpretation of the runes is based off of intuitive knowledge and what I am told from the spiritual realm. While not everyone has the connection to the spiritual realm that allows them to 'hear' information, they do have access to the spiritual realm through their intuition.

When doing intuitive readings, it is good to keep notes so that you can recognize themes that come up. It is also good to record the reading because, if you're like me, as soon as you're done with the reading the understanding that guided you will vanish like a puff of smoke. Also, when doing intuitive readings, allow yourself to be as direct as tacit will allow. What may seem to you as weird gibberish results for the reading may prove to be more accurate than you realize. I've had it happen where I've done full readings with the terrible feeling that everything I was relating was just whimsy. Only to learn that those readings are some of my most accurate. The trick to expressing this stuff is to be honest and mention everything that comes up with the intuitive associations. If you find yourself having to think hard about it or you're beginning to repeat yourself, you have essentially hit the end of what information you are going to draw from the rune (or tarot card or pretty much any other divination tool you use this method with).

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* I use the term belief systems because there are systems that do not define themselves as religions out there that use these kinds of things.

Question Time: How to do relationships with gods work? (pt. 2)

In my post yesterday, I talked a little bit about the relationships that I have with Freyr and Loki. Let me talk a little about the stuff that I do on my side of the relationship. I am a devotional polytheist.

Just because there is a relationship beyond petitioner-deity happening, I am not in a position where I can skip devotional work. In truth, my devotional work load increases because of it. I have daily offerings that I make. They're usually those of candles, food, and drink. I try to make sure that these offerings are fresh and pleasant. Loki's made clear to me how he likes his coffee. (It's like how I do it. He's even gone so far as to steal my cup of coffee because I didn't get his made fast enough.) He's got his own special cup and everything. Freyr is more into tea and he enjoys his tea super sweet. Sometimes he surprises me by requesting coffee. I have been giving Odin offerings of alcohol (with a part of the alcohol offering also going to Loki). He has, however, been approving of coffee offerings.

I will give offerings of work to them. I will dedicate my writings to them. I have written things down by dictation. I have written visions down as they unfolded. It's been a fairly wide range of how that one works out. I also will offer my efforts to improve myself to their honor. Freyr has taken a decided interest in how I am working to improve my physical well being. Loki and Odin are more interested in the psychological stuff. Not that the three of them don't exchange issues from time to time, but that is where the effort falls most of the time.

I will do psychic work for others as an offering to Odin. He's been working on getting me to the point where I am doing readings more often. Odin's been patient with me but I suspect that patience is beginning to wear thin. More situations where I am doing readings randomly for people I know on Facebook have been popping up and I suspect that the All Father is behind that. (Oh, in case I didn't clarify it before now, Odin has stepped into the paternal role on the spirit side of things.) He has been guiding me in my efforts to broaden my knowledge base about magical study things too. Working with Frejya, Odin has been teaching me more magic. I'm still not entirely sure about what I am supposed to be doing with it, but I think that will be revealed later.

I try to spend some quiet time with the gods every day. Usually, it is a bit of time meditating before I go to sleep at the end of the day. And this usually has us having conversations via psychic contact. I talk about pretty much anything that is on my mind. Some days, Freyr just sits with me, an arm wrapped around my shoulders, and listens. Other days, he will talk to me about the stuff I mention. On occasion, he will start the conversation and we talk about stuff. And then there are the days where Loki is present. And those days... they are very revealing. Loki doesn't mince words. he's very direct about things and telling me what he thinks. Some would call it abrupt, I think brutal honesty is a better description for it. Sometime, Freyr and Loki are around at the same time. This can turn into my talking with both of them. Or I am listening as they talk to each other. Or I'm talking with one as the other adds comments from time to time.