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Thoughts, lessons, and theology from an eclectic witch from a varied background.

Wednesday, July 29, 2020

July for Loki: Post No. 28 - Sexuality of Deity?

Dear Reader,

One of the questions that pops up for godspouses is what's their sex life like and what is the sexuality of the deity they're involved with like. It's a question that rankles me. Loki likes to tease me and call me a prude because I get uncomfortable discussing the intimate details of sex (and yet I write erotica, go figure). I get upset with this question for the same reason I get upset with similar questions about my intimate relationship with Beloved.

This stuff is private. This is something that is between lovers and not for the whole world to criticize and give their opinions on. I wouldn't walk up to a random stranger on the street and ask them for juicy details about their sex life. Random asks like that is exactly the same. It's rude and offensive. Not because of the topic but because of the level of entitlement the person asking the question dares to approach you with. 

Godspouses and spirit-workers don't owe anyone a damn shred of information about what their sex life is like. The assumption that their sex life is the primary model of what all are like is moronic in my opinion. There are as many different ways to have sex as can be imagined. Only limitations are on what you can bring to fruition within the manifest world. Following the rule of safe, sane, and consensual is a must for any flavor of sex you're involved in. If all parties are happy, no one is getting injured, and there's no harm, everyone else can shut their mouths and look the other way.

My experience of the sexuality of Loki is varied and complex. That's because our relationship is varied and complex. At the same time it is simple. Because there's core elements that are the building blocks of the relationship that don't change regardless of what ever activities we've engaged in. There seems to be this idea floating around that if one puts enough pressure on a deity they're attracted to that they'll get to have sex with them. Throwing yourself at a deity and begging them to have intimate relations with you is not a good idea. It doesn't matter which deity it is.

It's like trying to make your way into someone's pants by way of being their friend. You don't put in kindness tokens to get sex out. With gods,  you don't put in offerings and prayers to get sex out. It's a dick move and I can tell you right now that where a person might not see through the ploy, a deity can. And generally, they get offended by this type of behavior because you're attempting to rob them of agency.

(Pro tip: Don't pull this with any fertility deities, they'll ruin your day for it. Especially the twins.)

You may be smitten with a deity. You may lust after a deity. You can choose to offer them sexual energy. That doesn't mean that they're going to instantly come and gratify your desires. Spend some time getting to know the deity and build the relationship. It may be that it becomes an intimate relationship that involves spirit-sex. It may be that it turns into something entirely different that is better for you than that spirit-sex focused relationship ever could have been.

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