Thoughts, lessons, and theology from an eclectic witch from a varied background.

Sunday, July 12, 2015

July for Loki # 9 Godphone?

So, some people call this thing I do 'godphone'. I can't literally hear Loki like a physical based sound. There is no Loki (95% of the time) physically standing by me saying smart ass things. I know it's not just my thoughts because the tone, timbre, and content is frequently vastly different from what I would say or think. It is not my imagination, folks, trust me. That said, I do hear him much like the auditory hallucinations I've had in the past but it is outside of my head rather than inside it. (If that makes any sense.)

Somedays, my 'godphone' is pretty quiet. Loki's a busy god. He's got stuff to do, people to see, and horses to seduce. When Loki shows up and starts talking to me the topics vary wildly. Sometimes he has something deep and super serious to say about something that is going on. Other times he is completely trolling me with bad jokes, terrible puns, and deliberately singing stuff off key. The latter drives me batty, which is why he does it so often. When he decides to sing something correctly, by the way, he has an amazing singing voice.

Loki's one of the first voices I heard over my 'godphone'. The first message from him is one that I can approximately recall. I'm not one hundred percent sure of what it was because I was too stunned that I was hearing someone talking to me in an empty room. Shortly after this, I had my first experience of seeing/hearing the dead. If I recall it correctly, Loki said, "Hey kid. It's me." That message didn't come completely out of the blue. I had been reading for the millionth time the book of norse mythology that my parents had. As I read about Loki and looked at the pictures, I found myself wishing I could talk to him. About five minutes later, Flame Hair said something.

Along with 'godphone', I get visions of things. It's this eerie combination of seeing someone/something in my mind's eye and something like it in physical vision. Usually, it is a shadow where one of the dead are standing, a faint darkening of the place where they are, like there is suddenly a faint shadow in that spot compared to the rest of my field of view. Oh, the things that I have seen because of Loki. Some of it was hilarious (like the purple velvet pimp costume complete with zebra striped vest and zebra striped cane, as he was singing Uptown Funk) and some of it was heart breaking (like the sight of him bound in the cave). Usually, when I 'see' the gods, it is like there is a greater bit of illumination in the spot where they're standing compared to the shadows that go with the dead. I don't claim to understand it, but that is how it happens for me.

Between the 'godphone' and visions, I am pretty spoiled on how I interact with Loki and the other gods. I even have times where I can feel touches from them (it feels like the sensation of someone's hand being close to your arm but not touching, but with no hand there). Usually, however, it is the 'hearing' of Loki that happens for me. His snark is glorious and he regularly has some wickedly biting commentary on stuff that goes on in the world. He also has his times where he is quiet or when he is serious about things. There have been times where I've seen/heard him being sad about something and it breaks my heart.

Loki's anger... Well, let's just say I don't ever want to be in his crosshairs and I almost pity the people who have earned it. I say almost because when he is telling me about someone that's made him angry 95% of the time, they've done stuff that would have made me just as furious. Once in a while, I have arguments with him but he never gets angry with me. He'll get irritated with me and give me the silent treatment (which is honestly worse than when he calls me on the carpet for something). But I've never had that towering rage directed at me and I hope I never do.

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