July for Loki post # 2 (untitled)

Some people say that Loki is bad news because he is a deity of chaos. It is something that I can empathise with. At one point, I was so anxious about Loki's role as a chaos bringer, that I didn't say his name and referred to him only by by-names, the more obscure the better. It was a rough time in my life, to say the least, and I mistakenly thought that Loki's presence was going to make things worse. Obviously, I got through that situation, realized that saying his name didn't cause the sky to fall, and moved on to where I comfortably converse with him again, using by-names on occasion (or when talking about him around my husband, who feels that invoking Loki directly brings more upheaval into the house than he is comfortable with).

Chaos isn't that awful, to be honest. It is overwhelming and terrifying at times, especially if you have the need to maintain control over the situation (something I am guilty of in spades). At the same time, chaos is part of what makes the world go 'round. Entropy is just a fancy word for chaos. With out entropy, everything would cease to exist. (Yes, I am applying SCIENCE here. The spiritual elements are in a complicated relationship with the scientific ones.) From chaos comes energy that puts things into motion. If you need somebody to kick your butt into doing stuff, Loki is a great motivator.

As a motivator, Loki has helped me accomplish a great deal of stuff. My budding writing career would have remained just an idle wish if it wasn't for Loki prodding me into action. I would have been wallowing in despair and depression to a point of severe clinical illness if Loki hadn't pointed me in the direction of the way out of that dark place and assured me that it was possible to regain my health after the first hospitalization. I would have given up all together upon witchcraft if it hadn't been for Loki giving me very ... powerful reminders that my spiritual experiences are legitimate. (If having two pets revived from death isn't a sign, then I don't know what is.)

Has the motivation always been gentle? Nope, but that's not Loki's operating style. Has it always been something I was comfortable with? Nope, but honestly Loki isn't someone to always coddle his people or handle them with kid gloves (except for when he does because it is necessary or for some other reason). Loki is just as likely to give one person a quick pep talk about how they can do the thing as he is to put another person in a position where they are forced to do the thing or face really uncomfortable consequences. (Yes, I just committed an enormous understatement. But I can't think of anything better right now.)

I know, however, I can always count on Loki to be in my corner. It may manifest in ways that confuse me or seem counter current to what is going on, but that's just what Loki does. I know that when I need him, Loki steps up and helps me out. And I do my best to do the same thing for him, because that is what friends do.